


Chaos Brings Us Together

by SupercityCarnival



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24822523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupercityCarnival/pseuds/SupercityCarnival
Summary: Title taken from an interview with Shohoreh Aghdashloo as she was speaking about Chrisjen and Bobbie's relationship. This story will cover the time after the protomolecule is destroyed by the Roci crew and how Chrisjen and Bobbie come back together. It's an AU and will feature several of the events from the series, with a twist, of course.I haven't written in ages, so take it easy on me.
Relationships: Chrisjen Avasarala & Bobbie Draper, Chrisjen Avasarala/Bobbie Draper
Comments: 47
Kudos: 75





	1. Comms Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 - The six month void after the protomolecule.

_*One month after the events of the protomolecule scandal*_

There was nothing like being a marine in the Martian Marine Corp. Serving one's planet and defending its people was the greatest honor any Martian could hope for. Sure, military service was a requirement on Mars, but any true Martian welcomed it. After all, they were building the greatest planet in the Sol with the most leading technology ever known to mankind. 

Four hundred years ago, Mars had been simply the red rock orbiting the sun next to Earth. No one knew of the resources it held or the opportunity it would offer. Once the colonies took hold on Mars, independence from Earth was the natural next step, whether Earth liked it or not. 

Now, Mars had the most sophisticated environmental systems, the best scientists and engineers, and the most advanced military ships anyone had ever seen. They were a respectable and formidable force and they weren't stopping anytime soon. Yes, there was nothing like being a marine in the Martian Marine Corp. 

Aboard the Halifax, orbiting Mars, airlock doors opened and closed as marines came in from routine space walk drills. The click, click of mag boots filled the metal hallways as the men and women made their way from staging areas back to their quarters and vise versa. The ship was humming with activity. It had only been orbiting for a day or so and everyone was still settling in. 

Gunnery Sergeant Bobbie Draper tapped the button to open the door to her quarters. As the door opened, she stepped in, tapping the button to close it. She glanced around, still getting accustomed to where all her things were located. 

She was lucky. She had this bunk all to herself, where most of the crew were doubled up. This room was also decked out with more comforts than some others, mostly only reserved for officers. Bobbie wasn't sure how she'd managed to get assigned to it, but she certainly wasn't going to put up a fuss. 

Coming to sit on the edge of the bed, Bobbie tugged at the collar of her flight suit, unbuttoning it and pulling the zipper down part way. She finally began to relax after hours in zero G, pulling apart pieces of the outer hull and putting it back together. The drills were essential to get the crew familiar with the ship, but they were draining. 

Just as she was about to search for something to eat, the comms beeped an incoming transmission. Moving to pick up the data pad, Bobbie's eyebrows lifted at the words _"Incoming, Chrisjen Avasarala"_ blinking back at her. Her weariness was forgotten as she quickly tapped the button to answer. Turning toward the wall monitor, Bobbie gave a quick swipe of her fingers, sending the video chat to the larger screen. 

The picture came into sharp focus and Bobbie couldn't help the closed lip smile she gave at the image. Chrisjen Avasarala sitting behind her desk, looking as regal as ever. Her onyx hair was pulled back into something elaborate and the deep purple sari she wore complimented the shade of her skin. The best part was the beaming smile she gave Bobbie. 

"Gunnery Sergeant Draper," Avasarala said, her deep accent floating to Bobbie's ears. 

"Ma'am," Bobbie responded, "it's good to see you." She tried to hide the surprise from her voice. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" 

Avasarala answered quickly. "I wanted to see how you're doing. In your last message, you said this was the time of day that your ship would be closest to Earth." 

At that, Bobbie could no longer contain her small smile. Her lips parted as she breathed out, happily taken aback. This woman was a constant source of surprise. The idea that the Secretary General of the United Nations of Earth had even listened to, let alone remembered, her last message thrilled her slightly. To be honest, Bobbie liked the idea of her waiting for just the right time of day or night to be close enough to get a decent transmission. 

"I'm doing alright," Bobbie told her. "I have to admit, it feels great to be back in uniform." 

And it truly did. She couldn't believe it when the Corp had reinstated her after seeking asylum on Earth. Avasarala had played a big part in getting Bobbie back into the Corp, pulling all the Martian strings she had. But when Chrisjen Avasarala made a promise, she damn well kept it, and she'd promised Bobbie that she would do everything she could to get her back into uniform. 

Now, after being apart and speaking live for the first time in almost a month, Bobbie found herself missing the easy rapport she had with Avasarala. She hadn't managed to build any solid relationships with her new squad yet. 

Suddenly, Bobbie noticed the lighting the Avasarala's office and the slight tired look on her face. "What time is there, ma'am?" 

"Well," the older woman sighed, "considering this the first moment of fucking peace all day long, I'd say it's late." 

Bobbie grinned, "Burning the midnight oil?" 

"I didn't want to miss my chance to talk to you live, so I figured I'd wait here." 

"I'm glad," was all Bobbie could think to say. 

After a few absent-minded moments of quiet, content to watch each other, Avasarala asked, "How do you like your quarters?" 

Bobbie's brow knit at the question as her sharp mind quickly connected dots. Her shoulders slumping slightly, she answered a question with a question. "Ma'am, did you secure this room for me?" 

Looking caught, the Secretary sat up a little straighter, clearly about to tell a lie. Then her own shoulders fell. "I'm too fucking tired," she stated. "Yes."

A little exasperated, Bobbie replied, "You can't do things like that for me. I'm already having a hard time fitting in with this new batch of marines." Softening her tone, she said, "I can take care of myself." 

Avasarala breathed in, lips parted, ready to retort. She must be exhausted, Bobbie thought, when the woman simply gave a dramatic wave of her hand and said, "Fine." 

Both women relaxed a bit, gentler looks exchanged. "I promised you I'd take care of you," Avasarala told her. 

"And you have, ma'am." Bobbie appreciated the gesture, but she needed to stand on her own. There were already whispers around the ship, people still questioning Bobbie's loyalty. She understood it, but favors from Earth's highest office wouldn't help. "Now I need to take care of myself." 

Avasarala gave a small nod of understanding. Just then, a small bit of static interrupted the feed. The ship was passing around the planet. Soon Bobbie would be too far away for the live feed to hold. 

"We only have a few minutes before we lose the feed," Bobbie said. She pulled a chair up to the screen and sat down, ready to spend whatever time she could with her friend. 

Leaning back in her plush, leather office seat, Avasarala told her, "Then I want to hear everything about how you're doing." 

With a small smile, Bobbie sat back, sharing her life with one of the very few people she trusted. 

********************

_*About three months after the protomolecule scandal and three months before the Ring's appearance*_

Chrisjen Avasarala sat on the sofa in her office, surrounded by far too many advisors. At some point in the last half hour, they'd stopped actually advising her and taken to bickering among themselves. 

This is just like politicians, Chrisjen thought to herself, can't ever keep their eyes on the fucking ball. She rolled her eyes to herself. 

Today's particular situation involved a Martian way station between Earth and the red planet. The station provided fuel, food, and water for travelers moving between the two planets. Lately, however, the Martians had taken to making it very difficult for Earth's ships to get through, constantly checking clearance codes and rejecting ones they deemed too old, or too new, or announcing all the sudden that certain cargo couldn't pass without boarding and inspection. It was getting out of hand, holding up commute to the point of frustration on all sides.

Here in the Secretary General's office, ideas on how to handle the conflict were aplenty. Good ideas, however, were hard to come by. Chrisjen couldn't believe how petty Earth remained, even after the Eros incident when so many could have died, even after the protomolecule, when Earthers, Martians, and Belters all had to unite to stop a war. 

They'd succeeded and Chrisjen was hopeful that new peace would blossom throughout the galaxy. She'd been wrong. The lack of compassion being displayed in front her now proved it. 

Standing to her feet, she took a deep breath in. In the most authoritative voice she could muster, Chrisjen practically shouted, "Everyone shut the fuck up!" At that, everyone's mouths snapped shut, attention turning to her. "Look at you." Her disappointment was obvious. "Everything we've been through and you think it still comes down to interplanetary domination. Until you can give me a solution that works for both Earth and Mars, get the hell out!" She pointed dramatically toward the door. When no one moved, she emphasized the pointing. Slowly, they began to file out. As they were leaving, she reminded them, "That means that you have to think about what Mars wants and needs as well." 

Finally they were gone, the last one having quietly closed the door. Walking slowly over to her desk, Chrisjen collapsed into her chair. Breathing out roughly, she lifted fingers to each side of her head, massaging her temples.

The comm pad on the desk beeped at her, threatening to break her first quiet moment in hours. It was one of her security guards. She tapped the screen to answer. 

"What," she asked firmly. 

"We're about ready to go, ma'am," the guard informed her. 

As she glanced at the pad, Chrisjen noticed several missed messages. She hated taking her work home. She got home so late as it was. "Give about twenty more minutes," she told him. 

"Yes ma'am. We'll be right outside your door when you're ready." 

She tapped the comm to end the call. The days went by so fast. Looking toward the window, she realized it was dark out and had been for some time. With another sigh, she went back to the comm screen. When she saw a familiar name pop up in the messages, she felt instantly awake. 

Chrisjen turned her office chair to face her computer monitor. She quickly swiped the screen, sending the message to the montior on her desk. She smiled brightly when Bobbie's face was looking back at her. She tapped play to begin the message. 

"Good morning, ma'am," Bobbie started, "or whatever time it is when you get this."

Bobbie had a tired look on her face, but she still managed a small smile. She was wearing her service uniform, hair pulled back neatly. She must be back on Mars, Chrisjen thought. There was no need for the formal uniform in space. Chrisjen sat back, ready to take in any contact from Bobbie. She never realized how much she missed her until she got these messages, or a rare time when they were able to speak live. 

"I just wanted to check in," Bobbie continued. "We haven't talked in a while. I hope everything's going okay." She paused, seeming troubled. "I know if we were live, you'd brush off every question I ask about you because you always want to know about me."

Chrisjen's smile widened at that. It was true. She was always anxious to hear about the young marine's exploits. Bobbie was always so to the point and matter of fact, no beating around the bush, and it made her easy to listen to... and talk to. But when she saw Bobbie sigh, she was suddenly concerned. 

After a long pause, she said. "I don't think the marines here trust me. I've done everything I can to show them my loyalty lies with Mars, but I can see they don't believe me." Bobbie stopped, gathering her thoughts. "I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do, you know? I do my job the best I can, and I'm damn good at it. I treat everyone fairly, I crack jokes, I listen, but no matter what there's just this tension." 

This is what Bobbie had been afraid of, Chrisjen remembered - the notion that her fellow marines wouldn't be able to get past the idea of her defecting to Earth. Technically, the act had been treason, yes, especially when she shared everything she knew about Mars' deception with Chrisjen. However, she had more than proved her loyalty to Mars a hundred times over in the weeks and months that followed. She never betrayed Mars, she simply believed Earth too and that belief had cost her dearly. 

"Anyway," the message went on. "I know it'll pass," Bobbie said. "And I'm pretty sure my commanders are good with me, so I guess that's the important part anyway." Chrisjen watched as Bobbie reached over to a table, grabbing some food and taking a bit. She almost chuckled to herself, recalling Bobbie's voracious appetite. After finishing the bite, she continued with, "You know what, whatever." There it was, Chrisjen thought, Bobbie's unnatural ability to shrug off the bad and focus on the good. "We started two/two splits. Two months in space on patrol, two weeks on the surface training," she explained. "They've moved forward with more terraforming. I wish you could see it. It's a marvel." 

Chrisjen finally relaxed, taking in every word as Bobbie launched into twenty minutes of description on the red planet's surface. Bobbie's passion for Mars almost equaled her own for Earth. She enjoyed hearing about the planet from Bobbie's perspective. It helped keep her decisions toward Mars grounded and empathetic. 

After almost a half hour, the message ended. Chrisjen instantly hit the play button again. 

********************

_*Two weeks before the Ring's appearance*_

Bobbie quickly checked herself in the mirror. She smoothed out her hair and dabbed a cloth with some water. Running the cloth over her face, she erased the traces of oil residue left over from her day's work. She and her unit had cleaned every weapon on the ship today. It had taken hours, but something about the work seemed well worth it to Bobbie. 

Tugging at the lapels of her black utility uniform, Bobbie gave herself one last glance. She looked okay, she supposed. She didn't have time to second guess herself. The comm pad began to beep. Right on time. 

She checked the pad seeing exactly what she'd expected to see - _"Incoming, Chrisjen Avasarala."_ Picking up the pad anxiously, Bobbie tapped the accept button, beaming the image to her monitor. 

In the last couple months, they'd finally been able to develop a schedule of live calls and talked almost twice a week. Bobbie's unit was called farther out on this two month mission, bringing her even closer to Earth for a longer amount of time almost every day. She looked forward to her calls with Avasarala more than anything. 

Unfortunately, she had been wrong about the tension passing between her and the other marines. Granted, if anyone was monitoring the private comms, they no doubt knew that Bobbie spoke with the UN Secretary General often, but she didn't care. Since her reinstatement, Alex and Avasarala remained her closest friends and, if there was one thing Bobbie had learned, friends you can truly trust are few and far between. 

She was broken from her thoughts when the image came into focus and a distinctive voice spoke a casual, "Good morning, Sergeant." 

Before she knew it, a reflexive smile came to her lips. She wasn't sure when she became unable to control her face around Avasarala. "Good morning, ma'am," she returned, easily. 

"And how is the space around Mars today?" 

"Safe and clear, ma'am." Bobbie sat down. Neither one of them were big on small talk so when Bobbie asked, "How are you?" She expected a real answer. 

"Tired, but good. I think we're finally making some headway in peace talks with the Belt." 

After tensions were finally easing in the wake of the protomolecule scandal, Earth and Mars were slowly coming to a new understanding. Avasarala was determined to take that new peace and expand it to the Belters as well, though it was proving to be a difficult road. 

"If anyone can unite the Belters with the inner planets, it's you," Bobbie said confidently. "You already convinced a Martian marine and a ship crewed by two Earthers, a Martian, and a Belter to cross the Sol with you for a sliver of a chance at stopping a threat that none of us understood." 

Though she smiled slightly at the compliment, Avasarala countered with a sarcastic, "That was easier. The Belt fucking hates us. I had no idea how deep it went." 

"I know you'll figure it out." 

They watched each other for a moment and Bobbie could swear she saw Avasarala's eyes looking her over with an expression she couldn't quite pin point. 

"I wanted to ask you something," the Secretary General finally said. 

Bobbie only nodded. "Sure." 

Leaning forward in her chair, one elbow on her desk, Avasarala's eyes brightened and Bobbie was suddenly nervous. 

"Come to dinner with me." 

Bobbie's eyes widened as the invitation hung in the air. "What?" It was the only response she could muster. 

Avasarala repeated, "Come to dinner with me." 

Bobbie didn't think she understood. "On Earth?" 

Avasarala only gave a slow nod in answer. 

"I don't know… um." Bobbie tried to form a coherent answer to such an unexpected request. Part of her was supressing an exuberant yes. Another part still wasn't sure she understood. Did _'come to dinner with me'_ mean something different on Earth? "I don't know if I can." 

"Come on." She was apparently ready for that response. "You've been working twenty-four seven for months. Admit it. When was your last personal day? And don't give me some shit about how marines don't need personal days." 

Bobbie grinned slightly. It was true. She has been working practically around the clock aside from food and sleep. Partly to earn the respect of her fellow shoulders still questioning her motives, partly because she genuinely loved the work. But dinner with Chrisjen Avasarala? Now that had her attention. 

"I can see about getting some leave," Bobbie said. 

"I can get you leave." 

"No, ma'am! We've talked about this. No special treatment." 

"But you'll come if you can?" Bobbie didn't miss the hopeful tone in her voice. For some reason, it made her heart skip a beat. 

"I'd love to," she confessed. "I'll put in for the leave today." 

"Keep me posted," Avasarala said, with what looked very much like a victory smirk. 

"I will, ma'am." 

"Bobbie." 

"Yes ma'am?" Bobbie quickly asked. 

"Please stop fucking calling me ma'am." 

With that, Bobbie watched as Avasarala tapped the button terminating the call and effectively ending the conversation before Bobbie could take back the answer she'd given. 

Bobbie sat back in her chair, flabbergasted and exhilarated all at once.


	2. To Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The anticipation of Bobbie's visit has both women questioning themselves.

The hottest planet in the Sol, Venus reached temperatures of almost a thousand degrees. It's atmosphere was almost entirely composed of carbon dioxide and no matter how advanced mankind's technology became, humans still never ventured to Venus's hellish surface. Even the most sturdy ships and robots used to mine the precious iron ore from the planet's core had to be routinely replaced as each trip to the fiery place caused irreparable damage with its gaseous clouds and eroding winds that consistently blew at hundreds of miles per hour. There was no water anywhere on the entirety of Venus, above or below ground, no ancient ice caves to sustain life like on Mars. It was a wasteland. 

Yet somehow, in the middle of the planet's raging nature, a speck of blue light pulsed in a vast crater. 

Eros. 

For months it had been silently resting on the surface of Venus. No transmissions, no activity, no life signs, nothing… except a constant, flickering blue light. 

Even the news cycles had all but dropped the story. For weeks it seemed every camera in the system was trained on Venus, expecting something, though no one knew quite what, to happen. As time passed, so did the curiosity and concern. 

Chrisjen Avasarala knew better. Throughout the offices and conference rooms of the United Nations building, she made sure televisions streamed a live broadcast of the closest image they could get of the Eros crater. She kept her eye on Eros, convinced they hadn't heard the last of the doomed station. That damned constant, flickering blue light taunted her. 

Even now, Chrisjen's eyes were fixated on the screen in the situation room as her mind wandered. Voices around her came into sharp focus when someone slammed their hand on the large circular display board in the center of the room. 

One of the military commanders spoke in a firm tone. "If we don't show force now, Mars will walk all over us!" 

Gaze darting to meet the man's, Chrisjen kept her voice even. "And what would you have the UN do? What kind of show you force, as you say, would be adequate?" When she was met with silence, she continued, "We're talking about civilians here, people running a blockade for a chance to make a better life for themselves. What would you have us do?" 

The commander answered quickly. "Send a fleet of gunships to the atmospheric border and make sure that everyone knows that when they come to Earth illegally, they run the risk of getting themselves killed." 

Chrisjen's expression hardened. Everyone was quiet, no doubt wondering why someone would so blatantly challenge the General Secretary's stance on Martian refugees. Slowly standing, Chrisjen calmly said, "Commander, you know very well that everyone is welcome on Earth, whether they are Martian, Belter, or from the outer planets. This type of openness is the only way we repair the damage between our worlds." Taking calculated steps to stand in front of the man, she told him, "I understand your stance. You want them to have the proper clearance and I agree they should." Her voice began to grow less cordial when she said, "But if you think gunships are the answer to innocent families on cargo barges then I suggest you pack your things and get the fuck out." 

She stood still in front of him, not wavering until he was the one who finally lost the stare down. Walking past her, he muttered a frustrated, "Excuse me." 

Relaxing her shoulders, Chrisjen glanced to one of her more trusted military advisors. "He's not completely wrong," she admitted. "Set up a meeting with our Martian liaisons. We certainly aren't going to shoot anyone out of the sky, but we must find a solution to the free running that's happening across our space." 

As they all began talking amongst themselves again, Chrisjen checked the time. She had a meeting with her economic team in thirty minutes. Leaving the room, she began to walk to her office. 

Her head of security quickly fell in step with her. "The commander looked pissed," he commented. 

"Yes," she responded, "assholes often are pissed when they are challenged on the idiocy of their points." She allowed the tiniest quirk of her lips when she heard him chuckle beside her. 

However, Chrisjen also knew the inherent problems with Earth's new open policy. With a fifty percent unemployment rate and good jobs dwindling, how was anyone supposed to come build a life here? Humans left Earth because they had outgrown it. Mars was the saving grace of humanity. They'd learned to colonize it at just the right time to prevent extreme overpopulation. In fact, Earth's economy was still reeling from having to support too many people for too long. 

Unfortunately, newer tensions on the red planet had its own citizens less than satisfied. Its government was mixed with hints of communism and socialism, leaving little room for free choice. Required military service, combined with poor wages and inadequate housing, among other things, were pushing the population's patience. Along with increasing tensions throughout the entire system, more Martians were being asked to serve and die and none of them liked it. 

Chrisjen was stuck. Allow people of other worlds the chance to come to Earth at the detriment of her own people, or turn away desperate and hurting people to go back to a life that offers little to no happiness. 

She and her bodyguard entered the elevator. Once he tapped the button and the doors closed, Chrisjen leaned her back against the wall with a sigh. Reaching a hand to her shoulder, she tried to rub out the knots forming in the muscles there. 

"Rough day?" Her guard asked. 

"Aren't they all?" She glanced to him with a weary half smile. He only nodded. 

Despite Caleb Ghazi only recently coming to work for her, Chrisjen already trusted him more than most of the people around her. He was sharp, loyal, and damn good with a weapon. He was also Cotyar's younger brother, which instantly put him on the short list of people she liked. 

The elevator opened and Caleb stepped out first, as he always did. Chrisjen followed and the two headed down the long hallway to her large office. 

After a moment of quiet Caleb asked, "So when is the Martian coming?" 

For the first time that day, Chrisjen smiled openly, though she immediately schooled her expression into something less enthusiastic. "Day after tomorrow," she answered. 

She looked over to see Caleb watching her with raised eyebrows. "Stop," Chrisjen told him. 

"You deserve a break." He added, "And if Cotyar was right, she's a good companion." When she looked at him quizzically, he told her, "He mentioned her in a couple of his messages from when you were on the _Rocinante_." 

"I didn't know he sent any messages." Chrisjen was instantly interested. Cotyar had been one the closest confidants she'd ever had. 

Caleb nodded. "And I quote, 'The Martian is a total hardass, I don't completely trust her, but Avasarala does.'" 

"What else did he say?" 

"He said she put you at ease," Caleb answered. "And now that I know you, I understand that is a feat indeed." 

One corner of Chrisjen's lips quirked at that. Bobbie had been her only source of calm aboard the _Roci_. She recalled the frustration and discomfort of being in space, not being able to tell day from night and vise versa, pent up in small spaces with none of the normalcy she was accustomed to.

She and Bobbie had talked endlessly to pass the time. They talked about everything - family, their planets, their jobs, their passions. She taught Chrisjen how to shoot a weapon, but not before teaching her how to disassemble and reassemble it because the marine insisted that a person had no business firing a weapon they didn't understand. Chrisjen taught Bobbie a few Earther card games and read to her often. 

They'd grown quite close during their time on the _Rocinante_. Chrisjen had an almost immediate respect for Bobbie. After all, she'd risked everything for the truth, risked being forever alienated from her people and her planet, to follow a woman she barely knew halfway across the Sol because she needed to know the truth. 

However, by the time their journey on the _Roci_ had ended, Chrisjen's respect had unexpectedly grown into something more. It wasn't until Bobbie's reinstatement had successfully gone through and she was set to return to Mars that Chrisjen even dared admit to herself why she didn't want to let the young woman go. Somewhere along the way, Bobbie Draper had captured her heart and, try as she may, Chrisjen was unable to take it back. 

She hadn't meant to ask her to come to Earth. It just came out on a whim. She missed her more than she thought she would and every conversation over the comms with Bobbie made Chrisjen miss her more until the invitation left her mouth of its own accord. It wasn't fair for her to ask, she knew, but when Bobbie said yes, she definitely wasn't taking back the invitation. 

Chrisjen was brought from her musings when Caleb opened the door to her office, poking his head in before pushing the door open widely for her to enter. 

"Try to relax," Caleb said. "You've got about twenty minutes." 

He closed the door and she was finally alone. Instead of relaxing, Chrisjen went to her desk. With a few swipes on her console, she double checked all the arrangements. Cafe with the best view of the ocean, check. Confirm that the chef is cooking all the Earth dishes she had promised to share with Bobbie, check. Pick up her favorite sari from the cleaner, the one with the most elaborate Indian embroidery, check. 

Chrisjen was unconsciously grinning to herself as she ran through her list. There was an anticipation that had been building inside her since Bobbie had told her that she had been granted a week of leave. Her staff knew she was taking a personal day, though Caleb was the only one who knew why. She had to admit, it was starting to feel more like a date. But that was ridiculous. Chrisjen wasn't even sure she had romantic feelings for Bobbie, and even if she did, the age difference between them was a factor. Or was it? 

Rolling her eyes to herself, Chrisjen shook her head. She told herself to simply be happy to spend time with a close friend. 

********************

On Mars, Bobbie quickly zipped up her bag. She took a quick look around the room she was using at her brother's apartment. She was pretty sure she got everything she needed. 

An afterthought had her taking rushed steps to the bathroom. With a huff, she grabbed the plastic bag she'd left by the sink. The bag contained pills that would help her adjust to Earth's gravity and she most definitely did not want to leave it behind. She didn't want any kind of discomfort distracting her while she was on the surface. Coming back to the bed, Bobbie unzipped her bag, slipped the meds inside and closed it again. Grabbing the bag, she came into the living area. 

In the kitchen, Bobbie went to make something to eat before she left. She heated up a meal and sat down to eat. Her brother, Benji, was already at the table. 

Finishing a bite, he asked, "Where are you going again?" 

Chewing quickly, Bobbie answered, "Just out to the dunes for a few days." It was a lie, but the last thing she needed was her brother lecturing her. 

Glancing to her things in the living room, he commented, "You need your uniform for that?" 

Following his gaze, Bobbie grew irritated. "I want to be ready if I get called back." That wasn't entirely a lie. "What does it matter?" 

"I've just never known you to ask for leave." 

"I've been working a lot since I got back," she deflected, not elaborating. 

"Whatever," Benji shot back, also irritated. 

They hadn't been getting along, not since Bobbie's return from the Rocinante and Avasarala. He was fiercely loyal to the MMC and had refused to believe much of what Bobbie told him about Mars' role in the protomolecule scandal. It had brought tension into their relationship that was never there before. 

The worst part was he was beginning to question her loyalty to the Corp. Everything Bobbie had ever done was for the Corp and for family and both seemed to be rejecting her. But for Benji to question her made her downright angry. Ever since she'd put in for leave, he had been asking her where she was going, seeming to not trust her. Granted, she was deceiving him so she couldn't be too upset with him. 

With a sigh, Bobbie rushed through her meal. After cleaning up, she slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up the garment bag that held her uniform. 

Turning to him, she announced, "I'm leaving. I'll be back in a week." 

When he didn't respond, she shook her head and went to the door. Just as she opened it and was about to slip out, Benji called to her, "Hey!" Turning back to him, he told Bobbie in a softer tone, "Have a good time okay." 

With the smallest smile for her brother, she said a simple, "Thanks," before leaving. 

Bobbie practically ran through the labyrinth of hallways that was the massive housing building they lived in. If she didn't hurry, she'd miss her transport, and if she missed her transport, she missed her one shot at getting to Earth and back within her allotted leave time. 

Coming to an elevator, she smashed the button repeatedly. The door opened and she was about to step inside when she stopped short. It was full. 

"Fuck," she whispered harshly, stepping back. 

The door closed and she mashed the button again. She was getting concerned about the time. Unable to stand still, Bobbie bounced unceasingly on her toes. The door opened to only a few people. She jumped inside and pushed the correct button. 

The elevator car began to move quickly and Bobbie breathed out a sigh of relief. She could feel the speed it moved with and when the elevator switched from a vertical path to a horizontal one, the bag on her shoulder almost fell off. It seems to take forever, but the door finally opened to a large, open platform. 

Stepping out, Bobbie turned in the right direction without hesitation. Her steps were long and fast and her heart was pounding. She looked up to check the digital signs she was passing under. 

"Come on, come on," she spoke under her breath. 

Finally, she saw it. Bright orange letters that read _Luna Station_ pointed her in the right direction. She pulled out the data pad that contained her ticket. Resisting the urge to push her way to the front of the line, Bobbie waited patiently. 

When her turn came, she showed her ticket to the attendant. He glanced at her ticket, then at her, then back again, and again. Shit, she thought, did he recognize her name? Was he another Earth hater holding a grudge against her? Just as she felt her body tensing, the man tapped his pad and waved her through. 

Moving quickly, Bobbie made her way onto the transport. Finding her seat, she stowed her bags and sat down. Checking the clock, Bobbie saw that she had made it just in time. Only a few moments later an announcement came over the ship's system, telling the passengers to secure themselves and their belongings. 

Soon, Bobbie felt the familiar vibration of being aboard ship. Once the ship had moved out of its docking station, the countdown began blinking on various screens throughout the ship. With a relaxed breath, Bobbie leaned her head back. _Three_ , the screens beeped and she heard a few nervous passengers breathe out hard. _Two_ , Bobbie consciously relaxed her muscles, knowing it would help with the Gs. _One_ , with a loud rumble, the transport erupted up and into the Martian sky. It bumped and jolted, slightly tossing them all around. The less experienced space travelers let out some frightened noises and Bobbie could only smile to herself. She was never more comfortable than when she was on a spaceship. Despite the bumpy ride, Bobbie's mind locked onto a memory of another time she'd watched a very nervous person launching into space, grasping the hand of her body guard for dear life. 

After a few minutes of high acceleration, the unsteady ride began to smooth. Another few minutes later, Bobbie felt her loose hair begin to float around her face. Zero G. 

She pulled her data pad out of her pocket. With a tap, she pulled up her messages and began a new one. She only had to type " _Ch_ " for the right contact. When she saw " _To: Chrisjen Avasarala_ ," Bobbie happily typed " _On my way. See you soon_ ," and sent the message. 

Putting the pad away, Bobbie allowed herself to sit back and felt the anticipation setting in. She couldn't get too excited just yet. It took slightly over two days to get to Earth on one of these transports. Factoring in the travel time, Bobbie was hoping to get a solid forty-eight hours with Avasarala. She settled in, preparing for the long trip. 

********************

Bobbie paced slowly across the small lobby and back again. Being on a UNN ship made her nervous and she didn't want to sit down. She'd picked up her exchange to the UNN ship on Luna Station several hours earlier. This is the ship that would take her straight to the UN building in, what was it? New York? 

This ship was much faster than the cargo transport and Bobbie was happy that she was on the tail end of her trip. Only a few more hours and she would be on Earth, with Avasa… Chrisjen, she kept having to remind herself. Nervousness was creeping its way in. 

Without the angst and drama of certain death hanging over them, would the same connection still be there? Bobbie dismissed the thought, remembering all that travel time together on the _Roci_ without a ship around for light years. That's where the connection had been forged, in the quiet times. The tiniest smile crossed Bobbie's lips as memories floated to the forefront of her mind. The times she has spent teaching Chrisjen weapon safety and proper handling. After all, if the Secretary General was going to galavant all over the Sol, she'd better know how to keep herself safe. Dinners together in their quarters, swapping stories from their childhoods, and Bobbie's favorite times, when Chrisjen would read to her until she fell asleep. 

She admired Chrisjen Avasarala, no doubt. What wasn't there to admire? She was powerful, smart, successful, confident, and damn gorgeous. She could command a room of politicians, or soldiers, or both. People respected her. But Bobbie knew she was lucky to see another side of Chrisjen, a gentle, caring, and deep side.

There was no question that at some point Bobbie couldn't quite identify, admiration had turned to attraction. She knew it the first time on the _Roci_ when she couldn't take her eyes off Chrisjen as she got ready for bed. She was convinced the feelings would pass, especially once they were on different planets. But with every long distance communication and every radiant smile Chrisjen flashed at her, Bobbie's feelings for the woman were only solidified. 

Of course, it was silly to think they could be anything other than friends. Wasn't it? After all, what would someone like Chrisjen see in someone like her? Still, there had been so many affectionate moments that passed between them. Bobbie recalled all the times Chrisjen had taken her hand, rubbed her shoulder encouragingly, or given her the loosest side hug. But Chrisjen was an affectionate person. She was kind and affirming to everyone on the Rocinante, often with a pat on the back, so Bobbie told herself not to think there was anything special about her. 

Suddenly, an announcement came over the ship's speakers, pulling Bobbie from her thoughts. They were landing soon. Bobbie grinned slyly to herself. Time to rock the boat a little. 

She got up and went to where her things were stowed. Pulling out her garment bag, Bobbie found an empty room to change in. After several minutes, she checked herself in a mirror. She always looked sharp in her dress uniform. Not to mention, she knew it would ruffle some Earther feathers and she couldn't pass up that opportunity. She smoothed out her hair, making sure the bun it was pulled back into was secure. Tugging on the uniform to straighten it, she came out of the room to put her things away. 

Not acknowledging anyone, Bobbie saw a few heads turning toward her in her peripheral vision. The UNN ship was full of diplomats and military personnel. Bobbie didn't care about the looks. She was proud to be Martian and she wanted everyone to know it. She just hoped it wasn't too much for Chrisjen. She had meant for it to impress the woman.

Before long, they were given the notice to strap in for atmospheric entry. Bobbie had taken the gravity meds a few hours before and she was glad she did. The ship's thrusters went to work, steering them toward the correct trajectory. As the minutes passed, Bobbie felt Earth's gravity getting heavier. 

Soon, it felt as if an unseen force was pushing her into the floor and she fought to keep her eyes open, not wanting anyone to think it was getting to her. She'd done this before, after all, she would be fine. The next thing she knew, the ship landed with a jolt. 

All the Earthers quickly began to unbuckle and collect their things. Bobbie took her time. As she stood, her body felt much heavier and her stomach flipped. After a few deep breaths, she began to adjust. She heard the door open down the hallway. It was time and suddenly Bobbie's stomach flipped for another reason. She hadn't seen Chrisjen for so long. She was thrilled and terrified. 

She shoved her garment bag into her duffle and slung it over her shoulder. After another breath to center herself, Bobbie headed for the door. The warm air began to waft over her as she approached the exit. The sun hit her feet first and, with each step, she felt its heat envelope her body. It was inviting. 

For the second time in her life, Bobbie Draper squinted as Earth's bright sky stung her eyes.


	3. The Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, some quality time. Not without interruption for our space ladies, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've mucked up the timeline a bit with the Ring's appearance, etc, but let's just go with it.

Holding her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun, Bobbie slowly exited the ship. The door closed behind her, but she stood in place. Being outside without a vac suit was disorienting to say the least. Lowering her hand, she blinked until her eyes adjusted to the bright light. Bobbie breathed in deep and felt the fresh air fill her lungs. A breeze caught her skin, cooling it. 

She was surprised to hear a voice asking, "Sergeant Draper?" 

She glanced up to see a young man in civilian clothes looking at her. A simple nod was all she could manage. She was still getting her bearings. 

"I work with the Secretary General. I'll take you to her." When he saw Bobbie struggling to simply stand up straight, he politely took her bag. "Let me get that for you." She didn't want help, but she gladly accepted it, letting the bag slip off her shoulder. "Take your time. I hear looking at the horizon helps." 

At that, Bobbie rolled her eyes a bit. Earthers. Forcing herself to straighten, she said, "Thank you. I'm good." 

"Right this way." 

He began to walk and Bobbie silently cursed how easy the steps were for him. She moved her feet forward, thinking that it shouldn't be this hard. It felt as if every ounce of Earth's air was pressing down on her. He was right though. Bobbie kept her eyes up, taking in steady breathes and the discomfort began to subside. 

They made their way across the landing pad and toward the tall glass building of the United Nations of Earth. Bobbie hazarded a look around. The sky was so blue, with big, puffy white clouds. It was strange and beautiful. The buildings were shiny with lots of glass windows. They weren't cold and foreboding like the buildings on Mars. They weren't built only for sturdiness and function, but they had an aesthetic to them as well that made the skyline attractive. Bobbie watched how the sunlight played off the glass. 

When they came to the entryway, the man held the door open for Bobbie. As she came inside she was met with several stunned looks. The place was crawling with military officers and they all had their eyes glued to her. Maybe the uniform wasn't the best idea. 

The man seemed not to notice that half the people in the lobby had stopped their business to look at them. "This way," he told her. Shaking off her nerves, Bobbie followed him. "How was your trip?" 

"It was fine," she answered. She didn't like small talk, especially with strangers and definitely not with Earther strangers. She just wanted to get to Chrisjen. "Where is the Secretary General?" 

"She got stuck in a briefing, but she asked me to bring you to her when you got here." They came to an elevator and he pushed the button. "The generals in that room are going to love seeing you." The sarcasm was evident in his tone. 

At the same moment, the elevator door opened, but Bobbie ignored it. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She shot back, voice hard. 

The slight grin he was wearing faded as he realized he'd offended her. Holding up his hands he said, "Sorry." A moment passed when neither of them moved and the elevator door closed. "Look," he said, "I'm glad you're here. She's been looking forward to seeing you for days." 

Bobbie relaxed, reminding herself that she didn't have to keep her guard up. At least, not all the way up. 

The man spoke again. "Let's start over." He held out his hand. "Caleb Ghazi." 

Bobbie's brow knit in surprise at the name. "Ghazi?" 

Realizing she recognized it, he confirmed, "Cotyar Ghazi was my brother." 

Lips slowly parting, Bobbie finally took the offered hand, giving it a firm shake. "It's an honor," she said, feeling a pang of guilt for her defensiveness. "Cotyar was a good man, and a damn good soldier." She released his hand. 

With a kind smile, he pushed the button to call the elevator again. "I know the last time you were here, it wasn't under the best circumstances." Bobbie nodded. "People's ideas about Martians are changing though." 

"Really?" She asked, skeptically, as the elevator opened again and they stepped inside. 

"Avasarala can be convincing," he answered. 

Bobbie breathed out a chuckle. "She certainly can." She had to admit, she liked the idea of Chrisjen advocating so fiercely for Mars. "So what do you do for her?"

"Head of security." 

Lifting her eyebrows, Bobbie understood that Caleb must be pretty important to Chrisjen. The elevator dinged their arrival and the door opened. They both moved to get out first, awkwardly stepping back. Ushering her with his hand, Bobbie stepped out. She followed Caleb down the hall to a set of double doors. He put his hand on the knob to open it. 

"Wait," Bobbie said quickly. A sudden wave of anxiety swept over her. Six months. They hadn't been in the same room for six months. What if this was a terrible idea? What if she came here hoping for something, though she didn't know quite what, that turned out to be ridiculous? What if she and Chrisjen were on a completely different page and the bond between them had eroded with time and space? 

Her heart was racing. She remembered what Caleb had said - she's been looking forward to seeing you for days. Exhaling slowly, she met his gaze, appreciating his patience. She gave him a nod and he opened the door. 

Slowly and quietly the two entered the conference room unseen. There were several military officers and a few civilians there. A bright projection rose over the circular table in the center of the room. Bobbie recognized it as the surface of Venus. Someone was talking, but she wasn't listening. She scanned the room until her eyes found what they were looking for. 

Chrisjen Avasarala. She slowly took in air, reminding herself to breathe, as every insecurity that had been running through her brain dissipated. Suddenly, all that mattered was that she was here. 

Chrisjen was stunning. Her dark hair was pulled back into a precise twist and she was wearing one of her trademark saris, though Bobbie certainly noticed that this one was particularly grand. Bobbie watched as Chrisjen took slow steps around the table, taking in what her advisors were telling her. Her fingers were fiddling with the gold necklace she had on and her eyes were intently focused on the projection. No one carried themselves like she did. Chin up and confident, back straight and strong, she almost looked as if she was floating. 

From the corner of her eye, Bobbie saw Caleb raise his hand a bit, inconspicuously catching the Secretary General's attention. 

Chrisjen looked over. A slow smile came to her lips as she met Bobbie's eyes. Her pacing stopped and her face brightened. Bobbie saw the shift in her demeanor and couldn't help the slight quirk of her own lips. 

"Sergeant Draper," Chrisjen said, tone soft, interrupting the person talking. 

All eyes turned to Bobbie and she stood up straighter, expression serious again. Several sets of eyes looked her up and down and she tried to stay focused on Chrisjen. "Ma'am," she returned. 

Then Chrisjen walked quickly up to her, smile still in place. She held out a hand and Bobbie instinctively took it. "You all remember Sergeant Draper." She squeezed and then released Bobbie's hand. "The Martian marine that was so instrumental in keeping Earth safe from the protomolecule, not to mention, saving my life." 

Bobbie glanced around to mixed expressions. Some seemed disapproving, others actually looked happy to see her. Either way, it made her feel uncomfortable. "Have you seen this?" Bobbie's attention was drawn back to Chrisjen. She was pointing toward the projection. 

Bobbie studied the image and quickly recognized the Eros crater, but something was different. "Has there been a change?" Her discomfort was forgotten as curiosity took over. She unconsciously moved closer to the table. 

"Yes," Chrisjen answered. "It happened while you were traveling." 

A dust cloud had formed above the crater, as if something inside the crater was kicking up the dirt. The blue light was getting brighter. Squinting her eyes, Bobbie examined the image.

"What do you make of it?" Chrisjen asked. 

One of her generals spoke up. "I don't mean any disrespect, Madam Secretary, but what does the opinion of a Martian-" 

Chrisjen held her hand up, silencing him. As if she didn't even hear, Bonnie answered, "It looks like something's moving around down there." 

With a nod, Chrisjen confirmed, "We thought so too." 

One of the aides leaned forward and pointed to a spot on the image, explaining to Bobbie, "The Arboghast was being held in suspension here, right above the crater." 

"Now it's gone," Chrisjen finished. 

Taking a moment to absorb the new information, understanding dawned on Bobbie. "You think the crater is active?" She looked to Chrisjen who only gave her a slow nod. "What does that mean?" 

"That is the million dollar question," she answered, and Bobbie randomly thought of how much she had missed Chrisjen's accent. 

"We need to send the navy," one general interjected. 

"We need to stay the hell away," another said. 

Bobbie watched in amusement as Chrisjen rolled her eyes. "Enough," she stated. "We've gone around and around. We will wait until there's further development." Suddenly, everyone clammered at once to be heard. Bobbie's eyebrows lifted at the display. Chrisjen held up a hand and repeated firmly, "Enough. Everyone out." 

Still protesting, they began to file out as Caleb held the door open for them. Bobbie's eyes were pinned to Chrisjen's, not noticing the annoyed glances. Caleb left Bobbie's bag by the door and quietly closed it on his own way out.

Finally, Bobbie thought. She was thrilled when, with a bright smile, Chrisjen reached her arms around Bobbie's shoulders to pull her into a hug. Her hands lay lightly at Chrisjen's hips until she felt the tightness of the woman's embrace. When Chrisjen didn't let go, she slipped her arms around the small body and pulled them together, holding onto her just as tightly. 

Now this was more like it. Bobbie recognized Chrisjen's soft scent and forced herself to resist the urge to bury her nose in the crook of her neck. Her heart was beating hard and she hoped Chrisjen couldn't feel it. She focused on the feel of this woman in her arms. When they eventually released each other, they exchanged a warm look. 

"I'm sorry you had to do that," Chrisjen said. "I wanted to meet you on the landing pad." 

"It's okay." The easy rapport instantly settled between them again. She couldn't help her eyes from slipping down Chrisjen's body and back up. She truly looked exquisite. "You look really great," Bobbie said. 

Chrisjen took a step back, appraising her. She reached out to straighten one of the lapels on Bobbie's dress uniform. "And you look very dashing in this uniform." Bobbie silently applauded her earlier decision, happy her uniform had the desired effect. 

They watched each other for a long moment. After so many conversations had across space, with only a screen to bring them together, seeing each other in person was somewhat surreal. Bobbie still couldn't quite believe she was here, on Earth, with Chrisjen right in front of her. 

"It's so good to see you," Bobbie said quietly. 

With a nod, the older woman agreed. "It really is."  
She began to move toward the door. "Come with me to my office. I want to show you something." 

Bobbie picked her bag back up at the door and opened the door for Chrisjen. They began to walk down the hallway, talking easily about Bobbie's trip. When the Secretary General of the UN linked her arm with the young marine's, Bobbie felt a familiar instinct to care for this woman. She walked slowly, keeping Chrisjen's casual pace, taking in every comment and every smile she offered Bobbie. 

When they came to her large office and went inside, Chrisjen led her across the room to one of the many large windows along the outer wall. Bobbie inhaled sharply at the sight, her lips parting. Her hand lifted to rest on the window as if the position would somehow bring her closer. 

The ocean. She thought it must be the entire ocean, as it went on forever, seeming to have no end. Her eyes darted from one side of the view to the other, trying to grasp the enormity of what she was seeing. It was massive and blue and beautiful. The sun reflected off the waves, dancing as the wind moved the water, making the surface look as if it were sparkling, a grand mix of blues and golds. She knew she could have stared for hours. 

Tearing her eyes from the water, Bobbie turned her head to see Chrisjen watching her with a look of complete affection. Attempting to school her fascination, Bobbie removed her hand from the glass and closed her mouth, slightly embarrassed at her childlike wonder. 

She cleared her throat. "It's beautiful." 

Chrisjen looked out the window herself. "You were right. We do take it for granted." She looked back to Bobbie and the young woman found herself trapped in that chestnut gaze. She had only seen this soft expression a few times and, damn, if it didn't make Chrisjen seem like the most gorgeous person she'd ever known. "I'm so glad you're here." 

Bobbie swallowed hard, blinking a couple of times to ground herself and try to break the spell Chrisjen so effortlessly weaved over her. "Me too," was the only response her brain could string together. 

Finally putting some distance between them, Chrisjen went to her desk. She leaned over to quickly dismiss a few messages on her monitor. "I don't know what your plans are while you're here, but I think you'll enjoy the dinner I have arranged." 

"I don't know if I should be terrified or excited," Bobbie joked. 

"Probably both." Grabbing her hand, Chrisjen pulled her back to the door. "Come on. If I don't leave now, I might never get out of here." 

Opening the door, the two slipped back into the hallway. Hearing voices, they glanced down the hall. Caleb was there, holding his hand up, blocking two generals from making their way to Chrisjen's office. He was clearly getting frustrated with them. Bobbie suddenly gained a new appreciation for the head of security. 

"Is it always like this," Bobbie asked, "people banging down your door?" 

Chrisjen huffed. "Worse. These goddamn idiots can't do a thing for themselves." She turned a corner and began leading them out of the building. 

A few minutes later, they were back outside, flanked by two guards. Bobbie realized that Chrisjen was constantly surrounded by security, constantly surrounded by people in general. It must be suffocating, she thought. She didn't have too much time to think about it, as a blacked out vehicle with UN flags attached pulled up to them. 

******************** 

Bobbie couldn't remember the last time she was so at ease. She shouldn't be. She was on a strange planet with an uncomfortable gravity. People kept looking at her in her Martian uniform as if she were out of place, and she was out of place, she knew. Still, none of that mattered. 

Chrisjen Avasarala was telling stories from her childhood, laughing every once in a while at a particular memory. Bobbie was mesmerized, unable to keep her smile in check. 

"I'm sorry," Chrisjen said, suddenly. "I must be so boring to you." 

"Are you kidding?" Bobbie gave a small shake of her head. "I can't tell you how much I've missed your stories." 

Just then, the waiter came to their table for the dozenth time with yet another dish, setting it down between the women. The place Chrisjen had brought her was amazing. It had been built into the massive seawall that went all around Manhattan island. Many of the restaurants at the seawall had outdoor patios overlooking the ocean. That's where they were now, sitting so close to the ocean that Bobbie could hear the water. A steady breeze blew over them and it was like nothing she'd ever felt before. 

Bobbie had never been outside like this in her life. The wind blew on Mars, sure, but humans simply couldn't be outside without a vac suit so she'd never been able to feel the wind. The sensation was unexpected, leaving her skin invigorated. The air seemed to be everywhere. She felt it blowing through her clothes and around her face. It blew the tiny hairs at the base of her neck, almost tickling her. It was so energizing. 

"And what's this one?" Bobbie inquired about this new food. It smelled wonderful and different from the rest. 

Chrisjen passed her a fork. "Now this you will love."

Bobbie believed her since she'd loved every new food that has been put in front of her. The tastes had been overwhelming. Real cheese and real meat. She honestly hadn't even known if she truly believed these foods existed. Everything on Mars was synthetic, except the plants. Synthetic beef and chicken, synthetic cheese and butter, and powdered everything. The first bite of lasagna had sent her brain into overload. 

"I don't know if I can take much more," Bobbie commented. "No wonder Earth's soldiers are so fucking slow." She chuckled when Chrisjen playfully poked her with her fork. 

"Alright," Chrisjen said. "This is authentic New York cheesecake." 

"Cheese cake," Bobbie repeated. "How many kinds of cheese are there?" She asked sarcastically. 

With a grin, Chrisjen answered, "Too many. But creamed cheese is different. Come on, try it." 

Bobbie cut the smallest bite with the end of her fork. Taking the bite, she slowly pulled the fork from her lips. Blinking, she felt her mouth water at the taste. It was sweet and creamy and the sensations on her tongue went straight to her brain and she actually felt the briefest dizzying effect. 

Swallowing, she almost whispered, "Holy fuck." 

Chrisjen laughed openly and took her own bite. "Mmm," she hummed. "Wonderful." 

They sat contentedly for several moments, eating cheesecake and looking at the ocean. Bobbie didn't think it could get any better. These last few hours were the happiest she'd had in many long months. It was like she and Chrisjen had never been apart. They talked easily and Bobbie was grateful to be able to share the details of her life with someone again. 

"Are you adjusting to the gravity alright?" 

Bobbie was broken from her thoughts by the question. "Yeah. It feels strange though. Heavy. Everything seems to take more effort." 

"They say that gets better with time." 

"Time will never make my bones as dense as yours, or my organs as strong," Bobbie said flatly. "I might get used to it, but I certainly wasn't born an Earther." 

Chrisjen reached over and gently covered Bobbie's hand with her own. "And yet, this is where your history lies." 

Bobbie stayed silent. She should say something, something to uphold her Martian honor. Something about Mars' history. It truly was a rich history, but somehow sitting here Bobbie couldn't help but think that Chrisjen was right. 

"Let's go for a walk," the Secretary suggested. 

"I pretty sure I'm actually stuck in this chair," Bobbie teased. 

Chrisjen stood and easily reached over to take her hand. All it took was a light tug for Bobbie to bend to her will. She stood to follow, disappointed when her hand was released. 

Bobbie found herself being led along the sea wall to what she realized was one of several exits that opened out to the waterfront, much like the one she had discovered that fateful day when she first met this wonder of a woman. This one, however, opened up to a long, wide boardwalk. 

Behind them, Bobbie heard one of the many security guards that had been with them all afternoon speak up, "Ma'am, we haven't secured this area." He moved with quick steps to block her way, holding up a hand. 

Stopping only for a second, Chrisjen replied cooly, "Then you better fucking secure it." 

The guard's face hardened with annoyance and Bobbie had a feeling that this wasn't the first time the General Secretary had tested her security team's patience. Giving in, he turned and waved to the others. They began to fan out across the boardwalk, ushering civilians back to the other side of the seawall. Chrisjen smirked to Bobbie's amusement. 

"They mean well," she said. 

"They're only trying to do their job," Bobbie responded. "I have a feeling you don't always make it easy." 

"Now why would you think that?" She flashed a mischievous look and Bobbie shook her head with a grin.

They took their time, walking slowly down the pier. Chrisjen slipped her arm to link with Bobbie's as she had earlier that day. Bobbie felt a flutter inside and couldn't help but cover Chrisjen's hand with her own while they walked. The breeze blew gently over them. Bobbie risked a sideways glance toward her companion. She tried to be inconspicuous, lest she be caught staring. The look on Chrisjen's face calmed the nerves that she had been wrestling with all day. She seemed so at ease, with the smallest lift of her lips, shoulders finally relaxed rather than squared as they constantly had to be. Bobbie loved the notion that she just might be the cause of Chrisjen's content. 

They reached the end of the pier and Bobbie finally let her eyes look forward again. She let out the smallest gasp, and was glad the sound of the ocean covered it. The sight before her was like nothing she'd ever seen. Every day spent in space with an endless blanket of stars to look at, gaseous nebulas that gave off the most beautiful mix of colors in the galaxy, Bobbie had seen pristine views of almost every planet in the Sol from each one's own atmosphere and they were all marvelous, but this was the most breathtaking sight she had ever observed. 

An endless sea of blue lay before her, connecting in the farthest distance to an expanse of deep blue sky. Suddenly everything Chrisjen had ever said about Earth's beauty made sense to her. Whether a person was born on Earth, Mars, the Belt, or the outer planets didn't matter. Every person was from here, tied to this planet. Whitecap waves broke the surface and Bobbie felt the lightest spray from the water on her face. 

The wind, the water, and the sound quickly became too much to process. The waves played tricks on her eyes and the pier moved with the sway of the ocean. Bobbie found herself losing the horizon. She reached out instinctively to steady herself, lightheaded from the sensory overload. She caught the rail and gulped in air. Chrisjen was beside her, a comforting hand on her back. Bobbie was grateful she didn't make a big deal out of it. She closed her eyes, balancing herself. 

After several deep breaths, the disorientation passed and she opened her eyes again. She met Chrisjen's concerned gaze and realized Chrisjen had moved to cover the hand she still had clutching the railing. 

"Are you alright?" Chrisjen asked. Feeling a slight embarrassment at the inability to even herself on this planet, Bobbie simply nodded. "We can go back."

"No." Bobbie quickly replied. "I don't want to." She looked back out to the water, finally steady. "I've never seen anything like this." Chrisjen shifted to follow her gaze and the two stayed there, watching the water together. 

After a moment, Bobbie glanced down to their hands, Chrisjen's still holding hers, and she drew boldness from the contact. 

Looking to the woman beside her, Bobbie asked, "Why did you ask me to come here?" 

She didn't know why she expected a straight answer and wasn't the least bit surprised when Chrisjen answered a question with a question. "Why did you say yes?" 

A dozen reasons ran through the Martian's mind - _because you're the only one I can be myself around_ , and _because you make me feel like I can do anything_ , and even _because the time I've spent with you has been the best time of my life._

But she could only say, "Because I missed you." She hoped Chrisjen knew her well enough to know all the words she wasn't saying. 

"I missed you too." 

It was barely spoken above a whisper and Bobbie heard the sincere emotion behind the words. This was it. Now or never. If they had a shot, they had to take it now. Who knows when they would see each other again and Bobbie couldn't take any more months apart without Chrisjen knowing how she felt. 

She released her grip on the railing of the pier and moved her hands to grasp Chrisjen's waist. She pulled slightly, bringing them close together, thinking her heart might explode with how wild it was beating. Chrisjen's eyes widened a little, but she didn't move to break the contact. In fact, her hands slipped up along Bobbie's arms finding a place to rest at her shoulders. 

The second Bobbie thought this couldn't be happening, she saw the smallest flick of Chrisjen's dark eyes down to her lips and back up. Then Chrisjen's hands were around her neck, fingers pulling her closer. Bobbie wrapped her arms further around her until they were a breath apart, frozen, holding each other. 

They were both already breathing heavy. Bobbie was terrified she was doing the wrong thing. That, even now, while they were standing like this, so close that even the ocean breeze couldn't come between them, she was somehow misinterpreting something and making a horrible mistake that would drive Chrisjen away. But Chrisjen set her mind at ease. 

Taking the lead, Chrisjen pulled Bobbie into her. Eyes slipping closed, their lips met. It was tentative and light, but Bobbie still saw fireworks exploding behind her closed eyelids nonetheless. They came apart almost as quickly as they had come together, staring at each other. 

Wanting nothing more than to kiss her, really kiss her, Bobbie let out a hushed, "Chrisjen." 

It was all the encouragement the other woman needed. With a hand at her jawline, Chrisjen barely grazed her thumb across Bobbie's bottom lip, leaving goosebumps running all over the marine. _Fuck_ , Bobbie thought, _I'm done for._

She leaned in, and this time there was nothing tentative about it. The two women pressed into each other. Chrisjen was soft and firm all at once, holding onto her tightly and somehow kissing her gently. Their lips separated only for them to take a breath and come back together. The flush that spread through Bobbie clouded her mind. 

She applied a bit pressure in her enthusiastiasm and the small of Chrisjen's back bumped the railing. She hooked her arms around Bobbie's shoulders and kissed her harder. Bobbie responded, parting her lips and deepening their kisses. The contact was intoxicating and Bobbie was unable to suppress the quiet moan that came from the back of her throat. When the sound seemed to spur Chrisjen's hands to wander, she didn't try to stop it again. 

Suddenly, the wind gusted around them, catching the fabric of Chrisjen's sari, threatening to carry it away. Pulling apart, Bobbi reached on instinct to tame the garment, wrapping it back around the woman tenderly, letting her hands stay at Chrisjen's waist, refusing to give up contact. They finally looked at each other. There was no timidity in their expressions, no apology, and no shame. There was only an unshakable feeling of inevitability, like it was meant to happen here, like this. 

Chrisjen's hands had settled at Bobbie's chest and she leaned down one more time to capture a kiss. She was thrilled when she opened her eyes to see that Chrisjen's were still closed with an almost imperceptible smile, like she was savoring the moment. 

When she did open her eyes, it was followed by that gorgeous full smile that Bobbie loved.

"If you'd just told me you wanted to kiss me, I would've come a long time ago," Bobbie joked. 

Laughing lightly, the other woman moved to draw them together again when a loud beeping interrupted them. "Shit," Chrisjen hissed. She reached under her wrap to pull her comm pad out. "That's the emergency alert." 

Bobbie cursed the damn thing. The mood effectively broken, she let her hands fall away from Chrisjen's body. She watched intently as the Secretary checked the screen. She observed the change in her expression as it morphed into worry. "Eros," was all she said. 

Just then, Bobbie's own comm pad sounded from inside her jacket pocket. She brought it out and quickly saw an urgent alert. "It's the MMC," she told Chrisjen. A video feed played across the small screen. "What the hell is that?" 

The two women glanced to each other's devices and back again as each one displayed the same image. Something was rising from the Eros crater. They stood there, confused as to what it might be. 

Looking up, Bobbie saw two of Chrisjen's security team rushing down the pier. When they reached them, one said, "Ma'am, the joint chiefs are asking for you." 

She was clearly torn and apologetic as she looked at Bobbie, but Bobbie didn't hesitate. "Let's go," she said, certainly understanding that duty came first. Resolve replaced worry and Chrisjen began to quickly lead them back down the boardwalk. 

********************

They were in Chrisjen's office in record time. The room was lit up with a large projection of whatever the hell was lifting off the surface of Venus. It was massive and round, like a ring. Built from the remnants of Eros station, one couldn't miss the distinctive blue protomolecule glow. The oddest thing was the barrier that seemed to fill the whole of the ring's middle. 

"What the hell is it?" One of Chrisjen's generals asked, slightly amazed, slightly terrified. 

"Nothing good," Chrisjen answered, gaze glued to the image. "Where is it going?" 

"Out into space, away from the sun," someone replied. 

"Is it weaponized?" 

Yet another answered, "There's no way to know that yet, Madam Secretary." 

Bobbie stood practically at attention, an unconscious habit when around so many military personnel. Her brow furrowed as she took in the images of the ring, trying to understand what it might be. A ship? Another station? And the most frightening thought, a protomolecule weapon of some sort? 

As she was about to take another step closer, her comm pad beeped. Stepping to the side, as to not interrupt, she pulled it out to view an alert video from the MMC. As she watched one of her commanders give an order to return home, her heart sank. She turned the message off before it was even finished and looked back to Chrisjen. It seemed something was always getting in the way of them. 

As everyone in the room became busy, attempting to contact researchers, or making phone calls for any information they could get, Bobbie slipped beside Chrisjen. 

"I have to go," she whispered. Chrisjen looked at her with a sigh and a small nod, as if she was expecting the news. "They're recalling everyone on leave." 

After a long look at each other, Chrisjen said quietly, her discouragement obvious, "I'll walk you out." 

As they moved toward the door, Bobbie retrieved her duffle bag, thinking of how she didn't even get to unpack it. They came out into the hallway and began the much too short walk to the elevator, both women heavy with disappointment. 

Bobbie's mind went back to the pier and the perfect kiss they'd shared. She could still feel the ghost of Chrisjen's hands moving over her. It took everything in her not to curse the Martian Marine Corp for calling her back. She reached over to take Chrisjen's hand as they walked, gently intertwining their fingers. 

They came to a stop in front of the elevator doors and turned to one another, neither releasing the other's hand and no one hitting the button to call the elevator. 

"You could always defect again." Chrisjen tried to make her tone playful, though she couldn't quite hide her despondency. 

"Don't tempt me," Bobbie replied, stroking her thumb across the back of Chrisjen's hand. 

With the slightest pull on her hand, Bobbie brought her closer. She leaned down to place the softest kiss on Chrisjen's lips, lingering there, memorizing the feel of Chrisjen against her. She hoped the kiss communicated the emotions she wasn't good at saying. Every cell in her body ached to stay with her, knowing that it could be more long months before she saw her again. 

Finally pulling away, Bobbie pushed the damned button and the elevator doors opened. She took backwards steps inside, not daring to take her eyes off Chrisjen, wanting to look at her for as long as possible. 

Chrisjen wrapped her arms around herself, looking concerned. "You'd better fucking come back to me," she said firmly. 

"I promise," Bobbie told her. 

The doors slid closed. Bobbie fell against the wall of the elevator car, slamming her eyes shut to fight the gathering tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting my writing chops back. Still finding Bobbie and Chrisjen's different voices. I'm a sap and it's hard for me not to make them too sappy 😏.


	4. Scraper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the months that follow the Ring Gates opening, Christen and Bobbie grow apart.

_Twelve hours after the Ring Gates opened_

Thirteen hundred traversable wormholes, connected by an unknown alien technology. A network of planetary systems that mankind had been completely unaware of… until now. 

Dozens of ships and thousands of lives lost in the last few days alone, lives from all over the Sol. No one was unaffected. Earth, Mars, the Belt, even the Outer Planet Alliance had taken terrible losses. The worst part was that no one could predict what would happen next. Was the Ring's center still hostile? If ships stayed within the Ring, were they in danger of another attack from the massive, ambiguous structure? 

That was something UN Secretary General Avasarala simply wasn't willing to risk. 

"Call them all back, now," she said firmly. 

Unlike the usual push back she got from her advisors, everyone busied themselves making contact with the right people to bring their ships home. One of her generals came beside her. 

"Ma'am, I would suggest leaving a small contingent behind," he said. "We need to keep an eye on what everyone else is doing over there." 

Every instinct told her to say no. She'd already ordered too many soldiers to their deaths. But he was right. They had to maintain the leverage they had around the Ring, lest an unforeseen change shift the balance of power, leaving the UN out in the cold.

Chrisjen gave him the slightest nod and he rushed off. Her eyes were glued to the projection in the situation room. Gates were still popping open here and there, though much less frequently than when the Ring initially released the fleet it was holding hostage. She'd been clutching her comm pad in her hand for the last several hours. Glancing down to it for the hundredth time, she sighed, frustrated. Still no response from Bobbie. 

She had sent a message eight hours ago. Taking the time delay into account, it was possible that even if Bobbie had already replied, Chrisjen may still have a while to wait. The anxiety she was feeling threatened to break her constant resolve. She wanted her fleet home, now. They didn't even have accurate numbers of their fatalities yet. She wanted to know what the fuck was happening inside the Ring. What the hell were these gates anyway? What happened with Holden? Was this thing here to destroy them all? Then the nagging question that kept coming to the forefront of her mind - was Bobbie okay? 

Shaking her head, Chrisjen breathed out a ragged breath. She couldn't escape the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Another gate opened on the projection. She needed to get out of here. The pressure on her shoulders was suffocating. Attempting to school the rising frustration, she made her way out the door where Caleb moved fast to keep up with her. 

"What's happening?" He asked, his tone restless. 

She didn't mean to sound so tense when she snapped, "How the fuck do I know?" She continued walking with fast steps down the hallway. "We're hundreds of thousands of light years away." She gestured roughly with her hands, like she always did when she was angry. "Every piece of information we have is hours old by the time we get it. It's a complete clusterfuck!" 

They made it to her office and Chrisjen walked in, slamming the door shut, not letting Caleb follow her. She walked to the desk, laying the palms of her hands on the old world, mahogany surface. She leaned on her hands and took some deep breaths. She wouldn't be any good to anyone if she didn't stay grounded. Not to mention, if she was calm, the entire UN would follow suit. 

After a moment, Chrisjen stood tall. One impossible thing at a time, she told herself, recalling the unofficial motto aboard the _Rocinante._

Just then, her computer gave an incoming message alert. Shit, she thought, she probably had hundreds of messages that would need to be sifted through. But in the bottom corner, the notification read, _New Message from Bobbie Draper._

Lips parting, Chrisjen rushed around the desk, quickly swiping the screen to open the pre-recorded message. Bobbie's image came onto the screen and relief flooded over Chrisjen. 

Bobbie was wearing slacks and only a sports bra. Her hair was pulled back as if she'd just taken off her uniform. Chrisjen's eyes flew to the bandage on her torso, instantly worried. Bobbie was clearly troubled. Glancing at her surroundings, Chrisjen was confused when she realized Bobbie was on the _Roci._

"I don't know when you'll get this," Bobbie began. "And I don't know where I'll be when you do, so this might be the last time I talk to you for a while." 

Chrisjen gave an unconscious, tiny shake of her head. What was Bobbie talking about? 

"We evacuated to the _Behemoth_ , all of us." Bobbie paused. She looked down to the floor and back up. "Some things happened," she continued, "and I'll probably be court martialed for them." There was a hitch in her voice that caught Chrisjen off guard and she was filled with a need for Bobbie to fill in the massive gaps. She'd never seen the marine so vulnerable. 

"I'm with the _Roci_ crew now, but the MMC is about to board to take me into custody." 

Chrisjen involuntarily repeated the word at a whisper. "Custody?" Whatever happened must have been bad. 

Bobbie breathed out, hard. "Look." She paused again, staring at the screen. Finally, she said, "I know how impossible it is for you not to interfere." Chrisjen's expression softened as she detected the familiar tone of Bobbie's easy banter. "But you have to stay out of whatever happens next for me." 

Just then, a hard knock sounded on the video and Bobbie looked to the door. Chrisjen leaned forward in her seat, not wanting the message to end. Bobbie turned back to the screen and said, "They're here for me." Another pause and Chrisjen could see the anguish in Bobbie's eyes. There was another pounding at the door. Bobbie quickly finished the message with, "I think about that day with you on Earth all the time." She stood, coming to the camera and ending the message. 

The screen went black. Chrisjen was frozen, the rare sensation of helplessness settling on her. 

********************

_A few months after the Rings Gates opened_

The T9X 400 was a formidable missile launcher. It was designed to be the most accurate launcher in the entire Martian fleet, gracing the hulls of the newest and most advanced ships in the Martian Navy. Its only Achilles heel was that it had an incredibly intricate computer system that was hardwired into the ship by ports that required a space walk to get to. That meant that if one of them was damaged, it was nearly impossible to repair them during a battle. 

That's how this particular ship with this particular T9X 400 had met its end. Or at least that's what Bobbie assumed by the black soot covering the launcher casing. She had been working for hours to extract it from the hull and take it to maintenance. 

A few more swings of her mallet and Bobbie dropped her arm. It was fatigued from the work. She cursed the launcher, thinking that the Martian engineers had gone too far with the sturdiness of the weapon. After a couple breaths, Bobbie further examined the casing. Shifting, she peered inside the large opening where the missiles would have shot from. Hopefully a power wrench would do the trick. 

Finding the tool in her cart, Bobbie readied herself for the vibration of the wrench. Pulling the trigger, she worked to keep it steady as she went to work on the massive bolts. There was no finesse in this method and she hoped she wouldn't do too much damage. The more damage, the less commission on these newer parts. 

Bobbie lost her grip for a split second and the wrench slipped, banging against the inside of the launcher wall. Bobbie gasped as caked on soot loosened and fell all over her. 

She let out a loud and irritated, "Fuck!" 

Coughing, Bobbie waved her hand in front of her face to help dissipate the black cloud around her. Throwing the wrench to the floor in anger, she went back to her cart and picked up her mallet again. Fuck the commission. 

She went back to the launcher and pounded at the bolts. Grunting with the effort of each swing, more soot dropped from the machine, but she didn't care anymore. Finally, a metallic bang filled her ears and she stopped short of her next swing. 

"Finally," she breathed out. 

Grabbing the wrench again, she went back to work. The bolts had been sufficiently loosened. After another half hour, Bobbie gingerly lowered the launcher to the floor, appraising it. It was in good enough condition. She tied it up, preparing to drag it through the expansive shipyard to maintenance. 

Another two hours later and Bobbie trudged into the apartment she still shared with her brother and nephew. She'd managed to get most of the soot off, but desperately needed a shower. Peeling her clothes off, she stepped into the shower exhausted. 

As the warm water rushed over her, Bobbie dug her fingers into sore muscles, attempting to massage out the tension. She washed off the dirt and sweat like she did every day after work. It didn't take long for the water to turn cold with so many residents crammed into the apartment complex. With a sigh, Bobbie turned the water off. 

After dressing, she went to the kitchen, starving. A quiet alert chimed from her comm pad. It had been chiming since she walked in the door. Glancing to the pad, Bobbie exhaled roughly, but continued to ignore it. She knew who it was. She sat and ate. She took her time, telling herself she would check it when she was done. There was no point in getting excited. 

As she took her last bite, the comm pad chimed again. With another look to it, Bobbie concluded that she needed to face the inevitable. 

Walking to the coffee table, she picked up the pad and saw exactly what she expected - _New Message from Chrisjen Avasarala._ Bobbie swallowed against the instant lump that formed in her throat. She didn't want to watch it, but she couldn't help herself. She swiped the message to the large screen on the wall. 

Chrisjen's image came up on the screen. Bobbie closed her eyes for just a second, bracing herself for the torrent of emotions she knew the message would bring. The small lift at the corner of Chrisjen's lips already had her defenses cracking. She was at home, Bobbie observed. Her hair was down and she was wearing a simple, silk blouse. The window in the background confirmed it was night time. 

"I thought it was time I check on you," Chrisjen said quietly. She was tired, Bobbie could tell. "Or maybe I just want someone to talk to." 

Bobbie watched intently as Chrisjen paused for a long time. "It seems like it all holds together by the thinnest thread sometimes," she continued with a slow shake of her head. Seeming to note her somber tone, Chrisjen tried to appear more upbeat, when she said, "Earth and Mars have a new union." 

Bobbie couldn't help smiling at that. The UN Secretary had been working for months to change the diplomacy between the two planets. "It was signed today. It's called The Earth Mars Peace Alliance." 

Bobbie sincerely whispered, "Congratulations," wishing she could tell Chrisjen in person. 

"This will be a new beginning. Where the coalition failed, there will be new unity." She took a breath. "It is a good day for Earth and Mars." Her enthusiasm faded as she looked into the camera. Her brow knit in concern. "I wish I could tell you about it in person." Then she asked quietly, "How are you?"

There it is, Bobbie thought. Every time Chrisjen contacted her, there was this care in her voice and it drove Bobbie mad with conflict. 

"We haven't spoken live in weeks," the older woman went on. "I know you well enough to know you're avoiding me." 

Bobbie looked away, feeling caught even though it was simply a recording. Chrisjen could always see right through her. But what was she supposed to do? Talk about her day with Chrisjen like they had anything in common anymore? What could she possibly want from Bobbie? 

Chrisjen dropped her head for a moment. When she looked back to the camera, a lock of hair had fallen against her cheekbone. A hundred memories of that jet black hair ran through Bobbie's mind. She had been captivated by Chrisjen's hair in their time aboard the _Roci._ It was always up in those gorgeous, tight, formal twists and updos that Bobbie would never understand how to do. Every evening when she pulled that black stick from her hair and let it fall around her shoulders with a toss of her head, Bobbie had to fight the urge to wrap Chrisjen in her arms and kiss her senseless. 

"Bobbie, you know I'm here for you," Chrisjen's deep voice broke her thoughts. Bobbie sat down on the sofa, unable to keep the emotion at bay. "These last few months have no doubt been some of the hardest of your life. Don't go through it alone." 

Blinking, Bobbie fought back tears. She wanted to reach out and call Chrisjen, or even drop everything and go to Earth. There was nothing here for her except a strained relationship with her family and a terrible job. But she couldn't. 

She had nothing to give Chrisjen. The MMC had taken everything she had. The court martial had happened so fast. Bobbie was stripped of her uniform and given a dishonorable discharge. She would never be a marine again. The charges against her while aboard the _Behemoth_ , along with her previous situation involving treason sealed her fate. She knew it would. The moment those two Marines died, her career was over. 

Bobbie had tried to plead her case, but no one listened. Why would they? There came a point when Bobbie had to admit that she would have court martialed herself in their position. Chrisjen had asked again and again to help, but Bobbie insisted that she had to stand on her own, much to Chrisjen's chagrin. 

Now, Bobbie spent her days stripping the very ships she had served on, a shipyard scraper. It was humiliating. What could she offer someone like Chrisjen Avasarala? 

The soothing voice spoke again. "Please, call me." 

Bobbie watched the message end and screen go blank. She reached for the comm pad, preparing to reply, but stopped herself, finger hovering over the button. She was drawn to Chrisjen, it was undeniable. But no. 

Chrisjen was a dream she needed to let go of. It was for the best. 

Tossing the glass pad to the sofa, Bobbie stood and gathered her things to head out. She needed a drink. 

******************** 

_Two weeks before Avasarala's first Mars visit_

In her office, the UN Secretary General was making the final preparations. Her first visit to Mars was on the horizon. It was historic. A UN Secretary General hadn't set foot on the red planet in almost a century. She was encouraged by the progress their two governments had made. 

Sitting at her desk, she signed various documents while an aide patiently waited. As she flipped through the papers, her eyes were drawn to another set of papers on the wooden surface. She paused her writing. A strange mix of sorrow, relief, and irritation came over her all at once as she looked at them. Expression hardening, she went back to her signatures. 

Once finished, she handed the papers to the aide who asked, "Do you have anyone you'd like to add to the guest list before it's finalized?" 

Shoulders tensing, Chrisjen was silent. They hadn't spoken in so long, and Bobbie made it clear that she didn't want to hear from her. Well, not that clear, actually. She'd simply stopped responding to her messages. 

Chrisjen knew it must be difficult for the woman. Bobbie defined herself by the Martian Marine Corp. It was her whole identity. She had been groomed from a young age to become who she was. The Corp had made her sharp, strong, and a good leader. Now all that was gone and she was left with nothing. Chrisjen knew she had gotten a job, but she didn't tell her what she was doing. Chrisjen let it go, understanding she must be ashamed of her new position. 

Of course, Chrisjen didn't care about any of that. A uniform wasn't what had swayed her mind about Bobbie in the first place. It was her resolve and commitment to the truth, her refusal to be taken advantage of. Not to mention the unshakable loyalty she had shown Chrisjen. She'd saved her life a few times over, never expecting anything in return. Bobbie was downright remarkable, and Chrisjen missed her. 

"Ma'am?" 

Chrisjen realized she hadn't answered the question. She made a split second decision. One more time. She'd try one more time. 

"Yes," Chrisjen said. "Add Roberta Draper to the list. Invite her as my special guest." 

With a nod, the aide made a note, then turned on his heel to leave. Once alone, Chrisjen leaned back in her chair. Her eyes slipped closed and she went to, what had become, one of her favorite memories. 

Bobbie's hands resting at her hips while the ocean surrounded them. For someone so strong and unrefined, Chrisjen had been surprised at how gentle the touch was. Everything about Bobbie surprised her. The boldness of her kisses, the way she wrapped her arms fully around Chrisjen so that the smaller woman was almost on her tiptoes, the candor they had together. 

It had also surprised her when Bobbie cut off communication with her. If she were completely honest with herself, it hurt. Maybe if she were there, on Mars, in person, they could figure it out, whatever it was. 

With a small nod herself, Chrisjen promised herself she wouldn't leave Mars until she and Bobbie had worked whatever happened between them. 

Turning back to the tasks on her desk, Chrisjen's gaze was drawn back to the offending set of papers. The title at the top of the page taunted her - _Divorce Petition_. She had only received them the previous day and had yet to sign them. 

Not accustomed to failure, she was tempted to fight it. But why? She and Arjun hadn't been happy for a long time. It was her fault, she knew, but bending to someone's will wasn't in her nature, especially concerning the well being of Earth. 

Christen picked up a pen and snatched the papers to set them in front of her. She went to work, making the last of her signatures for that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought about another chap where they are apart, but I can't take it. Lol.


	5. A Job Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My favorite Chrisjen/Bobbie scene - when Chrisjen visited Mars. Bobbie was so vulnerable in that conversation. She seems to be the most open and emotional with Avasarala and I love it! 
> 
> Again, taking some liberty with canon.

The subway tracks bent and curved through the red mountains of Mars. They would emerge to traverse a bottomless canyon, where one could observe hundreds of layers of variously colored rock, then disappear again into a cliffside. The tracks would continue straight into a cavern or along a fissure crack in the earth and come out to cross over a space of flat, barren dust. Eventually it would always go back underground. 

That's where Mars lived - underground. Of course, there were structures sprinkled over the planet's surface, but it could be likened to a iceberg on Earth. What one saw above the surface was dwarfed by what lay beneath. Housing complexes, military bases, shipyards, science labs, supermarkets, all built and sustained underground. A subterranean jungle, Mars lived in the dark.

So when the subway cars would pass in and out of the mountains, all their passengers would instinctively squint or lift a hand to shield their eyes from a rare glimpse of daylight. Not Bobbie Draper, though. 

Bobbie always took every second exposed to the sunlight as an opportunity. She would look down into the cavern or across the plain and take in as much of the landscape as she could in that short time. She thought it was all beautiful. Bobbie was one of the few who had been able to experience Mars at its fullest during MMC training on the surface. She'd loved every moment of being outside and in the sun, even though her vac suit prevented her from truly feeling its warmth. 

Today however, Bobbie found herself distracted from the view on her usual morning commute. Instead, her eyes were glued to the monitor in the subway car. The banner on the news station read _UN Secretary General makes historic visit._ The camera was showing live images from Avasarala's briefing with Martian officials. She had arrived yesterday. The banquet in her honor was tonight. 

She looked perfect, Bobbie thought, like always. Pulling out her comm pad, Bobbie scrolled through her messages until she found the one from an official UN address. _Invitation from UN Secretary General._ Her thumb was poised over the _accept_ button, as it had been at least a dozen times since she received it. 

Closing her eyes briefly, Bobbie turned the pad off and stuffed it back into her pocket. She didn't understand why Chrisjen had sent the invitation. Bobbie hadn't responded to her messages in weeks. Was this some last ditch effort to maintain their connection? Part of Bobbie desperately hoped it was. Really, in the deep parts of her heart that she refused to acknowledge, she knew her entire being hoped it was. Still, she couldn't shake her feelings of inadequacy. 

Going to that banquet, with all those military officers around, and all those politicians, sounded awful. Every time she saw a Martian military uniform, all she could think of was all she'd lost. To be in a room full of them would be too much. 

Her eyes were on the screen again. The sound was muted, but Chrisjen was answering a few questions. Someone said something that made her smile. Bobbie's heart rate quickened at the sight. That full and radiant smile. A genuine smile from Chrisjen Avasarala was rare and, therefore, contagious. Bobbie wanted to see it again. Fuck, she thought. 

Roughly yanking the comm pad from her pocket again, she quickly found the message. She jammed her thumb onto the _accept_ button before she could talk herself out of it. 

********************

Bobbie's shift flew by much too quickly that day. She found herself wishing time would slow down so she could avoid the inevitable. Unfortunately, no amount of slowing her steps or taking her time on her work seemed to actually have an effect on the clock. 

Before she knew it, she was approaching the entrance to the banquet. She was still outside the main hall and she already felt out of place. She was wearing the best clothing she had, a simple white shirt and black pantsuit. It seemed she was extremely under dressed. Pulling at the blazer jacket, she tried to straighten it, as if that would somehow make a difference. 

Another step forward and the security guard also noticed her attire. "Sorry, you need an invitation," he said. 

Bobbie was about to take the rebuke as a way out. But as she turned to leave, an aide nearby spoke up, "Oh, she's a special guest of Secretary Avasarala. Come with me." 

Goddamn it. With a frustrated breath, Bobbie followed. The anxious feeling in the pit of her stomach increased tenfold as she was escorted into the banquet hall. She took a few tentative steps into the lion's den. The aide left and she was alone. Glancing around, Bobbie tried to find a friendly face, or an exit door, whichever came first. She hadn't been this nervous since she was about to testify to the UN committee after Ganymede. 

Waiters dressed more sharply than her carried trays of horderves around and everyone seemed to have a champagne glass in their hand. Everyone was talking to someone. The bits and pieces of conversation she picked up on were either insanely boring or completely over her head. 

She began to slowly move about the room. She didn't miss the side eye looks she was getting and she wondered if anyone recognized her. If so, they would certainly wonder what she was doing here. Every glance in her direction made her feel even more self conscious. She looked away quickly and attempted to avoid eye contact altogether. 

Finally, her gaze settled on her objective. Her heart raced instantly. Chrisjen was stunning. Her ornate, black outfit had a raised collar making her seem even more regal than normal. The gold accents and stones on the coat caught the lighting, causing it to sparkle. Her lips were a deep red and her hair was impeccable. She was listening intently to someone. Bobbie recognized the President of the Martian Congressional Republic. Shit, she thought. Surely he would kick her out on sight. 

They were meandering through the crowd and headed toward Bobbie. Fuck it, she thought, she'd come too far to turn back now. Clasping her hands behind her back, she stood up straighter, attempting to appear far more confident than she felt. 

Just as she thought they were going to walk by without seeing her, Chrisjen happened to glance up. She stopped in her tracks, staring at Bobbie. Her entire entourage followed suit, including the Martian president, almost bumping into someone in front of him. Slowly, the corners of Chrisjen's lips turned up and Bobbie couldn't help the involuntary twitch of her own lips trying to smile. She schooled herself, staying serious. 

"Bobbie Draper," she said quietly, eyes not leaving Bobbie's. As if remembering herself, Chrisjen looked to the President. "Mr. President, may I present Roberta Draper." Bobbie's stomach dropped. Surely she wasn't doing this in front of everyone. "She was instrumental in stopping the protomolecule from spreading and is one of Mars' most committed patriots." 

The president didn't reach his hand out to shake Bobbie's and neither did Bobbie. They simply exchanged a look. "Sir," Bobbie finally said, "it's an honor." 

"Yes." Was all he said, and Bobbie knew he knew exactly who she was. Anger mixed with embarrassment began to pool inside her. She never should have come. 

The president moved to keep walking, ushering Chrisjen forward with his hand. Bobbie noted the concerned look on her face and pushed the emotions down. "It's alright," she told Chrisjen, a little too coldly, "You're working." 

As Chrisjen began to step forward again, she whispered to Bobbie, "Please, stay." 

Bobbie could only nod slightly, clinging to the hope of being able to speak with Chrisjen alone.

Unfortunately, the night continued like that. Bobbie watched Chrisjen schmooze and sweet talk every general and politician in the room. The entire point of tonight was to get the Martians to like her and, from what Bobbie saw, she was succeeding greatly. Chrisjen knew just when to ask the right question to make someone feel like the most important person in the world and she knew at precisely what point during a conversation to place a compliment that would strike to the heart of its recipient, whether she meant it or not. Bobbie had watched her do all this before. Despite the manipulative nature of it, she couldn't help but respect how good Chrisjen was at it. 

Once the dinner was completed and Chrisjen was, once again, swept off into a crowd of people, Bobbie gave up hope. Chrisjen had stopped trying to catch her eye over an hour ago. Finally, Bobbie was nothing but bitter of the whole experience. She needed to get out of there and away from all the goddamn condemning looks. 

She walked somberly up the stairway leading to an exit. Bobbie was finally near her escape when a distinctive, deep voice sounded behind her. 

"Not even a goodbye." 

Instantly tensing, she slowly turned. Chrisjen floated up the steps to stand in front of her. She was suddenly so close, it threw Bobbie. 

"You were busy," she replied, flatly. 

"I was. I'm sorry, they make it difficult to get away." 

Her tone was so easy, like she had no idea what Bobbie had just been through in there. "Yeah, well, no one would speak to me, so I figured it best to leave." 

At that, Chrisjen's expression morphed to surprise, her lips parting. "I can't believe the Martians would be so ungracious," she said, sincerely. 

But Bobbie wasn't in the mood for apologies. She was tired of being yanked around and weary of not understanding why Chrisjen did some of the things she did. Thinking back to the woman's speech at the dinner, she asked, "Did Adirmal Souther really say all the things you said he did?" 

Brow knitting, she responded, "I don't know. We rarely spoke." It was so casual, like it meant nothing that she was lying about something a dead UNN admiral had said. When Bobbie was clearly frustrated at the answer and turned to leave, she tried to explain, "He didn't much care for me-"

Turning back, Bobbie exclaimed, "You were using me tonight! Just like you used him." All her pent up irritation rose to the surface, all the rejection she'd felt from every Martian in that goddamn room rushing out of her. "You're playing some game that I don't understand. It was humiliating!" 

Seeing her on the verge of tears, the other woman quickly tried to set her at ease. "I wasn't trying to embarrass you. I wanted to see you." 

She attempted to reach out to Bobbie, but the young woman took a defensive step back. Practically shouting, voice filled with emotion, she said, "I had no place at that table!" 

Speaking strongly, Chrisjen wanted to convince her that she did. "To show the idiots in that room that you still have friends in high places." 

Not accepting the answer, Bobbie continued to argue, "All they saw was Earth calling its lap dog to heel." 

When no reply came, quiet stretched between them. Chrisjen watched her, and Bobbie knew that every ounce of pain from every dismissal she'd suffered in these last months was expressed in the look she gave back to Chrisjen. Bobbie shook her head, defeated. 

Then, Chrisjen gave a confident lift of her chin and told Bobbie firmly, "Come and work for me." 

A hesitant, "What?" Was all Bobbie could manage. 

"Fuck these people," Chrisjen said, adamantly. "If they don't see how glorious you are, they don't deserve you." 

Bobbie's defenses were up, telling herself not to give in to Chrisjen's constant and sure conviction in her. "I don't need you to save me. You don't owe me this." 

She turned to leave, but Chrisjen called after her. "Bobbie-"

Holding a hand up, effectively ending the conversation, Bobbie said a final, "Goodnight, ma'am." 

She walked away, blinking back tears. 

********************

A few hours later, Bobbie couldn't handle being cooped up in the apartment. She had made her way to a bar and was nursing her third beer. Shaking her head to herself, Bobbie let her eyes slip closed briefly. 

What was she thinking? She couldn't believe she'd said those things to Chrisjen. The most powerful woman in the Sol had asked her to come with her and she turned and walked away. She had wanted Chrisjen more than anything and when she finally convinced herself to let go of the very idea, the door was flung wide open. In her pride, Bobbie had thrown the opportunity away without a thought. And for what? 

That's what she had been sitting here trying to answer. What was stopping her? Was it hubris or principle? She was Martian. This is where she belonged, serving Mars however she could, even if it was salvaging in the scrapyard. 

But why should she spend her life breaking her back for a planet, for a government, for a military, that couldn't care less about what she had sacrificed for them? She had been rejected by Mars not once, but twice, and she kept crawling back, begging for scraps from the table. 

Fuck these people, Bobbie remembered her saying. The corner of her mouth quirked a tiny bit. There was nothing better than Chrisjen Avasarala dropping f bombs, especially when it was to compliment her. If they don't see how glorious you are, they don't deserve you. Goddamn if that woman didn't know how to get to her. Chrisjen's ability to manipulate with words was only bested by her ability to praise with them. 

Bobbie sighed to herself. Glancing up, she noticed one of the televisions at the bar was tuned to a news station. They were rolling highlights of the banquet that night. 

"Can you turn that up?" She asked the bartender. 

With the volume up, Bobbie listened to the press conference Chrisjen and the Martian president had prior to the banquet. Of course, she answered every question perfectly. Bobbie was impressed with her constant poise. It must be exhausting. "There have always been Earthers willing to fight for Mars," Chrisjen was saying, "just as there have been Martians willing to fight for Earth. One of Mars' former Marines, Roberta Draper, is one of the most honorable people I've met. She fought for all of us during the battle of the protomolecule." 

The bartender gave her a sideways look and a grin at the compliment the UN Secretary General had just given one of his patrons, but Bobbie just hung her head, feeling even more foolish than before. How could she think Chrisjen had anything but her best interest at heart? Suddenly, another part of their earlier talk came to her mind - I wanted to see you. The conflict inside Bobbie was beginning to give way. 

Just then, she heard another reporter ask, "I understand that your husband, Arjun, recently filed for divorce. Has that had an impact on your campaign for re-election?" 

Bobbie's head shot up. Divorce? She watched as Chrisjen's expression grew dangerously hard. She was about to open her mouth to respond with what Bobbie knew would be a verbal thrashing when the president politely took the question for her, interjecting, "The Secretary General is here to discuss the expanding cooperation between our two planets." 

The interview went on, but Bobbie had stopped listening. It began to dawn on her how selfish she was being. Yes, she had a lot going on emotionally, but compared to Chrisjen it seemed more than manageable. She would never understand what it's like to be in such a position - the well-being of an entire planet on your shoulders, not to mention brokering peace with the rest of the solar system, and then there were new ring gates. Chrisjen was facing a planetary wide re-election, a battle that was just beginning, and now her husband was leaving her. It had to be overwhelming and Bobbie had only added to it when she turned her back on Chrisjen tonight. 

"Fuck," Bobbie muttered under her breath. Knowing what she needed to do, she quickly paid her tab and left. 

********************

The clouds on Mars were so different than on Earth, red and yellow instead of white. The surface of this planet wasn't littered with illumination either and the stars were breathtaking. It was so dark outside, the sky was an inky black that Chrisjen had never seen before. It made the small dots of light stand out all the more. A tiny amount of light reflected off Mars' two moons, catching the strange clouds, making for a night sky that was truly unique. 

Chrisjen leaned her shoulder against the wall next to the large window in her suite. She'd been staring out the window for some time, exhausted. A tumbler holding bourbon was in her hand. She lifted the glass and took a small sip, savoring the slight burn on her throat that accompanied the smooth taste. With her free hand, Chrisjen reached around to begin pulling pins from her hair. She slowly dropped each one onto the sofa, not caring to put them in their proper place. Finally, she slid the stick from her hair. Leaning her head back and brushing her fingers through her long locks, Chrisjen began to relax.

She'd shed the extravagant outfit she was wearing at the banquet, slipping on a comfy, simple blouse and cotton slacks. There was nothing out of the ordinary in looking tip top for Chrisjen and she didn't find it inconvenient, but there was something to be said for soft cotton. 

Leaving the window, she began to slowly pace the large suite, thinking back over the day. It had been successful, for the most part, though she was tired of hearing the sound of her own voice. She had talked all day. She talked with Martian military leaders, politicians, and decorated engineers. She had hoped to meet more of Mars' citizens but that would have to wait for another visit. The one citizen she had spoken with hadn't seemed too keen on speaking with her anyway. 

Thoughts drifting to Bobbie, Chrisjen grew discouraged. She didn't know what she had expected. She was surprised to find that Bobbie had accepted the invitation at all, considering how distant she'd been. Then when they were finally alone, they argued. Well, Bobbie argued. Chrisjen was still trying to understand why. 

She and Bobbie handled situations very differently, that much she knew. Putting herself in Bobbie's position, she could comprehend how painful the banquet must have been. She hated that she wasn't able to get to Bobbie sooner, constantly being pulled in one direction or another, unable to help set her at ease. What she couldn't comprehend was how cold the Martians had been to the former marine. 

Yes, Bobbie didn't leave the military on the best terms, but how could they not see everything she had done for Mars? Bobbie deserved to be appreciated, admired even. Chrisjen never meant to make her feel anything else. 

Wandering her way to the desk, she tapped her comm pad. Over a hundred unread messages blinked back at her, none from the one person she was hoping for. She wasn't surprised and she certainly wasn't going to apologize. Chrisjen had done all the reaching out and she was tired of it. 

Holding her glass a bit more firmly, Chrisjen threw back the rest of its contents, finishing the drink without a flinch. She set it down a little too hard, making a loud sound that broke the quiet in the room. 

Bobbie Draper was by far the most infuriating and perfect person she'd known in ages. She ignited something inside Chrisjen that had been long dormant, a small spark that began to grow into flame in their time aboard the _Roci_ , then stoked into a fire after that kiss on the pier. Now, the light was beginning to dim because Bobbie couldn't get that Chrisjen cared about her simply because of who she was, not what position she held. She didn't want anything from Bobbie other than Bobbie. 

Chrisjen let out a huff, frustrating herself with the line of thought. They were both too full of pride to admit when they were wrong or when the other was right and now it threatened to leave them both alone. Well, fine, Chrisjen thought. If Bobbie couldn't - 

Just then a knock sounded at the door, yanking Chrisjen's attention away. She began to stalk to the door, fully intending on telling whoever the hell it was that she had earned some fucking time to herself. Throwing the door open, she saw Caleb standing in front of her. She was about to scold him. He knew she didn't want to be disturbed. But just as she opened her mouth to speak, her eyes caught sight of the person behind him. 

Bobbie, expression soft with a hint of worry. All of Chrisjen's ire fell away in an instant. Once they locked eyes, they didn't let go. 

"Ten minutes," Caleb said. Chrisjen only nodded absentmindedly. "Ma'am." As if remembering he was there, she forced her gaze to him. "You know how tight we're trying to keep security here." 

"Of course, yes," she told him. 

He stepped aside and held a hand out, indicating for Bobbie to go in. Chrisjen stepped back, putting space between the two women. She closed the door behind Bobbie, hesitating for the slightest moment, telling herself not to give away any of her emotions. She put on her best expressionless look before turning to her. 

Once she did turn, Bobbie was standing at the other end of the room. Her shoulders were square and her hands were clasped behind her back. She looked as if she was prepared for a dressing down. The concern was evident on her face. She was never good at hiding her feelings like Chrisjen was, but Chrisjen was beginning to think that Bobbie's candor was the more desirable trait. 

When Bobbie spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry for the way I talked to you earlier." 

Shaking her head, Chrisjen replied easily, "Don't be." 

"You were only trying to help me. I should have known that." 

Chrisjen's shoulders dropped with her relief. She hadn't even realized how tense she was. They watched each other, both unsure of where to go from here. Their feet stuck to the floor, the length of the suite seeming to double, separating them. 

Finally, Bobbie asked, "Why did you invite me tonight?" 

Using her customary deflection, Chrisjen asked, "Why did you come?" 

"Don't do that." 

"Do what?" 

"Play me," Bobbie said, resolute. She'd learned at least some of Chrisjen's games long ago. "Just answer the question." 

Chrisjen dropped her gaze, uncomfortable. What was she supposed to say? That she missed Bobbie, that she thought about her constantly, that she wanted more than anything for Bobbie to drop everything and come back to Earth with her? It wasn't that she didn't want to be honest with her. It was that every time they came together, they seemed to get ripped apart. If Bobbie would simply acquiesce and do what she wanted, they wouldn't be in this awkward position. 

Her mind raced, trying to think of what to say, but Bobbie took the burden from her. With long steps, Bobbie rushed across the room, eyes intensely focused on Chrisjen. Before she knew what was happening, strong arms enveloped her, wrapping around her waist. Bobbie brought their lips together confidently. The immediate surge in her stomach almost had her swooning and Chrisjen slipped her hands up Bobbie's chest and around her shoulders, steadying herself. 

Their lips parted only to breathe and come back together again, and then again, as they tried to pour themselves into the touches. Bobbie's hands began to move and her fingers grazed the warm skin beneath Chrisjen's blouse causing her breathing to catch. Breaking the kiss, Chrisjen's lips shifted to her neck. She pressed open mouthed kisses just under Bobbie's jawline. When her tongue touched the delicate skin, Bobbie let out a small groan, pulling Chrisjen against her. The sound was exquisite.

Bringing their mouths together again, lips parting to deepen their contact, Chrisjen felt Bobbie's tongue touch hers. It was soft and inviting and she swore her knees would buckle with the sensations it brought. She pushed back into her, needing to taste that silky touch again. Then Bobbie's fingers were in her hair, scratching lightly at her scalp, and fuck, it sent shivers through her whole body. She tore her lips away, taking in air. It was happening too fast, and surely they needed to talk. Right? 

Eyes closed, leaning against one another, both women breathed deeply. Bobbie peppered kisses at her temple, her cheekbone, pressing a final one at the corner of her mouth and finally resting her lips at Chrisjen's forehead. 

Bobbie breathed out a hushed, "Is this why you invited me?" 

Chrisjen's fingers found the buttons at Bobbie's shirt and she had to force herself not to open them and rip the clothing off the younger woman. Pulling away just enough to meet Bobbie's gaze, Chrisjen said the most honest thing she'd said in a long time. One simple word. 

"Yes." 

Hand fanning across Bobbie's perfect cheek, she brought them together again. Maybe they didn't need to talk. They kissed hard, pushing and pulling on each other until Chrisjen was taking backwards steps. Her back hit the wall with a light bump. She barely noticed it, getting lost in the touches. God, this was everything. Chrisjen melted into kiss after kiss. The pressure of Bobbie's hands at her hips was keeping her pinned to the wall, but Bobbie was pressed so close to her, she didn't care. She almost enjoyed the feeling of letting someone else take over for once. 

Where she had hesitated, Bobbie didn't. Deft fingers began to open the buttons at Chrisjen's blouse. Her body hummed, longing to be touched. Snaking her arms to strong shoulders, Chrisjen slipped Bobbie's blazer off and they both let it fall to the floor. Her shirt opened and the air swept over her hot skin. When sure hands stretched across her ribcage, Chrisjen breathed in sharply and sank into the strokes of Bobbie's thumbs just under her bra. Bobbie leaned down to suck lightly at her neck and anticipation began to build in Chrisjen's core. She was getting lost. 

Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door. Both women froze, panting, the interruption barely cooling the heat between them. The fog they were in hung over them. Chrisjen struggled to focus. 

Caleb's voice sounded on the other side. "Let's go, Draper." 

"Fuck," Chrisjen hissed, head dropping against Bobbie's shoulder. 

The other woman chuckled into her neck and she couldn't help but smile too. This was how it seemed to go for them. Pushing lightly off the wall, Chrisjen pressed one, two, then a third kiss to Bobbie's lips. Another knock sounded and they finally pulled apart. Each one set about pulling themselves back together. Chrisjen buttoning her shirt, Bobbie retrieving her jacket, and both women straightening their hair. 

"I meant it, you know," Chrisjen said. 

"What?" Bobbie looked at her, brow knit. 

"The job offer," she confirmed quietly. 

"Chrisjen…" 

"Just think about it." Not wanting to seem too vulnerable, she added, "I need you." 

Bobbie glanced away and there was that insecurity again. Chrisjen would never fathom how someone like Bobbie could have even the slightest moment of anxiety. "What could you possibly need me for?" She asked.

Now that was a question Chrisjen could answer. "You're smart, you don't hesitate. You don't give a shit about politics," she continued, "you understand the Martians, and you don't take my bullshit." When Bobbie lifted her eyebrows at that with a close lipped grin, Chrisjen confirmed, "I need someone who will shoot straight with me and doesn't care what's in it for them." 

Bobbie nodded slowly, taking it in. After a pause, she stated, "I have loose ends to tie up."

With a slow smile, Chrisjen worked to contain her excitement. "So you'll do it?" 

"No, I'm not saying that." 

Irritated at the lack of directness, she waved her hand dramatically and exclaimed, "You're being stubborn!" 

"No, you're being unrealistic," Bobbie told her. "You can't expect me to leave my home planet on a whim. I have to take care of some things." 

Chrisjen crossed her arms, considering Bobbie. Eventually, she gave a dismissive flip of her wrist. "Fine. Two weeks." 

"I haven't said yes," Bobbie teased. 

Narrowing her eyes, Chrisjen prepared to respond when another knock sounded. 

Caleb's voice was practically begging. "Ladies, please. We need to secure this floor." 

"It's irritating how good he is at his job," Chrisjen quipped. 

Smiling, Bobbie pulled her in, holding her tightly. With her cheek resting at a strong shoulder, Chrisjen felt more peace than she had in months. The constant tension she was under seemed to lift, if only slightly. Bobbie's fingers threaded into her hair and the last thing she wanted to do was move an inch, lest the moment break. An understanding finally seemed to be between them. 

"I'd better go," Bobbie said. 

Chrisjen forced herself to separate from the woman who had just stolen another piece of her heart. They walked slowly to the door, opening it to a clearly frustrated head of security. Caleb had his hand leaning against the door frame. Bobbie gingerly side stepped him, careful to stay quiet and avoid being chided. Caleb moved to escort her out. 

Before leaving, he looked Chrisjen up and down and then pointed to her. He said, casually, "You missed one." 

Glancing down, Chrisjen noticed her top button was still undone. She looked back up to a playful expression on Caleb's face and slammed the door in reply with a roll of her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy putting OCs in my longer stories. Caleb, I think, will be one of my favorites.


	6. Get to the Transport!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbie makes her way to Earth, but not without hiccups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update took me a bit longer than usual, as this is where we begin to make our break with canon and it took me a moment to get Bobbie's motivations right. Up to now, we've followed canon events fairly closely, but as we approach the end of the season 4 timeline, we'll get into some true AU fun! I'm looking forward to it. I made sure to put the debate in here so we can keep up with the canon timeline. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit rushed, and if you haven't seen season 4 and Bobbie's story there, it will probably seem combobulated.

The stars stretched brightly over Ganymede. Bobbie had never seen such huge stars before, nor had she been so far out into the Sol. On their daily patrols, she would constantly find her gaze wandering upward. The stars had been so fascinating, far more so than the surface itself. Jupiter's moons were all completely barren and Ganymede was no exception. She and her company would kick rocks aside as they walked, often having to remind themselves to keep their guard up. Bobbie couldn't wait for another assignment so she could get off this rock. After all, what action could she possibly see in this place?

Suddenly, Bobbie's look was ripped away from the stars. Everything went black. The only thing she felt was her heart beating out of her chest in panic. It seemed strange that she couldn't feel anything else. Forcing her eyes open, fear took over as she saw her entire team broken, bleeding, and lifeless on the dusty ground around her, metal armor bent and torn. 

Just then, the team was gone, as was Ganymede. Blue light began to surround Bobbie. Walls formed around her and she found herself in that God forsaken place in the Ring Gate station. Again, her team was with her. Holden was there too, and Bobbie heard herself begging him not to interact with the alien tech. Her voice sounded far away and slowed down somehow, yet her pulse was still so fast. Glancing past Holden, Bobbie locked eyes with Chrisjen. What was she doing here? No, Chrisjen wasn't supposed to be here. 

A shot rang out and Bobbie watched for what seemed like the hundredth time as her lieutenant was ripped to pieces. 

With a gasp, Bobbie woke in her bed and shot into a sitting position. She was breathing hard. Her heart rate had been elevated throughout the entire nightmare. No, they were just memories, she kept telling herself. 

"Just memories," she breathed out, attempting to calm herself. 

Gathering herself, she felt the cool air catch the thin layer of sweat that had formed over her. She laid back down, letting her arm fall across her forehead. Closing her eyes, Bobbie took slow, deep breaths until the memories were gone. 

The dreams didn't come often but, when they did, they were deeply disturbing. Every image was as clear as when they had happened. On Ganymede, at the Ring Station, aboard the Behemoth, each time soldiers had died under her watch, once by her own hand. When she was awake, it was easy to push the guilt away. But alone in the dark when sleep had all her defenses down, every ounce of self condemnation crept its way to the forefront of her consciousness. 

Bobbie closed her eyes and tried to conjure the image of Chrisjen on the Ring Station. It was just a flash and now, trying to remember the dream, Bobbie couldn't quite get the picture right in her mind. It was the first time Chrisjen had made her way into one of the dreams. Well, at least one of these terrible dreams, and Bobbie wondered what had made the difference. Why was Chrisjen there now? 

With a hard breath out and a shake of her head against the pillow, Bobbie threw the blankets off her. It was just a dream, just memories, and it didn't matter. She needed to shake it off. There were important matters to attend to today. 

The two week deadline she'd given the UN Secretary General was fast approaching, and in true Bobbie Draper fashion, she'd gotten herself into trouble that she would need to get out of if she were going to be able to leave Mars with a clear conscience. 

The planet was changing. She sensed it almost immediately after the UN-MCR war had ended after the protomolecule. When she came home, she came home to a different Mars. Before the war, there was a certain pride in being Martian, and especially in being a Marine. Now, young people were ducking their duty to serve and coming up with reasons to draw unemployment. Even the former marines she'd met didn't take the kind of pride she did in her service. Despite being dishonorably discharged, Bobbie would always appreciate her time in the Corp. She didn't understand it when she met people who left voluntarily. If you could serve your planet, why wouldn't you? 

The answer was buried deep in the soft underbelly of the Martian black market. After the war, illegal business boomed. The Ring Gates opened the Sol to thirteen hundred solar systems. It was another gold rush and everyone wanted to make a profit on it. From selling military grade equipment to the Belt to corrupt government officials, smuggling had become the planet's new economy. Mars was going to hell. Hard proof of it all was hard to come by and, because it was all so new, there were no hard formed factions to infiltrate for information yet. 

It was all one culminating reason Bobbie thought the way she could do the most good was working for the UN. At least there she could develop some connections and get some usable intel to stop the corruption and put Mars back on track. If they wouldn't let her serve in the military, she would find another way to help the planet she loved. 

Though, all that was secondary when it came to why she truly wanted to work for the UN, for Chrisjen. She was tired of running from the woman, exhausted of fighting the connection that was so clear between them. She needed someone who saw what she had to offer and believed in her. She needed someone who appreciated not just her skills, but her personality as well. Bobbie had spent her whole life being groomed for service to Mars. As a fourth generation Marine, there had been no room for emotions in her family, much less tenderness. When Chrisjen touched her softly with that sincere and caring expression, it filled every empty space in Bobbie's heart. She knew with Chrisjen in her corner, there was nothing she couldn't do. 

Eating her breakfast at the table, Bobbie was lost in thought when her nephew, David, came into the room while he got ready for school. Bobbie gave him a glance but didn't speak to him. She was still angry with him. How could he have been so stupid? He was the reason she was in the midst of this mental battle. 

His decision to get involved with a band of drug dealers had gone sideways, pulling Bobbie into a world she'd never wanted to be a part of. She had seen a lot of suspicious things in her time at the shipyard and was well aware that nefarious activity was all around, but she never thought her nephew would get mixed up in it. He'd been raised as the son, the grandson, the nephew of marines. He should know right from wrong. It was just another parable proving the whole of Mars was going off the rails. 

When he got into trouble, Bobbie was obligated to help him, entangling herself with the group of crooks. After sabotaging a door at the shipyard, allowing the theft of high tech communication equipment, by Belters no less, Bobbie knew she had to come clean. She wasn't a criminal and she refused to leave Mars without making it right. Unfortunately, with the head of the gang being a detective, she couldn't go to the police. So, here she was, trying to figure it out. 

"Hey, Aunt Bobbie," the teenage boy greeted quietly. 

Bobbie gave a half hearted, "Mm," in reply. 

After a short hesitation, he came to sit with her at the table. "Um," he started, "I wanted to say thanks for helping me. I know I was into some bad stuff-" 

"Bad stuff?" Bobbie repeated, irritated. "That is a serious understatement." 

"I know." 

But she cut him off again. "Do you have any idea what could've happened to you, running with that crew?" 

He dropped his gaze, embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking about that." 

"No," Bobbie agreed. "You were only thinking about fucking that bitch." Her irritation was quickly turning to anger. "Marines bleed and die every day so you can have the freedom you have, and that's what you decided to do with it?" When he didn't respond, she simply scoffed and shook her head. 

He didn't get it. He was taking advantage of everything she'd worked so hard to provide for Martians. 

"What do you care about the MMC anyway." He shot back. "They treated you like shit-" 

Standing so fast she knocked her chair backward, Bobbie practically yelled, "Shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you're talking about." Slamming her hand on the table, she shouted, "You don't know shit about the Corp! You walk around like you understand the world, but you've never had a real problem in your life." 

Just then, her brother came into the room, awoken by the noise. "What the hell is going on?" He looked between the two of them, annoyed. 

Bobbie and David exchanged a look, Bobbie's cold, David's confused. Dropping her shoulders, Bobbie moved toward the door. The last thing she wanted was to fight with her family. Snatching up her things, she told her brother, "You need to teach your son some respect." With that, she was out the door. 

********************

With what was possibly her last day at the shipyard, Bobbie nervously shifted from foot to foot in front of her supervisor's office. She was embarrassed about what she'd done and certainly wasn't looking forward to confessing. Still, she knew she must. Even if it was a small gesture, it was necessary that good people continue to act justly if Mars had a chance at remaining honorable. 

Knocking at the door, she almost hoped he wouldn't be there. But then a firm, "Come in!" Came from the other side of the door. Opening the door, she was greeted with an upbeat, "Draper, what's goin' on?" 

"Not much, sir," she responded. Making a poor attempt at small talk, Bobbie awkwardly asked, "How's your day?" 

"Same as it is every day," he answered. "What can I do for you?" 

Taking a deep breath, Bobbie paused. Setting her resolve, she determined to tell him everything. 

And that was exactly what she did. Bobbie confessed what she'd done in rigging the supply room door and she even told him she was being blackmailed. She told him what was taken and by whom. She told him about Esai Martin, the corrupt detective leading the entire operation. 

She finished with, "I know you run a tight ship, sir, and would never stand for this. That's why I wanted to tell you. I'll do anything I can to help with security." 

He had been nodding slowly as she spoke. Bobbie was slightly bewildered at the fact that he didn't seem too surprised. "Have you told anyone else about this?" He asked. 

"No, sir." 

"Good. Let's keep it that way." 

"Sir?" Bobbie questioned, thinking it seemed like the incident should be reported. "I'll face the consequences of my actions." 

"No, no," he said. "You got caught up in something. It was outside your control." He gave her a small grin and told her. "Let me look into it. I'll get back to you." 

Furrowing her brow, Bobbie confirmed, "You're sure?" She didn't know why she kept pushing it. The sooner she wrapped this up, the sooner she could leave for Earth. Still, she couldn't shake the feeling that she needed to pay a debt somehow. 

"Absolutely," the supervisor said, going back to his work. 

When he didn't look back up, Bobbie simply opened the door and walked out. Closing the door behind her, she was confused. That seemed too easy. Don't look for trouble where there isn't any, she told herself. This was a gift. 

Standing up straighter, Bobbie made her way to the locker room to get her things together. She would call Chrisjen tonight and set up her trip. There were only a couple of things left to do, accounts to close, bar tabs to pay. 

*********************

A couple of hours later, Bobbie was walking down the hallway back to the apartment. She was going to pack, contact Chrisjen, and get everything set. With any luck, she'd be on a transport to Earth by tomorrow. 

There was a lightness to her step. She was excited. It was the first time in months she'd had something to look forward to. Aside from all the reasons she wanted to go to the UN, one of the foremost was the sense of purpose she knew it would give her. She hadn't had a clear mission since she could remember - make the best grades in school, excel at training, be the best marine in the Corp, fulfill all duties to the best of her ability, but now all that was gone. Floating around with no aim had been torture. The days were mundane and meaningless. She hadn't been working toward anything and it felt like a waste. No more. Time to be useful again. 

Rounding the corner of the hallway, Bobbie stopped short, eyes widening a bit. Two police officers were outside the door to her brother's apartment, talking to him. 

"Shit," she hissed under her breath. What were they doing here? 

The answer dawned on her quickly and she understood why her supervisor hadn't been shocked by the story of shady dealings she'd told him. Not to mention, this explained why he was so anxious to keep it quiet. He'd sold her out, probably the moment she walked out the door. 

Bobbie took slow backward steps, hoping not to be noticed as she went back around the corner. But one of the officers looked her way. He bumped the other with his elbow and tilted his head in her direction. She was caught. 

Turning on her heel, Bobbie began to rush back down the hall, the officers yelling behind her to stop. 

********************

Meanwhile, on Earth, Chrisjen Avasarala was prepping for her first debate with Nancy Gao. Or rather, being prepped. It was her first debate… ever, a rarity in such a long and illustrious political career. Outwardly, she made sure to portray nothing but savvy and confidence. Inwardly, she wasn't sure she was ready. Ready to answer questions on the well being of Earth and how to keep it safe? Of course. Ready to act like some sort of yes-woman, kind and polite, kissing babies and shaking hands, definitely not. 

Here her campaign manager stood in front of her, telling her how important it was to win hearts and minds. How could she possibly need to win over the people of Earth? She'd saved their lives, their planet, and their way of life dozens of times in these last decades. Now a young upstart, in the form of Nancy Gao, was convincing citizens there was another way, a better way - charge through the Ring Gates with abandon with no regard as to the dangers waiting beyond their threshold. No, Chrisjen had sent too many Earthers to their deaths based on too little intel. Those days were over. 

"This is fucking ridiculous!" Chrisjen exclaimed to her campaign manager. "There's a battle raging on Ilus, but yes, let's talk about grain shipments." Sarcasm dripped from every word. 

Frustration mounted in Chrisjen's belly. This was a waste of time. Instead of answering questions meant to convince people she was the right person to run Earth, she should be, in fact, running Earth. Instead, she was trapped here in a debate with Nancy fucking Gao, a clueless child, who seemed to think she was somehow better suited for the job with her minimal experience in policy making. 

"Ma'am, it's important that you appear more approachable," the campaign manager said. "People need to see you as a friend, or a mother." 

With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Chrisjen muttered, "Shit." 

But the advisor continued, "The political matriarch, leading her children to a better future." 

Chrisjen's head flew around at that, eyes wide. The other woman suddenly looked afraid, shrinking under the scrutiny of such a powerful person. "Matriarch!" 

Chrisjen hated being handled. Even more than that, she hated admitting when she was wrong. But then her campaign manager quietly replied, "With all due respect Madam Secretary, you've never been in this position before. You have to play the game." 

Surrendering with a sigh, Chrisjen dropped her shoulders. The woman was right. Despite that she was completely out of her comfort zone, she needed to play a part, at least for a time. Simply being exceptional in her position wasn't enough. Her record wouldn't speak for itself. She had to speak for it, and defend it against any attack from her rival. 

Seeing a rare opening in the pause, her campaign manager suggested, "Let's try going over a few of the questions again." 

Just as Chrisjen nodded, an alert beeped from the console on the desk. Thankful for the interruption, she walked over to check it, breathing in sharply when she saw _Incoming call from Bobbie Draper_. Tapping the button to open the call, Bobbie's image popped up on the screen. Chrisjen quickly cast it to the nearby wall monitor. Bobbie looked like she was in a hurry, but Chrisjen couldn't resist the urge to quip. 

"Your deadline expires in less than forty-eight hours," Chrisjen said casually. But then she realized Bobbie wasn't just in a rush. Something was wrong. 

"I need you," Bobbie said quickly, with a worried tone that got Chrisjen's attention instantly. 

Tensing immediately, she asked, "What's happening?" 

"Well," Bobbie began, as she continued hurriedly down a hallway, "I managed to get myself into a bit of trouble." 

"Shocking," Chrisjen said, dryly. 

Ducking into a stairwell, Bobbie replied with an annoyed, "Yeah, yeah." She turned her head to check behind her. "Listen, I need to leave Mars. Now." The screen jostled as Bobbie moved quickly up the stairs. "If these guys catch me, I don't know what they're gonna do." 

Chrisjen couldn't care less who 'these guys' were or what trouble Bobbie was in. If Bobbie Draper was making a frantic call for help, it was because she had no other choice. "Tell me what you need." 

A voice from the other side of the room broke into the conversation, "Ma'am, we don't have time for these distractions." 

She'd forgotten her campaign manager was even in the room. She turned an ire filled gaze to the woman and snapped, "Get the fuck out!" Hands up in mock surrender the woman went to leave the room. 

Bobbie spoke again, "I need a ticket to wherever the hell you want me to go and proper papers." 

Chrisjen quickly used her hand to pull up the holographic display from her desk. She tapped the quick connect button and Caleb's image came to the screen. 

"Yes ma'am," he said. 

She shouted, "Get the fuck in here!" Taken aback, Caleb Ghazi simply hung up, no doubt on his way. 

Her attention was drawn back to Bobbie, when she heard a hushed, "Fuck," on the the broadcast. Bobbie had moved into a tight spot between some shelving. Chrisjen could hear her breathing hard. 

Swiping her way expertly through various programs on her console, Chrisjen began pulling up everything she would need. She looked up Bobbie's official MCR photo and began inserting it into every document she worked.

Caleb rushed through the door. "What's going on?" He glanced up to see Bobbie's transmission on the screen. It was clear by the way she was peeking around corners that things were amiss. "Of course," he muttered. "What do we need to do?" He came up beside Chrisjen. 

Holding her hand in front of her, fingers spread, she pulled her hand into a fist, gathering the holographic papers together. She tossed her fist to Caleb's comm pad. "Documentation," was all she said. 

Caleb knew what to do immediately. As he began putting together an Earth ID for Bobbie, along with UN credentials, Chrisjen set about getting her transport in order. She'd done all this before, though it had been a while since she was involved in covert ops and fake IDs. Her mind easily snapped from one image to the next, quickly crafting all the identification Bobbie would need. This was simple compared to other things she'd done. 

"Head to the station," Chrisjen told her calmly. 

"Where the fuck do you think I'm going?" Bobbie shot back. 

Chrisjen allowed the corner of her mouth to turn up for the briefest second before answering, "So this is what it takes for you to finally come to Earth? Thugs chasing you through Mariner Valley?" 

"They're not thugs," Bobbie told her. "They're cops." 

With a small shake of her head, eyes still focused on her screen as she typed out information, Chrisjen asked, "What have you gotten yourself into?" 

"Nothing you can't get me out of," Bobbie said with a slight grin. "I figured you'd be happy I finally asked for help." Chrisjen did smile at that. "I'm almost there." 

"Ghazi?" Chrisjen turned to Caleb. 

"Yep," he said. "Done." With a flick of his wrist, he sent his work back to her. 

Using two hands to sweep the holographic papers together over the screen, Chrisjen speedily sent them to Bobbie. "Everything you need is on the way." 

Bobbie said a sincere, "Thank you." She was jogging through the station now. "I'll call you when I get settled on the transport." With that, the transmission was ended. 

With a long exhale, Chrisjen looked to Caleb. He joked, "Martians." Shifting the conversation, he said, "I hear there's a debate today." 

Glancing back to the blank screen, her mind was anywhere but here. She wished Bobbie had kept the comm link open. Was she okay? 

"Ma'am?" He tried to focus her attention. After all, the debate was important too. 

Another eye roll, and she replied, "Do I look matronly enough?" She put on her most fake smile, drawing a chuckle from her head of security. 

"Definitely not a word I'd ever think to apply to you." He offered her his arm. "Come on then. Let's get you to it." 

Wrapping her hands around his arm, they walked toward the door. Chrisjen was more nervous about the debate than she thought she would be. She suddenly wished she'd acquiesced to her campaign manager and practiced the questions more. 

********************

At the station on Mars, Bobbie kept her comm pad tightly clutched in her hand. She glanced behind herself for the hundredth time. Her eye caught sight of commotion far back behind her. Someone was pushing people out of the way. She recognized the officers chasing her. 

"Shit," she hissed. 

Rushing through the crowds of people working their way about the evening commute, Bobbie worked to stay calm. She checked the signs and made her way as discreetly as possible to the UN platforms. She looked at the glass pad again. Still nothing. 

Behind her again, she saw them drawing nearer. One of them met her gaze. No more hiding. If she couldn't get on this transport, she'd be caught. Bobbie practically shoved her way to the front of the line despite protests from other passengers. 

"I need to get aboard this transport," she said, matter of factly to the UN officer admitting passengers. 

"You're not getting on without a ticket and ID," he replied firmly. 

A loud voice behind her shouted, "Stop that woman!" 

She looked back to see the two officers closing in, pushing people to the side. They'd been joined by Detective Martin somewhere along the way. Fuck, she thought. She turned back to the UN man, eyes pleading. He seemed torn. 

Just then, her comm pad sounded. Chrisjen's file was incoming. She desperately clicked it, exasperated to see how many documents there were. Finally, she scrolled to the ticket for the military transport. She snapped her hand up, showing him the ticket. He nodded and quickly let her aboard, just as Esai Martin and his officers made it to the boarding door. 

"You can't let her aboard this ship," Martin said, breathless from the chase. "She doesn't have proper UN ID." 

The UN officer looked to her. Glancing back down to her pad, Bobbie scrolled again. Relief flooded her when she saw her photo attached to a document titled _UN Identification_. She flashed it to the man with a smug look to Martin. 

After a close look, the UN officer told the both of them, "This ID was issued by Secretary General Avasarala herself." With a nod to Bobbie, he said, "You're good to board, ma'am." 

"Thanks." 

Bobbie stepped through the door just as Martin attempted to lunge at her. With a cry of effort, he was met with a punch squarely in the nose by the UN officer. Bobbie lifted her eyebrows, surprised. 

The young man spoke sternly to Martin. "Get the fuck off my ship." 

Blood beginning to drip from his nose, Esai Martin turned away, defeated. Once off the platform, he gave Bobbie a last look through the airlock lock. She gave him a satisfying two fingered mock salute, followed by an accentuated flip of her middle finger. 

Finally, the airlock door closed and Bobbie was safe aboard the UN transport to Earth. Finding a seat, she collapsed into it, allowing her breathing to slow at last. She suddenly realized she hadn't told her brother or David what was happening. Surely they'd be worried. She pulled out her comm pad again and noticed the file Chrisjen had sent was still running. 

Looking through it more carefully, Bobbie saw that she had every piece of documentation she would need to get along on Earth. There was even a driver's license in her name, though she certainly had no clue how to drive a car, much less on another planet with other cars. It looked as though Chrisjen had thought of everything. There was a UN entry ID, along with a security clearance ID. The ID read _Special Advisor to the SG._ Bobbie gave a small smile at the title. She liked it. Chrisjen had even wired some electronic funds that looked to be tied to her own personal account. 

This was happening, Bobbie thought. She was really doing this. Just then the ship's thrusters kicked in and the entire transport began to rumble as the engines ignited. She felt the lift off and in a moment the Gs were pushing against her, pinning her to the chair. 

After a few minutes of burn, the engines leveled off. The familiar sensation of zero gravity took over. She realized she didn't even have a pair of mag boots. Looking all around her, she finally found a pair stashed away in an overhead compartment. Grabbing a handle to pull herself back down, Bobbie strapped back in until she had changed her shoes and tucked her work boots somewhere they wouldn't float away. 

She moved as quickly as she could, not wanting to miss her chance. Feeling the roll of the ship, she knew which side to go to. Making her way around military equipment and the few official passengers on board, Bobbie found a small window. With her face close to the glass, she took in the view of Mars. She stared as seconds turned to minutes. The beautiful, red marble became smaller and smaller in the window. 

Bobbie touched her fingertips to the glass. She couldn't help but wonder if this would be her last glimpse of her home planet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I got this right. I have to admit, I HATE the storyline they gave Bobbie in season 4. I felt it went completely against her upright character. Bobbie from the books would have never gotten mixed up in smuggling, at least not for something as selfish as money. She started off the season stating that she wasn't a criminal and that's exactly what she became. I just couldn't buy it. 
> 
> Anyhow, fixed it! Lol. I hope that Bobbie's motivations for leaving Mars are clear in this chap and not muddled. Thanks for reading!


	7. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a looooong chapter. Thankfully like half of it is a love scene 😆. I tried to accomplish two things: get our ladies the heck together and still advance the story. Hope you enjoy.

The light feeling of zero G began to fade as the transport descended. It wasn't like landing on Mars, or anywhere else, though. Earth's oppressive gravity pressed down on every cell in Bobbie's body. The transition from space to surface was unsettling and the former marine found herself leaning forward under the heaviness. Inside the small, windowless ship, she was unable to look out and find the horizon to steady herself. Even in zero G, Bobbie had always been able to tell up from down, but the gravity here seemed to put her senses into complete disarray, like a magnet disorienting a compass. 

Bobbie was grateful she'd been able to buy some gravity sickness pills off another passenger. Despite the discomfort, she actually found it much easier to make the mental adjustments this time around. The transport landed with a thud that bounced them all slightly. Forcing herself to sit up straight, Bobbie took a deep breath. The door opened and fresh air flooded the place. She closed her eyes and sucked it in, allowing it to calm the dizziness in her head. 

When she realized all the passengers were disembarking, Bobbie opened her eyes. Unbuckling herself, she hazarded to stand. Surprisingly, she found herself steady on her feet. Reaching above her, Bobbie pulled out the duffle she'd bought off another passenger. Inside were her old work boots, along with the clothing she had put on after her final fateful shift at the shipyard. Thankfully, she has also been able to convince someone to sell her a set of fresh clothes, not to mention the officer who had helped her get aboard allowed her to use the staff showers. All in all, it wasn't bad for a new start. 

Bobbie headed for the open door and saw that it was dark outside. She wondered if the sun had only just set or if it were the wee hours of the morning. Night and day weren't concepts she was completely accustomed to. Stepping off the ship, a balmy summer air swept over her. The sensation of a breeze moving over her skin caused goosebumps. She welcomed the now familiar feel of being outside with no vac suit between her and the warmth that even a nighttime Earth gave her. 

Looking around, Bobbie had no idea where she was supposed to go. Everything seemed so different in the dark. Just then, she caught sight of someone she knew. Caleb Ghazi made his way up to her with a casual expression. 

"Draper," he greeted lightly.

"Ghazi," she returned, relieved to be met by a friendly face. 

As he had the first time they'd met, Caleb reached over to take her bag. Slinging it over his shoulder he began to walk away from the landing pad. Bobbie followed much more easily than before, remembering how tedious every step had been previously. 

"How was the trip?" 

"Oh, super fun," Bobbie said, sarcastic. "I opted for first class seating and drank wine spritzers and caught up on my reading the whole way." 

With a wide grin at the quip, Caleb replied equally joking, "Well, I'm glad you got some rest because you hit the ground running tomorrow." 

Turning serious, Bobbie gave a nod. "Good." 

"I'll take you to Avasarala," he told her, and Bobbie was instantly anxious to get to the woman. 

After a lengthy walk, the two came into a garage filled with blacked out vehicles of all models. Caleb walked to one nearby. Punching a few numbers on the door code, the car unlocked. 

He started the car and began to drive them out of the garage. When they came out into the night city, Bobbie's lips parted in fascination. It was completely different than the ocean side of where she had been on her last visit. Skyscrapers reached so tall she couldn't see the top. Windows hundreds of feet up blinked with office or residential lights. Drones carried small cargo above them, following the streets to their destinations. There were cars everywhere. She'd never seen so many people outside before. 

Leaning close to the car window, Bobbie glanced every which way, taking it all in. It was similar to her city of Mariner Valley, except everything was… outside. The billboards, the buildings, the roads, restaurants, they were all above ground. 

"A lot different from Mars," Caleb said beside her. 

Bobbie snapped her mouth shut, knowing she'd been caught in childish wonder. She cleared her throat and sat up straightly in the passenger seat. 

"Very different," she confirmed. 

Soon they were crossing a bridge and clearly headed out of the city. 

"Where are we going, anyway?" Bobbie asked. 

"Avasarala's," was all he said. 

A little nervous, Bobbie inquired, "What, you mean her house?" She tried to keep her tone neutral. 

He nodded. "She wanted you to meet her right away. She got you an apartment, but it's not ready yet." He glanced to her and playfully added, "It was short notice what with you being a fugitive and all." 

She offered him a small grin. It suddenly dawned on her how much he looked like Cotyar, except Cotyar never smiled. Wait, Bobbie thought, he smiled that one time, across an airlock door while he and Chrisjen were saying goodbye for the last time. 

Shaking her head to dismiss the memory, she asked, "Where does she live?" They had made their way out of the city and were moving to what looked like forest, though Bobbie had no frame of reference for such a thing other than pictures. 

She listened as Caleb described it to her, but she had trouble picturing it in her mind. Tall trees, something called old world craftsmanship, and natural lighting meant nothing to her. The more the miles stretched, the less she cared about taking in the darkened view or trying to imagine the things Caleb spoke of. She only wanted to see Chrisjen. 

Just as she was about to ask how much longer, they passed through a gate and the path narrowed. The car jostled as it made its way up the long, uneven drive. Bobbie closed her eyes, trying to keep her bearings as the dizziness returned. 

Finally, the car stopped and Bobbie lifted her head. Caleb opened the door and she followed suit, stepping out into the night air. Strange sounds were all around ranging from a high pitched almost music to a low croaking. They were surrounded by trees. The height of them caught her off guard. They were imposing, even in the dark. They were so far away from the light pollution out here that a blanket of tiny stars was laid out above the house. The majority of the large home was outlined in windows, and Bobbie could see a couple of dim lights turned on on either floor. A balcony extended from the second story over a large porch area. Though she couldn't quite see it, there was no doubt the place was quite impressive. 

Caleb had taken her bag from the back seat and was walking up to the door. She tore her eyes from the house and followed after him. He rang the doorbell and Bobbie quickly ran her fingers over her hair and looked over herself, tugging and pulling slightly at the unfamiliar clothing. Straightening the black leather jacket she was wearing, Bobbie exhaled slowly, attempting to calm her nerves. 

After a much too long moment, the door slowly opened. Chestnut eyes met dark brown. It had only been a couple of weeks, a shorter time than they were used to being apart, but to Bobbie it almost seemed like every time she set eyes on Chrisjen was the first time she'd ever seen her. Each time she was more gorgeous than the time before. Though this time she looked utterly tired, and Bobbie had to remind herself how late it was. Still, Chrisjen managed a small, close-lipped smile that Bobbie returned. 

They were almost staring until Caleb interjected. "Package delivered, as requested, Madam." 

Looking to him, Chrisjen replied, "Yes, thank you. I'm sorry it's so late." 

"No problem, ma'am." He handed Bobbie her bag. "I'll see you in the morning." He gave Chrisjen a warm expression before turning to leave. "Get some rest." 

Glancing back to Bobbie, who hadn't taken her eyes off Chrisjen, the older woman beckoned, "Come in, please." 

Bobbie stepped through the door, a little apprehensive, not quite believing she was actually here. "Thanks," was all she could manage to say. 

Not daring to leave the entryway, Bobbie walked a few steps and turned back. Chrisjen closed the door and leaned back against it with a sigh, emphasizing her fatigue. Even so, the look of affection on her face was unmistakable and Bobbie couldn't help but mirror it. 

They watched each other for a brief minute. Bobbie taking in the sight of a late night, end of the work day Chrisjen. However, it looked as if the work day hadn't ended too long ago. Chrisjen's jet black hair was still swept up into an elaborate twist. She had shed the scarf of her… what was it called, Bobbie tried to remember. It wasn't a sari, the sari had a skirt. It was a sal… something. Bobbie had tried to commit to memory every detail that Chrisjen shared about her culture aboard the _Roci_ but the sophisticated clothing had been difficult for Bobbie to keep up with. 

The slight line of bare skin between the silk slacks and top must've had Bobbie forgetting things. Not to mention the deep purple color was her favorite on Chrisjen. The scent of floral perfume hung in the air, further clouding Bobbie's thoughts and she wondered if Chrisjen had put it on just for her. 

Pushing off the door, Chrisjen came toward her. "You are a sight for sore eyes," she said slowly. 

God, Bobbie missed that accent. She smiled at the compliment. When Chrisjen was in front of her, she let a hand settle at Bobbie's chest. Tingles spread through her at the touch and she covered the small hand with her own. 

With no prelude or pomp, as if they'd been doing it for years, Chrisjen leaned up to place a kiss at Bobbie's lips. One kiss. One easy, soft, lingering kiss that Bobbie would swear felt like a warm welcome home. Their lips came apart with a perfect, quiet sound and the young woman had to force her eyes open despite the flush in her cheeks and the flutter in her chest. 

Finally, Bobbie spoke, though the only thought she could muster was a sincere, "I missed you." 

"Me too," Chrisjen returned easily. After a pause, she asked, "Wanna drink?" 

"Hell yes," Bobbie breathed out with a gentle chuckle. 

Chrisjen smiled fully and led her to the kitchen. Bobbie dropped her bag somewhere along the way, glancing all over the house. The walls seemed entirely made of window. The kitchen overlooked the great room, which was filled with tasteful furniture, art, and items that matched the rugged exterior of the house. Bobbie recognized that some of it must be relevant to Chrisjen's ancestry and made a mental note to ask her about it later. 

"Bourbon?" 

Bobbie's head shot back to her. Chrisjen was already pouring one glass so she simply said, "Sure," though she'd never had it before. 

Pouring a second glass, she passed it to Bobbie. Holding the tumbler aloft, Chrisjen toasted, "To new beginnings." 

"I'll drink to that," Bobbie agreed, eagerly clinking her glass to the other woman's. 

Chrisjen tossed back a large gulp. Not wanting to seem hesitant at something as simple as a drink, Bobbie did the same and instantly wished she hadn't. The liquid burned her throat and she tried to hold in the cough that escaped. 

"Fuck," she choked out. When she looked to Chrisjen, the older woman was clearly amused. A little embarrassed, Bobbie tried to explain, voice struggling, "The alcohol on Mars isn't quite as strong." 

Breathing out a small laugh, Chrisjen instructed, "Smell, then sip." She made her way around the kitchen and into the living room with a muttered, "Crazy Martian," at which Bobbie had to grin. 

Obeying, Bobbie followed while lifting the glass to her nose. It smelled almost sweet, bold, and clearly made from barley. The scent was pleasant so she took a small sip. Ah, much better, she thought. She would need to acclimate before she could swing it back like Chrisjen. They came to sit on opposite sides of the sofa. 

Bobbie asked, "Long day?" 

"Long couple of days," she answered. 

"Everything alright?" Bobbie wished she could comfort her somehow, but had no idea where to begin. 

With a slightly sad half smile, Chrisjen replied simply, "Never." They sat silently long enough to take a couple more sips. "What did you get yourself into on Mars?" 

With a sigh, Bobbie knew she would have to explain sooner or later. "My nephew, David," she began, "fell in with a bad crew. Drug dealers that turned out to be smugglers." 

"I'm sorry," Chrisjen said, brow furrowed.

"Me too," she continued. "It turned out that the entire operation was run by a local detective." Pausing, Bobbie shook her head slowly, still unable to fully comprehend the corruption. "Anyhow, they held him hostage unless I helped them move some equipment." 

"So you did it?" 

"I had to," Bobbie answered, a little defensive. "I had no idea who they were or what they were capable of." 

"Of course you did," Chrisjen agreed, turning to face her on the sofa. "He's family. You do anything for family. Is he alright?"

Nodding, Bobbie told her. "I rigged a door at the shipyard. A storage closet full of Martian communication equipment. I watched two men go in and take it." 

"Who were they?" 

Looking at her, Bobbie answered, confused as she had been that day. "Belters." 

Then it was Chrisjen's turn to seem curious. "Belters? You're sure?" 

"Yes," Bobbie said firmly. Chrisjen gazed at the floor as if working something out. "Something is happening on Mars." Bobbie was relieved to finally be able to tell someone her misgivings of Mars lately. 

"What do you mean?" Chrisjen looked back to her, focused on every word.

Shaking her head, Bobbie replied, "I don't know how to describe it. It's more of an instinct," she said, "a feeling. Things are different. There's so much illegal activity and it's all out in the open. If I had gotten caught with illegal drugs while I was in the Corp, I would have been suspended and probably demoted. But now," she threw her hand up in frustration. "The rules have changed. Black market deals with Belters, young people refusing to serve in the military, protests over water rations." She met Chrisjen's gaze, eyes reflecting the conflict of seeing the bad in the planet she loved. "Martians always used to be proud to serve Mars, whether it was with a weapon or a degree, or simply doing their part in society. It was always about making Mars as strong as it could be. There was unity in that." 

Chrisjen nodded her understanding slowly. "Now everything is about those fucking Ring Gates and who can make the most money the fastest." She lifted her glass to take another drink. "Fuck everyone else." 

Bobbie nodded as well, taking her own drink. "I don't understand it." 

"Of course you don't," Chrisjen said. Bobbie looked at her and was met with the kindest eyes looking back. "You're one of the most principled people I've ever met. The fact that you don't understand greed and the need for power is precious to me and I hope you never lose that." 

Bobbie only responded with a soft, "Thank you." 

They stayed on the sofa, each lost in their own thoughts, until their glasses were empty. Chrisjen stood and took Bobbie's glass. Setting them both on the coffee table, she said, "Come. Let me take you to your room." 

Bobbie rose and retrieved her bag. "Thanks for letting me stay. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do when I got here." 

To her surprise, Chrisjen took her hand and began to lead her to the stairs. She let herself enjoy the feel of the small, warm hand in hers. "I arranged an apartment, but I thought you could stay here while you get adjusted. If that's okay." 

Chrisjen stopped and turned to her, suddenly looking worried and Bobbie couldn't imagine why. Answering almost a little too enthusiastically, she said, "No, no, that's completely okay." 

With a momentary pause, as if making sure, Chrisjen continued up the stairs. The hallway was wide with photographs evenly spaced along the wall. Unlike most of the photos of dignitaries and political events downstairs, these seemed more personal. Bobbie noticed a young man who had to have been Charanpal, her late son. The resemblance was uncanny. Another, more aged one, of Chrisjen laughing with an older man, no doubt her father. Bobbie knew she had adored him. She saw that a couple of spaces were empty and couldn't help wonder if Chrisjen had taken down some photos of Arjun. 

She was led into a spacious bedroom, certainly unlike any she'd ever stayed in. She dropped her bag by the door. "This is the guest room," Chrisjen told her. "Use anything you see and if you need anything, let me know." 

Bobbie simply nodded, glancing around. She felt slightly uncomfortable, though she wasn't sure why. She was staying with Chrisjen in her house. No big deal. After all, they were colleagues now, and it was just until her place was ready. Surely she could keep it professional. But then Chrisjen turned to step out of the room and the last thing she wanted was for the woman to leave. 

"You're not going to leave me alone in a strange house on a strange planet, are you?" It was the best line she could think of on the spot. Fuck professional. When Chrisjen turned back and a slow smile formed on her gorgeous lips, Bobbie knew it had landed. 

She took a couple languid steps towards Bobbie. "Well, if you're afraid of the dark," she drawled, matching Bobbie's quip, "I suppose I could stay and hold your hand." 

Suddenly the idea that maybe, just maybe, Chrisjen wanted her as powerfully as she wanted Chrisjen broke whatever had been holding her back. She whispered, breathing becoming heavy, "I want so much more than to hold your hand." 

Chrisjen's grin faded, replaced by the same look she'd had in her quarters on Mars before she'd kissed Bobbie senseless. Bobbie charged forward, met with open arms that wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into a searing kiss. Enveloping the smaller woman, Bobbie held on tightly. 

They pressed into one another, tongues touching over and over and it made Bobbie hot everywhere. She released her grip on Chrisjen only long enough to shed her jacket. She remembered the exposed skin her gaze had been drawn to when she walked in the door and her fingers found the hem of purple silk. Reaching underneath, she spread her hands over Chrisjen's back, eliciting a hard kiss from her companion. Moaning into the contact, Bobbie returned it with enthusiasm. 

A moment later, warm hands were under her shirt and Chrisjen was pushing the fabric up. Wanting every bit of contact she could get, she assisted in yanking the shirt over her head. Discarding it on the floor, her palms went to Chrisjen's face. The feel of hands running over her skin was exhilarating. 

When Chrisjen boldly cupped her breast over her bra, kneading it lightly, Bobbie began to sway on her feet as her legs became weak. Her head was swimming, but she didn't want to stop. Dipping her head down, she began to suck lightly at Chrisjen's neck, pressing her tongue to that perfect pulse point. Chrisjen inhaled sharply and Bobbie pulled the small woman against her a little roughly, kissing her mouth hard. 

But when Chrisjen put a soft touch of hands to Bobbie's cheeks, she forced herself to slow her pace, sensing the change. The kisses became gentle and both women caught their breath between smooth caresses of lips. 

With a kiss to Chrisjen's forehead, Bobbie heard her quietly say, "We have time." 

Smiling against the soft skin, the words were music to Bobbie's ears. Finally, it was just the two of them. No interruptions, no emergencies, no security, just them. Bobbie pulled back slightly, allowing the air to flow between them again. She looked over Chrisjen's face affectionately, grazing her thumb across a strong cheekbone. 

One corner of her lips lifting, Bobbie asked, "Do you know what I've wanted to do a hundred times?" 

They swayed gently in each other's arms as Chrisjen replied, "I can think of a few things." 

Bobbie moved to reach for Chrisjen's perfect hair. Concentrating, she looked around for the few small pins she knew were holding it. She found one and gently pulled it out, letting it fall to the plush carpet. Her fingers moved over dark locks and she found another, dropping that one too. She risked a look to Chrisjen's eyes and saw that the woman was staring at her. Bobbie loved how completely at ease she seemed with the intimacy. Finding the last pin, Bobbie slid it out, careful not to pull a single strand. She reached for the black stick she knew was buried in the thick hair, holding it all together. 

She felt victorious as she pulled it out and tossed it aside, like accomplishing a mission she'd been seeking to complete for months. Chrisjen tilted her head back as onyx hair fell around her shoulders. Bobbie watched, transfixed, as she had been so many times aboard the Rocinante, as this goddess gave the smallest shake of her head, loosening the locks. Bobbie raked her fingers through ebony tresses and Chrisjen let her eyes close. The feel of the silky hair was exactly as Bobbie imagined, if not softer. She could run her fingers through this hair all night. 

Gently capturing her lips again, Bobbie reveled in the languid kisses as they allowed time to slip by unnoticed. Begrudgingly moving her hands from Chrisjen's hair, Bobbie continued her conquesting knowing there was more treasure to be had. She knew the top of the purple blouse had a zipper at the back. Pulling it open, she worked the shirt over Chrisjen's shoulders. 

The next thing she knew, the older woman took the lead and tugged at the button of Bobbie's slacks. Releasing the clasp, she pushed them down until they pooled at Bobbie's ankles leaving her in nothing but her underwear and bra. It was Chrisjen who picked the pace back up, moving Bobbie backward toward the bed with a wicked grin and the excitement crept its way into Bobbie's belly. She kept her hands at Chrisjen's waist and she was pushed back until her legs hit the bed. Bending her knees, she sat down on the mattress.

The bed made her the perfect height to press kisses at Chrisjen's chest. Arms were at the back of her neck, pulling at her and Bobbie moved her mouth down to roll her tongue between gorgeous breasts before leaving another trail of kisses. She was working at the hem of the bottoms of the Chrisjen's salwar kameez - that's what it was called! - Bobbie remembered. The rush in adrenaline was making her sharp again. But the goddamn pants seemed impossible to remove. 

Growing a little frustrated, Bobbie tore her lips from the splendid expanse of Chrisjen's chest and looked at the object of her current ire. There wasn't a clasp or button anywhere in sight. She glanced up to see Chrisjen biting her bottom lip, looking positively entertained. 

"You think that's funny?" Bobbie asked with a bit of humor. When Chrisjen only nodded, she added, "You messing with me?" She smiled up at her, mischievously. 

With a quick movement she grabbed Chrisjen around the waist, pulling her around with strong arms and easily putting her to her back on the soft comforter. Chrisjen laughed out loud at the playful movement, arms around Bobbie and the younger woman thought she was simply in heaven when she was met with that radiant smile. 

Turning her expression into a mock serious, Chrisjen told her, "If you want this, you're going to have to work for it." 

"Challenge accepted," Bobbie replied happily. 

She moved her hands down Chrisjen's ribcage, leaving kisses in their wake. She let her gaze wander over her, pressing her lips here and there. Perfect. Except for these damned pants. 

"Fuck," she muttered, met with Chrisjen's quiet chuckle.

Bobbie explored all around the hem of the garment, searching for a way to get them off. She was beginning to think Chrisjen was having a little too much fun when the pads of her fingers finally found the most subtle variant in the silk. A tiny clasp held the fabric in a fold. 

"Sneaky," she hummed. Releasing the clasp, she wasted no time in working the pants off Chrisjen and off of the bed, content to never see them again. 

Straddling Chrisjen's hips, she stared down at her, hands splayed across her midsection. She'd never seen anything more beautiful than Chrisjen Avasarala laying underneath her, hair spread across a pillow, the softest look on her face, inviting Bobbie. Still, she needed confirmation. 

"Are you sure?" She whispered. 

Fingertips lightly scratching up and down Bobbie's bare thighs, Chrisjen answered with a confident, "Completely." 

It was all Bobbie needed. She bent down, meeting her lips passionately. Spreading herself over Chrisjen, the feel of deep tanned skin meeting dark olive was overwhelming, warm, and whet her desire for more. Bobbie reached around to easily undo Chrisjen's bra. Pulling it off and losing it, she explored freely. 

Pressing her palms to soft breasts she began to squeeze lightly. Licking her thumb, she rolled it over one dark nipple, eliciting a hiss and Chrisjen arched into her touch. Breathing heavy, Bobbie's mouth went to her body and she began kissing Chrisjen everywhere. Slipping her hand from her chest, she moved down, cupping Chrisjen's core and pressing slightly. The groan that came from the back of Chrisjen's throat cheered her on. 

She pressed again, and then again until she began a gentle rhythm. Chrisjen moved easily with her. Sitting up, Bobbie met hooded eyes. "Take it… off," Chrisjen said, quietly indicating Bobbie's bra. 

Immediately obeying, Bobbie pulled her hand from between Chrisjen's legs and reached around to unhook her bra. She tossed it away into the same obscure place the other woman's pants had ended up. Without a moment's pause, Chrisjen cupped her breasts, massaging them with her fingers. Bobbie involuntarily leaned into the touch, lids closing, head dropping at the sensation. It felt wonderful. 

The next thing she knew, Chrisjen was pushing against her chest and sitting up. Eyes opening quickly, their positions had switched before Bobbie's brain could catch up to what was happening. Somehow, Chrisjen managed to keep her hands attached to Bobbie's breasts, but looking down at her, she stopped her movements. 

They watched each other, anticipation building in each of them. Part of Bobbie wanted to curse Chrisjen for taking her damn time and another part wanted nothing more than to drag the time out as long as possible. Cool air flowed over her nipple as Chrisjen removed her hand. Warm fingers fanned over Bobbie's cheek, thumb outlining her bottom lip. Dark hair draped Chrisjen's face as she looked down at Bobbie and the young woman couldn't believe she was seeing Chrisjen like this, naked and vulnerable with lust in her eyes. Despite her small stature she towered over Bobbie and Bobbie knew in this moment that whatever happened, be it on Mars or Earth, or anywhere else in the solar system, she was never leaving this woman again. 

Bending forward, Chrisjen kissed her sweetly, slowly. After a slight suck at her bottom lip, she kissed her way down Bobbie's neck, another gentle press at her collarbone, then her chest. Next, Bobbie sucked in a breath as that perfect mouth began to move over her nipple. 

She breathed out a whispered, "Fuck." 

Squirming underneath Chrisjen, Bobbie gave herself over to the sensations brought by a tongue toying with her. Sucking and nipping over Bobbie's breast, she couldn't stop the groans and gasps that came. Chrisjen flattened her tongue, dragging it over the sensitive nub again and again, only to sharpen it and lick over the nipple, hard. Every touch made Bobbie's blood flow south until the throbbing heat gathered between her legs. But Chrisjen wasn't letting her get off that easily. 

After what seemed like endless minutes on one breast, Chrisjen replaced her mouth with her hand and moved to the other. Bobbie whimpered slightly, not knowing if she could take the attention a second time, but God, did she want to find out. She knew if Chrisjen even barely touched her at this point, she was a goner. 

Expertly shifting without lifting her lips, Chrisjen moved a knee between Bobbie's legs, gently pushing her hips open. 

"Yes, yes, yes," Bobbie breathed out between pants. She ached to be touched inside.

Chrisjen searched for only a second to find what she was looking for. She pressed her fingers to Bobbie's clit. Bucking, Bobbie let out a cry that was smothered with a hot, deep kiss. She moaned into Chrisjen's mouth, not caring how desperate she seemed. 

Slipping one teasing finger between her folds, Chrisjen wet her finger. She went back to Bobbie's clit, running over it, hard, unceasingly and at the next moment, gently. Heat spread from that most sensitive part of her throughout her body. It moved of its own accord, every cell coming to life, undulating against Chrisjen's perfect touch. Then, she thrust three fingers in and Bobbie felt her muscles beginning to seize. Tingles were spreading through her entire body with the impossible sensations. Fuck, she'd never felt anything like it, this full, warm, uncontrollable feeling. Arms around the other woman, Bobbie tried to steady herself as Chrisjen unleashed a barrage of movement against her sex. 

It only took a moment. She knew it would. Another cry came with her release. Her body rocked through her orgasm as flashes of light exploded behind her closed eyelids. Taking in deep breathes, Bobbie went limp on the blankets, small convulsions shaking her. She didn't fight it. As her senses returned, there were light kisses peppering her stomach, then the slope between her breasts. She lifted her chin on instinct and then soft lips pressed to her neck here and there until they finally settled on her lips with a few sweet kisses. 

When Chrisjen moved off her, the cool air caught the layer of sweat that had formed all over her. She welcomed the feeling. Her breathing coming under control, Bobbie hazarded to open her eyes. After a few blinks, she sought out her companion's gaze. Turning her head, she found Chrisjen laying beside her, looking very satisfied with her effort, propped on an elbow.

They looked at each other until each one was smiling and Bobbie laughed lightly. She felt incredible. Rolling to her side, she pressed her forehead to Chrisjen's and threaded her fingers into her hair.

"You're amazing," Bobbie said quietly. 

"I aim to please," came the teasing reply and Bobbie couldn't help but chuckle. 

After a moment of recovery, Bobbie pulled back to look at her. She informed the other woman, "We're not done yet." 

"Is that so?" Chrisjen joked, allowing Bobbie to gently push her to her back. 

Bobbie wanted nothing more than to provide the same pleasure she'd just received. She might not be as good with tits as Chrisjen, but she could certainly navigate how to set this woman off, or least she hoped she could. Chrisjen had just solidly given her the best orgasm she'd ever had and she could only hope to reciprocate. After all, the older woman had her beat on experience. 

Kissing her way down Chrisjen's body, Bobbie nipped at her hip bone. Spreading her legs, she pressed the heel of her hand against Chrisjen. The deep groan she received was praise enough for her press again as she continued to pepper light kisses around Chrisjen's lower abdomen. However, not wanting to go too far, too fast she brought her mouth back up to capture Chrisjen's. She wondered if she would ever get used to how perfectly soft Chrisjen's tongue was. 

She began to swirl her fingers around Chrisjen's clit, loving the way they moved together. It wasn't lost on Bobbie that Chrisjen wasn't nearly as lubricated as she was. It was the first time that the woman's age had crossed her mind. 

She pressed her lips to Chrisjen's temple. Wanting to reassure her, Bobbie whispered in her ear, "I'm wet enough for the both of us." 

She sat up on her knees, looking down on Chrisjen. Keeping their eyes locked, Bobbie reached to herself. Slipping two fingers into her own entrance, she moved them around until she knew she had enough. Walnut colored eyes had followed her movements and Chrisjen's lips parted at the sight. It was turning her on and a turned on Chrisjen Avasarala was enough to make Bobbie feel like she owned the world. 

She pulled slick fingers out and went back to her focus. The moment she touched Chrisjen's core again, she drew in a sharp breath, pressing the back of her head into the pillow and bending her back into Bobbie's hand. Bobbie pinched and pushed, lost in the tiny noises that came from Chrisjen's throat. 

When Chrisjen let out a labored, "More," Bobbie was quick to oblige. She teased Chrisjen's folds, entering her carefully with two fingers. She started to slowly pump her fingers and when Chrisjen's pleasure only seemed to increase, she added another until she was filling her. Feeling Chrisjen's most sensitive muscles tightening around her fingers was almost as arousing as Chrisjen's own hands on her. Bobbie's eyes slipped closed, allowing her other senses to capture the moment. 

Both hands moved over Chrisjen, in and out of her, and over her clit. Deeper, deeper, harder, harder until Bobbie thought she might hurt her. Chrisjen's fingers were scratching over her thighs and the way she settled into beat with Bobbie told her otherwise. The bed was rocking with the force of her effort and Chrisjen's moans were loud but Bobbie didn't want it to end, even though her forearms were burning. 

Finally, a muttered, "Bobbie," was all Chrisjen could manage to say and Bobbie took the hint. 

Curling her fingers and setting one last burst of movement over Chrisjen's clit, Bobbie released her. Watching her body shake through the orgasm was enthralling. Her breasts bounced with the rhythm of her body and Bobbie was mesmerized. She spread herself over the bed, completely unashamed in her pleasure. An arm draped across her forehead, Chrisjen rode out the satisfying aftershocks. 

Bobbie slowly settled beside her, discreetly wiping her fingers. Once her body had stopped it's small convulsions, Chrisjen reached over to take her hand. Her eyes finally opened and she turned her head to find Bobbie's gaze. 

Expression still foggy, Chrisjen quietly said, with a tiny grin, "That was unexpected." 

Bobbie gave a small laugh and leaned over to kiss her gently. "In a good way, I hope." 

"Very much." 

Rolling to their sides, they tangled up in each other, treasuring the feeling of being able to wrap up in one another like never before. Their breathing evened and their bodies cooled.

Pulling away, Bobbie moved to pull the blankets back. Chrisjen adjusted and soon they were warm in the softest sheets Bobbie had ever felt against her skin. The smaller woman tucked herself into Bobbie's side, head on her shoulder with Bobbie's arms protectively around her. It only took a moment for her to start tracing her fingertips across the skin of Chrisjen's back. All of it was so unbelievable. Her, Chrisjen, and the connection she knew had always been there. 

"I'm so glad you're here," Chrisjen said sincerely. 

Bobbie felt all the stress she'd stepped off the transport carrying begin to subside. Safe with this woman, it seemed like nothing could touch them. Even though she'd been in this house for less than a night, she wanted only to stay here as if it were a sanctuary where they could lock themselves away and finally be together. Forget the outside world. Forget Mars, forget Earth. It was just them. 

"Me too," Bobbie replied. 

Soon, Chrisjen's body was becoming heavy and she whispered, "I'm so tired." 

Combing her fingers into thick, dark hair, Bobbie scratched lightly at Chrisjen's scalp, trying to further relax her. 

"Sleep," she told her. "I've got you." 

Exhaling a breath over Bobbie's chest that caused goosebumps, Chrisjen succumbed to sleep. Unable to stop herself, Bobbie continued grazing her fingers over her, taking the time they finally had and memorizing the feel of every curve and line until she couldn't stay awake any longer. 

********************

The next morning, Chrisjen sat at the large vanity in her room. The drape of her sari stretched out several yards on the floor behind her, waiting to be put together. Expert fingers separated sections of thick hair as she made a long braid that would encircle the back of her head, giving her hair an almost crown-like appearance. It was Chrisjen's favorite hairdo, in part because it had taken her so long to master it. Her shoulders ached each time she did it from being held at all kinds of awkward angles. 

She couldn't seem to stop the corners of her lips from quirking. She hadn't felt so light in ages. Certainly, she had been looking forward to having Bobbie around for more than a few hours, but last night had been completely unexpected and perfect. She'd hoped for kissing, but told herself to settle for less. But flawless, mind blowing sex was something she could have only imagined. 

Chrisjen didn't think much of sex these days. Ever since she'd come to a certain age, the drive for it had decreased considerably. Now she wondered if that was simply a consequence of the partner she had been with because last night she'd wanted Bobbie like she couldn't remember ever wanting anyone. The unfortunate side effects of her lower estrogen levels were always a factor during sex the last several years, but she knew Bobbie's touch would be worth any discomfort. But then when Bobbie had whispered that line in her ear about being wet enough for the both of them… Chrisjen's belly stirred just thinking of it. Fuck, it had been impeccable. 

Swallowing thickly to keep urges she hadn't had for years at bay, Chrisjen set about pinning her braid in place. She didn't need a mirror. She could practically do this in her sleep and bring it into a perfect circle. The light peeking in from the early dawn was enough to see exactly what she was doing. 

Just as she was finishing, Bobbie slowly came to the bedroom door. She leaned her shoulder against the door frame. She was gorgeous with her sleepy eyes and messy hair, standing there comfortably in boy short underwear and a sports bra. 

She smiled softly at Chrisjen's image in the mirror. "You know I used to watch you get ready on the _Roci._ " 

Meeting her gaze in the glass, Chrisjen replied, "You never hid it as well as you thought." 

Bobbie dropped her head, looking embarrassed. She crossed her arms and looked back, grinning. "I don't know how I kept my hands off you." 

Finishing her hair and, only then, holding up a mirror to check it, Chrisjen was satisfied. She turned on the vanity seat to face Bobbie. "The same way I did," she told her. "I was never sure if you felt the same way." 

"Did we waste too much time?" 

Standing, Chrisjen took slow steps to stand in front of her, her wrap trailing behind her. She placed a soft kiss at Bobbie's lips. "I'm glad we had to wait," she said. "It makes us appreciate each other that much more." 

Bobbie nodded slowly at that, shifting to bring her hands to Chrisjen's waist. Chrisjen was beginning to get accustomed to this, Bobbie's hands settling at her curves, and the way the taller woman always pulled ever so slightly to draw them together. 

She'd been wanting to tell her since she had awoken this morning. "Last night was wonderful." 

A few more light kisses and Bobbie replied, "You are incredible." 

Hands resting at Bobbie's chest, Chrisjen leaned back to look at her quizzically. "You do know I'm old?" 

She had to ask. She still couldn't grasp the idea that Bobbie would want to be with her, really be with her. Their age difference was significant. It seemed so natural for her to look at Bobbie, with that tight body and gorgeous round ass, and imagine them together. But for Bobbie to look at her, with her loose skin and wrinkles, and imagine the same seemed so unlikely. Though she wasn't insecure about it. After all, Chrisjen didn't give a fuck about what people thought of her, until she did give a fuck about what Bobbie thought. Then every time she caught Bobbie staring at her, she was disturbingly confused, wondering if it were at all possible that the attraction went both ways. But they had both been too afraid to explore it. However, now, this morning, being here in Bobbie's arms she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 

Just as she was starting to remember how unsure she'd been aboard the Rocinante, Bobbie's quiet voice spoke. "I know that you're remarkable." Chrisjen met her eyes. "I know that you're the most intelligent and beautiful person I've ever seen, and I know that one night with you is worth a thousand nights alone." 

Exhaling against the blush in her cheeks, Chrisjen tried to deflect her emotion into a joke. "Very poetic for a Martian." 

Bobbie leaned in and whispered against her lips, "We have poets, you know," before closing the already short space between their lips again. 

Chrisjen melted into her, deepening the kiss. Just as their bodies began to sway slightly, getting lost in the touches, the doorbell sounded downstairs followed by three distinct knocks. Goddamn it, she thought. 

Bobbie pulled her lips away, looking inquisitive. "It's my ride," she told her. "They give me about ten minutes before they start knocking incessantly." 

"Already?" Bobbie asked. "What time is it? Is it late?" 

Chrisjen remembered that Bobbie had never slept and awoken by the moon and sun. "It's early," she answered. "Very early." She looked Bobbie up and down, sarcastically asking, "Are you going to get ready?" 

Looking a bit embarrassed, Bobbie told her, "I… um… I only brought one set of clothes." 

Of course, Chrisjen has known she left Mars in a hurry. Moving her hands to begin working the wrap of her sari, she said, "Go check your room." 

Bobbie left and Chrisjen started to gather the material in her hands. She made perfect pleat after perfect pleat, taking great care that they were all the same length, occasionally having to let one back out and make another in its place. Bobbie was able to dress and come back before she had finished. 

"You'll have to teach me how to do that one day," Bobbie said from the doorway. 

Chrisjen glanced to her with a warm smile. Looking back to her task, she shifted to pick up a large pin from her vanity. "I've had many years of practice." She tucked the pleats into the long, silken skirt at her hip and secured it simply with the pin. Next, she picked up another smaller pin, draping the material over her shoulder, she secured it again. 

The doorbell and knock sounded. With a dramatic roll of her eyes, Chrisjen headed out of the room, passing Bobbie and waving for her to follow. 

"I hope you're ready to jump in." 

"Always," Bobbie said. 

They came downstairs, where Chrisjen retrieved her data comm pad and slipped it into a specially sewn pocket that she'd had put into most of her clothing. Rushing into the kitchen, she grabbed a piece of fruit and handed it to Bobbie. The young woman was always starving, after all, and she smirked when Bobbie immediately began to devour it. 

Next, they were out the door where her security team was clearly not expecting a second person. Knowing they would be caught off guard, Chrisjen held her hands up as soon as she saw them tense. 

"It's alright," she said calmly. "She's with me." 

Though they looked a bit annoyed, they escorted them both to the second of three blacked out vehicles. "Where's Ghazi?" Bobbie asked as they climbed in. 

"It takes a lot of people and logistics to handle my security," she answered. "He'll be at the UN preparing for our arrival." 

Chrisjen's mind shifted as they drove away from the house. Her easy demeanor was replaced with a serious and neutral expression. She had trained herself many years ago to never give anything away, be it emotion, thought, or suspicion. Her face was her mask, allowing her to deal with people and situations no matter how she felt about them. The mask came on when it was time to work and she shed it only when she was alone with those she trusted most, a number of people she could count without using all the fingers on one hand. 

Her job was too crucial for distractions. When she left her home, she had to stay focused until she came back to it. Her brain was running back through the events of the last couple of days. She pulled out her comm pad and began to scroll. 

"Have you heard about the _Sojourner_?" She asked Bobbie. 

"No, what's that?" 

Lifting her eyebrows, Chrisjen thought it a fitting question. What was it, indeed? "It's a ship. Or, at least, it was before we blew it up." Bobbie already had her pad in her hand and, with a flick of her wrist, Chrisjen sent her everything on the fated vessel. 

Bobbie scanned quickly. "So do you think it was Belters?" 

Shaking her head, Chrisjen narrowed her eyes. "No," she stated after a moment. "We've worked too hard with the Belters for them to sacrifice our peace agreement. We think it was _a_ Belter." 

Bobbie had been continuing to read while she listened. She pointed to her pad. "This Marco guy?" 

"Yes." 

********************

An hour later they were in a conference room filled with military personnel, as well as civilian advisors, like Bobbie. 

Officer Adams, one of Chrisjen's longest standing intelligence officers was saying, "We did some digging." She pulled up an image on the screen. "This is from the _Pizzouza,_ a Belter freighter." Chrisjen watched as Marco Inaros's image came into view. "It's a known fact that Inaros often travels on freighters to ensure anonymity." 

"You mean so he can use them as human shields," General McCourt interjected. 

Chrisjen said, annoyed, "A real hero of the people. Is Marco still aboard the freighter?" 

"We've monitored the ship's flight path," Adams said. "It hasn't made any stops. Whoever got on hasn't gotten off." 

"But none of our assets are actually aboard ship?" 

"No, but we are highly confident in this intel."

Chrisjen sensed the looming tension of one of those types of decisions she hated making. She looked to her general. "Assuming Marco is still aboard the freighter, what are our options?" 

McCourt stood and tapped a data pad, displaying a projection over the table. "UNMC1 is standing by," he said. "It's the closest battle ship within hailing distance. On your order, it can destroy the _Pizzouza_ eliminating Marco and everyone on board." 

Chrisjen fidgeted and pursed her lips, uncomfortable with the idea of wiping out a freighter full of civilians to catch one man. Furrowing her brow, she told him, "There better be another option." 

He tapped another button. "A tactical strike," he said. "We fire a precision railgun shot designed to take out the ship's drives. Then a marine insertion team will board and take the ship. Casualties will be low, but our own risk of casualties still exists." 

It still wasn't a great option. She hated the word _casualties._ However, she had to push her feelings aside. There was a mission in hand and completing it was up to her. 

"But there's a chance we could take Marco alive?" She asked. 

"Yes ma'am, but a low one." 

Thinking out loud, Chrisjen said, "If we could put this terrorist on trial, we could make an example out of him for any other Belters looking to prey upon the colony ships at the blockade." 

Just then, a quiet voice spoke from the far end of the table. "If I may, ma'am." 

Chrisjen looked up at the familiar sound of Bobbie's voice. She didn't miss that everyone else has also looked in the young woman's direction. She was leaning forward in her seat, looking unsure. Chrisjen gave her an encouraging nod. When it came to choices where lives lay in the balance, she would take any advice. 

"Um," Bobbie hesitated. "What if, rather than board the ship, we tow it?" 

Looks of confusion went around the room, including from Chrisjen. "Tow it?" 

Bobbie nodded. "There's a UN station not far. If we disable the ship and remotely take over the signal from the _Pizzousa_ , we can slave it to UNMC1 and tow it without putting the strike team in harm's way. Once it's there, there must be a less invasive way to get Marco off the ship." 

"Like the _Roci_ and the _Razorback_ ," Chrisjen recalled with a nod from Bobbie. 

Resisting the temptation to smile with pride at her, Chrisjen left her mask skillfully in place and looked to McCourt. With a lift of his eyebrows, he quietly agreed. "It could work, but it will take more time." 

"People's lives are worth time," Chrisjen said, her decision easily made. She stood and instructed, "Let me know when everyone is in place." 

People filed out of the room while Chrisjen stayed, her eyes pinned to the image of Marcos Inaros still on the monitor. She had so many questions, but one thing was certain. The Sojourner would not be this man's last attempt at striking Earth. 

Bobbie slipped up beside her. "Do you want me to go with them, or should I-"

"No," Chrisjen said, still staring at the picture. "We need to get you acclimated." She finally looked at her. "I have the morning security briefing. Come, sit in." 

*******************

Half the day later, they were in the situation room. Everyone from the earlier briefing was sitting at the round table. The _Pizzouza's_ flight path was projected above the table. Chrisjen sat with her elbows on the table, leaning into the image. Her index finger settled below her bottom lip as she thought. 

Despite the solid nature of their plan, things could always go awry in a moment's notice and there were so many variables unaccounted for. Chrisjen's mind went from one scenario to the next, but the fact was clear that to get Marco, the UN had to make a move. 

Gaze remaining on the holographic ship, Chrisjen said a simple, "General." 

McCourt tapped his comm. "Strike team, you are a go." 

They watched as a beam of light came from the UN ship and floated toward the freighter. The precision shot hit its mark and the _Pizzouza_ rolled to one side from the impact. Immediately, UNMC1 made its way closer. 

They listened to the live broadcast between ships as UN officers told them to stand down and prepare for their ship to be taken into custody. Next, the battleship confirmed that they'd locked onto the freighter's signal. Chrisjen stood, tense. 

Soon the image was of the UN military vessel towing the freighter with the ship's crew saying over the mic, "We are heading in to base." 

Everyone in the situation room breathed a sigh of relief. Chrisjen allowed the tiniest quirk of one corner of her lips at the news. She wanted to get the terrorist into custody. Not only was it the best thing for the colonies and for Earth's accord with the Belt, it would look damn good for her campaign. 

However, only a few seconds later the triumphant mood took a terrible turn as the lighted display above the table reflected a massive explosion. Gasps sounded across the room. Eyes wide, Chrisjen leaned forward, hands spread across the table. Pieces of the _Pizzouza_ began to float out into space. The comm went crazy with chatter from the UN battleship.

Chrisjen's heart raced. "McCourt!" 

With a shake of his head, the general confirmed, "It's gone, ma'am." 

Holding herself together with every bit of composure she could muster, Chrisjen slowly sat down in her chair. Suddenly, Marco didn't matter any more. Voices began to speak hurriedly around her, but she didn't try to make out what they were saying. Adams and McCourt started getting into it. Chrisjen made no move to stop it. For a time, Chrisjen knew her thoughts would be entirely occupied by the hundreds of lives that had just been snuffed out.

Allowing her eyes to slip closed, the fleeting thought crossed Chrisjen's mind that she didn't know how much longer she could keep this up - keep making these calls when people died. No matter what she did, or how hard she fought for peace, there was always some fucker who would be there to ensure that chaos still reigned over the Sol. 

When her eyes opened, everyone in the room was busy. Some were getting confirmation of what had happened from the UN ships. Others were making video calls, while still others reviewed the footage of the explosion. 

Chrisjen stayed in her seat, glancing around the room at all the pointless activity until her gaze landed on the only other person not moving. She locked eyes with Bobbie and saw the same sorrow reflected in the young eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly believe that Chrisjen is a very affectionate person. We've gotten glimpses of it throughout the series, not to mention the wonderful actor that plays her seems to be as well. So I love the idea of her being very touchy. I'm not sure if I'm doing Bobbie justice, however. I might be making her too sappy. BUT, I also don't think that Bobbie has probably been affectionate with anyone in her life based on the little we know if her background, so I like the notion of her discovering that part of herself. Either way, hope you're enjoying the story.


	8. When One Door Closes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrisjen's time as Secretary General comes to a close, but it's not the end of her adventures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never intended this to turn into a Season 4 recap. I wanted to breeze though the whole season in two or three chaps and I got lost in these two. I made the decision to end this story at the end of season 4 and start a new work, telling the story I meant to tell here! Lol! 
> 
> I can't wait to share the sequel with you, where these two ladies kick ass and take names.

Bobbie stirred from her sleep, awoken by a sound she couldn't quite identify. Taking a breath in, she rolled to her back and stretched out across the soft sheets. She lifted her arm to rest above her head and resisted the inevitable opening of her eyes. The back of her other hand lazily stroked the bedsheet. The sheets on her bed on Mars were so rough, though she'd never noticed it until she was in Chrisjen's bed on Earth. 

She had always been an early riser on Mars, up before the rest, ready to prove herself at whatever the task of the day may have been. It must've been her military training. However, the mornings always seemed to come much too soon these last several weeks. Maybe she was simply adjusting to waking and sleeping with the daytime and nighttime. But part of her was pretty sure it was these damned sheets. 

Moving to her stomach, Bobbie pressed her cheek into the fluffy pillow, allowing the smooth case to caress her skin. Just then she heard the sound that had roused her again, an unmistakable and far away pop, pop, pop. A tiny smile formed on her lips and she was suddenly awake, the sheets forgotten. 

Dressing quickly and pulling her hair back, Bobbie made her way downstairs as the sounds continued in the distance outside. Coming to the double glass doors that led into Chrisjen's expansive backyard, Bobbie glanced around toward a particular direction. She made her way outside and followed the sounds. 

She came to a long clearing with targets set up from ten to two hundred yards away. It was one of the best ranges she'd ever used. She'd been shocked to discover it one day. After hearing random gunfire on the property, Bobbie had run straight toward the sounds, fearing the worst, only to find Chrisjen engaged in target practice. It had been a happy surprise and the two had spent several hours here in the weeks that followed. 

Drawing closer, Bobbie observed Chrisjen's stance as she took aim at a twenty yard target. Feet planted wide, giving her stability, and arms straight out front with no bend in the elbow. Not bad, Bobbie thought, as the older woman landed one, two, three, four shots squarely in the target's chest. 

"Taking target practice without me?" Bobbie asked happily, walking up beside Chrisjen. 

Her hair was pulled into a simple ponytail. She hadn't put on any makeup yet and she was clad in a t-shirt that had to have come from Bobbie's closet. Somehow she still hadn't managed to move into the apartment that Chrisjen had set up for her and neither one of them brought it up. Bobbie loved seeing her like this, a way no one else got to see her - casual and not done up. That's not to say she didn't love seeing Chrisjen done up because she did, but seeing her dressed down was something rare and she appreciated it every time. 

Chrisjen turned to her with a smile. "I was hoping I would wake you." With that, she walked over to the table and changed the clip in her pistol. 

"Mission accomplished," Bobbie replied easily. She glanced to the target her companion had been decimating. "That's a good cluster." 

"Thank you," Chrisjen said. "But I'm still having problems with the rapid fire." 

"Oh, yeah?" Bobbie welcomed what sounded like an invite to a lesson. "Show me." 

Chrisjen stepped to stand in front of a closer target. Taking her stance, she aimed carefully. Then she pulled the trigger in quick succession, unleashing the entire clip. Suddenly, the accuracy she'd had with the previous target that was farther away completely fell apart. Bullet holes riddled the entire target, and Bobbie was sure a couple hadn't even hit. 

Shoulders slumping, Chrisjen lowered the weapon and looked to her with an annoyed expression. Walking back, she reloaded again. 

"The kick is throwing you," Bobbie said, matter of factly. 

"How so?" Chrisjen asked. 

"Well," Bobbie began, "Each shot kicks backs and if you don't control the kick, your aiming point will be different with every shot." 

"So how do I control the fucking kick?" 

Bobbie grinned. Chrisjen really couldn't handle being bad at anything. 

"Take your stance," Bobbie told her. Chrisjen lifted the weapon and leaned it, arms set and eyes focused. Bobbie immediately saw the tension in her shoulders. She set her hands gently on them. "Shoulders down," she told Chrisjen and the woman listened, rolling her shoulders back and down. "Now, don't absorb the kick with your wrists. Absorb it with your shoulders." 

"How?" 

Bobbie smiled to herself, beginning to catch on to the game that probably started the second she walked up. Stepping behind Chrisjen, close, until the front her body brushed the back of the one in front of her, Bobbie slipped her fingers up Chrisjen's arms until her hands gripped her wrists lightly. 

She said quietly, lips at the shell of Chrisjen's ear. "Don't let your wrist pop back like this." She shifted Chrisjen's wrists to simulate the weapon popping back and the muzzle moving upward. "Rather, lock your arms and let your shoulders move back." When Chrisjen did lock her arms, Bobbie pulled slightly, straight back so she could feel how her shoulders took the movement and, consequently, also pulled them closer. 

Moving away, she caught the closed lipped smile on Chrisjen's lips. "Alright then," Chrisjen said. 

"Try it." 

She took aim again and, once again, fired fast round after fast round, at least a dozen altogether in only a few seconds. Bobbie's jaw dropped when every shot landed within a couple of inches. Satisfied, Chrisjen gave her a smirk. 

"You sandbagging me?" Bobbie asked, exasperated, though the answer was clear. 

"Maybe you're just a good teacher." Chrisjen walked past her and set the weapon down. Bobbie followed. "Or maybe I'm just hitting on you." She smiled up at Bobbie. 

Unable to resist her, Bobbie casually rested her hands at Chrisjen's hips, drawing her nearer. "You with a loaded weapon is certainly a turn on." 

With a small chuckle, the shorter woman leaned up to place a soft kiss at Bobbie's lips. One kiss was never enough for Bobbie. She stole a second and a lingering third. Chrisjen was usually go, go, go in the mornings, anxious to get the day moving, so Bobbie thought it odd when she simply laid her head at Bobbie's chest, arms wrapping around her. Markp

Realizing that a thousand things had to be on her mind, Bobbie asked, "You ready for today?" 

"No," Chrisjen answered, not relinquishing her hold. Finally she looked up at Bobbie. "But the day will happen anyway." 

"I'll be with you every minute," Bobbie told her. 

"Promise?" When Bobbie nodded, she gave her a look of warning. "You might regret that." 

Pulling out of Bobbie's embrace, Chrisjen gathered her weapon, clips, and ammunition and tucked them into a bag. Taking Bobbie's hand, they began walking back toward the house. 

"What got you into shooting, anyway," Bobbie asked. 

The corners of Chrisjen's lips lifted with an affectionate expression. "A promise to an old friend." She looked at Bobbie. "He insisted I be able to protect myself. After the protomolecule shitstorm, I decided he was right." 

Bobbie knew instantly. "Cotyar?" Chrisjen nodded, and Bobbie told her, "I think he'd be impressed." 

Making their way back inside, they both went upstairs to prepare for what would surely be a long day. Before each one went to their own bathroom to shower, Bobbie asked, "What do you need from me today?" 

Turning to her, Chrisjen quipped, "Are you registered to vote? Because I think I'm going to need every single one." 

*******************

The next eighteen hours had been a roller coaster as the closest election in the last two hundred years played out. Each candidate led the way multiple times throughout the day, resulting in cheers then subsequent frustration inside election headquarters at the UN. 

Chrisjen had run the entire gamut of emotions from confident to insecure, angry to resigned, and cheerful to fuck everyone. Bobbie had done her best to keep up, offering a drink when she thought it best, shooing away her scurrying aides, or simply a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

But nothing she did could stop the outcome of the election. Nancy Gao had won by the slimmest of margins and Chrisjen had lost. As the final news reports confirmed it, the current UN Secretary General had gone silent. People spoke to her, but she didn't respond. Bobbie saw it written plain as day on Chrisjen's exhausted features. Chrisjen was shocked and completely caught off guard. Though she covered it well, Bobbie knew she was afraid that if she engaged with someone, anyone, the mask would fall and the regal persona would break. So she shut everyone out. 

That's why they were here, now, having retreated to the sanctuary of Chrisjen's office. The first thing she'd done was pour two drinks and offer one to Bobbie. The younger woman took it wordlessly, feeling the weight of Chrisjen's sad demeanor. She watched as the always stoic and resolute woman meandered around the room, grazing her fingers over various awards or photographs around the space, seeming to take each one in as if it were the first time she'd seen them. 

Making her way to the large window, Chrisjen set her glass down and gazed over the cityscape. Reaching up, she pulled the tie from her impeccable bun. Bobbie observed, as she had so many times before, as Chrisjen leaned her head back and ran her fingers through her dark locks. Next, she began to unwrap her sari and Bobbie realized that the weight of the wrap was even more than she could handle tonight. 

Before Chrisjen could even pull the fabric from her around her back, she dropped her hands and rested them on the window sill, leaning forward with slumped shoulders. Hanging her head, she released a deep sigh that wrenched Bobbie's heart. 

Walking slowly up behind Chrisjen, Bobbie slipped her arms around her waist and pulled the small body into her, back to front, holding her securely. When Chrisjen covered Bobbie arms with her own, they stayed that way for endless minutes, staring out the window over a planet that had chosen a new leader, rejecting the one who had brought it back from the brink of ruin time after time. 

Wanting nothing more than to help, Bobbie released her grip and moved to assist with the heavy wrap. She gently lifted it over Chrisjen's shoulder, undoing the pin she knew was there. Next, she shifted it around her front and under the other arm, thankful that the steadfast woman was letting her help. At this point, Bobbie was holding yards of fabric. She draped it on her arm and removed the larger pin at Chrisjen's hip. Tugging lightly, she loosened the multiple pleats that were tucked into the silken skirt. Unwrapping it one more time from around her body, Bobbie stretched the fabric out on the floor behind Chrisjen. 

Coming to stand next to her, she laid her hand over the older woman's. "I wish I knew what to say," Bobbie spoke quietly. 

After a moment came an equally quiet response. "You don't have to say anything," she said, finally breaking her silence. "I'm just glad you're here." 

Soon, Chrisjen pulled her hand away and stepped back from the window. She walked over to her desk, the old world mahogany one that she loved. Sitting down, Chrisjen tapped the clear glass monitor screen on the desk, then she tapped the record button. 

"Nancy," she began, "by the time you see this, you will be Secretary General." Bobbie's ears perked up, anxious to be privy to the private message. "This will be your chair and the system will look very different. This isn't a job I wanted. I didn't seek it out." Her voice remained soft, almost encouraging. "Once I had it, it was hard to think of letting it go. It won't be easy for you either, it won't be simple and I'll be rooting for you. If there is anything I can offer that will help, any wisdom I can pass on, it is this. This chair is not a throne, we're not queens. The work we do here is critical, but it is not all that we are. Don't forget the rest of yourself while you do this." 

Her eyes glanced to Bobbie and the young Martian thought her heart would stop with the honesty of the words. "Your time will end too, and you will want a life to return to once this is done." Bobbie looked away, understanding the vulnerability taking place before her as Chrisjen continued. "As for policy, and the direction you're taking Earth and all her peoples. Well, we disagree. One of us is wrong. I think it's you." Bobbie couldn't help the quirk of her lips at that. "But I hope it's me. Good luck. Our future is in your hands now." With that, she tapped the button ending the recording. 

She stood, coming back over to where Bobbie was at the window. Unexpectedly, Bobbie was met with arms slowly coming around her torso and Chrisjen's head resting at her shoulder. It was a languid embrace that they settled into, each relaxed exhale bringing them closer. Bobbie could've held her forever, her adoration for this woman increasing tenfold at such a display of selflessness and grace as she was showing Nancy. 

Looking up at Bobbie with tired eyes, Chrisjen said, "Let's go home." 

Bobbie simply nodded and helped her gather the long yards of fabric from her sari, careful not to disrupt the beading and elegant embroidery. They made their way back out of the office and down the hall, met by a solemn UN marine. He tapped the button to the elevator for her, saying into his radio, "Archangel is on the way down." Then he looked to her as they entered the elevator. "It should've been you, ma'am." Chrisjen only gave him a weak smile. 

They rode silently down. When the elevator dinged their arrival, both sets of eyes widened at the sight they were met with. The entire first floor of the UN building was packed and cheers erupted as the UN staff, military personnel, ambassadors from across the system, as well as other politicians gathered to give Chrisjen the send off she deserved. 

The rough exterior finally gave way and Bobbie saw tears gathering in Chrisjen's eyes. How she kept them from spilling over, Bobbie would never understand. She coaxed Chrisjen out of the elevator with a hand at the small of her back. As they moved through the crowd, there were choruses of, "Avasarala forever," and "It should be you," along with many simple, "Thank you"s. 

She shook hands with people she worked with, constantly disagreed with and always managed to make amends with. These were the people that had walked with her through Earth's darkest days. They'd made each decision together, and Chrisjen would never have been able to accomplish the historic era of peace they now lived in without each of them. 

Finally coming to the security exit, Caleb met them. He spoke into his radio, "This is Eagle One. I've got Archangel." As the security team opened the door to escort Chrisjen Avasarala out of the UN, she turned back to the still cheering crowd. A thousand things were written across her face. She was speechless. Lifting her fingers to her lips, she kissed them and gently extended her hand out, the only goodbye she could muster. Then they were gone. 

********************

Back at the house, it was late, middle of the night late, but Chrisjen couldn't sleep. She would have thought that tonight would be the best sleep she'd gotten in ages. After all, the election would be over and the next course of her life laid out, be it at the UN or somewhere else. She should be exhausted, spent, and unable to stay awake. 

Instead, she had quietly made her way out of bed and stolen a blanket from the guest room. Bobbie didn't need it. She hadn't slept in the guest room for weeks. She'd made her way through the home office window and outside onto the roof, her favorite spot on the entire property. 

The sky was so bright tonight, the moon was in shadow allowing stars to stand out all the more. Chrisjen could see some stars and celestial beings that had been hidden behind haze as of lately. She found herself wondering if it really had been a hazy sky clouding her view or simply stress. Either way, the chaos of life seemed to slow each time she came out here. Even more so tonight.

Wrapped in the warm blanket, Chrisjen sighed. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel, but amid all the feelings one stood out above the rest. Relief. 

She was relieved. Relieved that the burden of Earth's security and prosperity no longer lay on her shoulders. Relieved that she no longer had to make the call on whether or not to send hundreds of soldiers to their possible deaths. Relieved at the idea that maybe her life could be lived on her own terms now. Smiling slightly to herself, the realization settled in. She could do anything she wanted. 

That's not to say that the sting wasn't deep. She'd given Earth everything and it seemed like none of that mattered. It boiled down to one thing - those goddamned Ring Gates. If it hadn't been for the Ring, Chrisjen would have won the election, no question. But the Ring was here to stay and if she couldn't get on board with that, maybe she wasn't the right one to lead after all. She couldn't take the results personally. It wasn't about her, she told herself, it was about the Ring. She would have to cling to that mantra for a long time to get through the feelings of rejection she knew were coming. 

Still, Chrisjen couldn't shake the idea that this may be exactly the way things were meant to happen. She thought her sense of purpose would be lost if the election was lost. On the contrary, anticipation hung in her mind, like something was coming. 

Just then, her thoughts were broken when a familiar voice said an exasperated, "I've been looking all over for you!" She turned her head to see a nearly breathless and worried Bobbie, head popping out of the window. "I woke up and you were gone. I couldn't find you anywhere." 

Smiling, a little amused, Chrisjen said, "I'm sorry." 

Bobbie crawled out the window and came to sit next to where she was laying. "You could have told me where you were going." 

"I didn't want to wake you." Chrisjen would never tell the former marine, but she was absolutely adorable when she was asleep. She could never stand to wake her. 

Bobbie shivered a bit against the cool night air, running her hands up and down her bare upper arms. Shifting, Chrisjen pulled the blanket from under herself, spreading it across the rooftop. "Come here." 

Bobbie instantly accepted the offered blanket, lying down next to Chrisjen. They wrapped up in it, close together, and looked up to the night sky, black and dotted with tiny twinkling white lights. Save for one that was a different color. 

Turning her head to the east, Chrisjen pointed to one particularly bright spot. "Look there." Bobbie followed her finger. "If you squint, you can almost see the reddish halo around it." 

Bobbie sat up again quickly. "Mars?" 

"Yes," Chrisjen confirmed. She didn't need to see Bobbie's face to know the intensity with which she looked at the far away planet. 

"It's so small," Bobbie said. After a moment, she commented, "Can you imagine what they must've thought of it hundreds of years ago?"

"It was a pipe dream to even get there," Chrisjen answered. "Now it's the greatest military power in the solar system." With a hand in Bobbie's back, she asked, "Do you miss it?" 

Coming to lay back down with her, both women on their backs, eyes to the sky, Bobbie said, "The Mars I loved is gone." She met Chrisjen's gaze. "That's the Mars I miss." 

Chrisjen nodded her understanding. She looked back to the heavens, eyes wandering across the expanse. "You know, before the protomolecule, everything was about Earth," Chrisjen said. "Earth first, no matter what, it didn't matter what we had to do, or how far we had to go." Her eyes slipped closed with old, painful memories. "I did a lot I'm not proud of." 

"We've all done things we're not proud of," Bobbie told her. 

"I told myself it was alright because it was for Mother Earth," Chrisjen went on. "But now I realize that I was only keeping us isolated, and the peace I wanted so much would never happen if I didn't learn to include everyone, keep everyone safe." 

Rolling to prop on an elbow, Bobbie rested her head against her hand. "And now?" 

"On the _Roci_ , with you, with the others," Chrisjen said. "We were all people from different backgrounds, different planets and places, working together for one goal. That's what this system should be. Earth, Mars, and the Belt, working together."

"Sounds wonderful. Do you really think it's possible?" 

"I do," Chrisjen responded quickly. "But not when everyone feels they are entitled to a bigger piece of the pie. Earth feels entitled because it came first. Mars feels entitled because it created a habitable planet from scratch. The Belt feels entitled because they've been marginalized for their entire existence. But we need each other if we're going to make any of it work," she finished, looking to Bobbie. 

The younger woman reached over to lightly trace Chrisjen's hairline, from her forehead to her temple, gently pressing a lock of hair behind her ear. Chrisjen was often still caught off guard at how tender Bobbie could be. She was such a powerful force and Chrisjen had a feeling she may be the only person who'd ever received these kinds of touches from her. 

Bobbie let her hand come to lay at Chrisjen's neck, grazing her thumb across Chrisjen's strong jawline, eyes wandering over her features. "I used to think Mars was the best of all of us," she said softly. 

"What changed your mind?" Chrisjen wanted to know. 

One corner of Bobbie's perfectly full lips turned up slightly. "You." 

Chrisjen smiled slowly at the compliment, thinking how fitting it was as Bobbie had been the one to turn her own thinking about Mars. She couldn't help but determine that they were supposed to cross paths, meant to come together, for a reason. 

She lifted a hand to cover Bobbie's cheek, cool from the night air. "My beautiful Martian," she said quietly. She'd wanted to tell Bobbie the breadth of her feelings many times before, but it never seemed like the right time and the words always stuck in her mouth. But tonight, with every bit of pressure finally off them, the words came with ease. "I do love you so much." 

Bobbie's lips parted and her brow knit with emotion that was always just under the surface, but rarely expressed. She didn't say it back and Chrisjen knew she wouldn't. She didn't expect her to. Words were easy for Chrisjen, words are what she did. They didn't come as naturally to Bobbie. However, Bobbie had already told Chrisjen the same thing a hundred times, because actions were what came easily to Bobbie. Soft touches reserved only for her, kisses that made her melt, holding her on difficult days, not to mention that Bobbie would go to the ends of the Sol to protect her. She didn't need to hear the words from her Martian, she already knew. 

Bobbie's only reply was to whisper her name, "Chrisjen," before leaning in to capture her lips. 

Shifting closer to one another, they settled into soft kisses. After only a moment, Chrisjen felt warmth spread through her. Her arms moved around Bobbie of their own accord, pulling until she was on top of her, propped on an elbow at each side of Chrisjen's ribcage. 

Chrisjen had always been preoccupied with Bobbie's lower lip. It was always begging to be kissed. Chrisjen nipped at the plump bottom lip, her tongue coming out to roll over it, seeking to deepen their contact. Bobbie obliged, parting her lips. Their tongues touched, only for a second before Chrisjen kissed her bottom lip again. Then it was Bobbie's turn to ask for more. She gently pressed her tongue to Chrisjen's and their mouths began to move together, a dance of exploration and intimacy. 

Neither of them pushed any farther, content to simply learn the other. In the weeks that Bobbie had been on Earth, they'd had sex multiple times and each time they learned more of the other's body. They learned each other's likes and dislikes. They learned what made the other ache deep inside. They also learned the sweet touches that kept them both clear headed while still able to get lost in affection. 

That's what these kisses were. She could kiss Bobbie like this for hours. It was deep and tender and completely perfect, but enough that Chrisjen knew the slightest movement could ignite a spark into a raging inferno. She loved walking that line with Bobbie. How far could they take it before they couldn't take it anymore and the need became overwhelming. 

But tonight was different. Tonight all Chrisjen wanted to be close, to be held. She didn't have much left to give, so she laid happily on her roof, allowing every touch of Bobbie's mouth to soothe her weary spirit. 

Finally, it was Bobbie who reduced the contact to light kisses at Chrisjen's neck, then her jaw, her temple, and finishing at the corner of her closed eye before shifting to lay her head at Chrisjen's chest, tucked under her chin. Chrisjen loved the opportunity to wrap the young woman in her arms, for it was too often the opposite. The shorter one of the two of them rarely had the chance to feel the sensation of warm breath across her skin as she held the other tight. 

An idea began to form in Chrisjen's mind, something she'd been wanting to do for a long time, but put off again and again, waiting until the timing was perfect. Now all they had was time. 

"I have something I want to give you," she told Bobbie. 

Bobbie hummed in reply, not wanting to move. "Oh, yeah?" 

"It's something I've been keeping for you for a while." 

That got Bobbie's attention. She propped herself up once again with a curious expression. "What is it?" 

Chrisjen smiled, suddenly feeling a little excited. "Let me show you." 

********************

Almost an hour later, they were driving back through the city toward the UN. It was the wee hours of the morning and Chrisjen had been up all night, but she felt sharp nonetheless. The anticipation was almost more than she could bear. She wanted to spill the beans, but she wanted to see the shocked look on Bobbie's face even more. 

"I can't believe you made me do this." Bobbie's tired voice sounded from the passenger seat as she rubbed her eyes. Chrisjen only grinned in response. "How are you even awake right now?" 

"Because for the first time in decades, I don't have to go to work at the crack of dawn," Chrisjen answered. 

Bobbie chuckled softly. "Well, thank goodness for self driving vehicles." 

The car was headed toward a UN facility near the water. Bobbie had never been there. The surprise shouldn't be spoiled. Turning off the freeway, the car directed itself while Chrisjen scrolled through her data pad, looking for the correct document. She found it and slipped the pad back into the pocket of her fashionable leather jacket. She'd wait for the right moment to reveal it. 

They had dressed quickly, Chrisjen doing her best to still look presentable, lest she see any colleagues, was clad in slacks, a blouse, and a form fitting leather jacket that Bobbie had said she liked once. It had become Chrisjen's favorite jacket immediately following the compliment. Her companion, on the other hand, had opted for a t-shirt and her usual tactical pants. 

Soon, the car parked and Chrisjen climbed out. She shut the door and they began walking toward the gate of the massive facility. 

"Where the hell are we?" 

She turned to see Bobbie looking straight up, as if trying to see the top of the huge structure, which towered hundreds of feet above them. Her features were etched in confusion. 

"A UN holding facility," Chrisjen answered. 

"What could you possibly be holding in here?" 

Chrisjen understood the questions. This facility was gargantuan. It was even bigger once you were inside and were privy to how deep underground it went. But they didn't need to go too far to get to what Chrisjen was looking for. 

"Whatever the fuck we want," she replied nonchalantly, heading toward the exterior office that acted as an entry gate. They stepped inside to see a small crew on guard and alert. 

The moment they passed the threshold, the four man team snapped to attention. The one behind the desk spoke. "Secretary General Avasarala, it's an honor, ma'am." 

Expression softening, Chrisjen replied, "At ease, all of you." When they relaxed, she added, "I don't believe you answer to me anymore."

Another of them said, "With all due respect, Madam, I don't recall seeing Ms. Gao take the oath of office yet." 

With a small nod, Chrisjen swallowed against the lump in her throat, what she knew would be one of the first of many. "Well, I guess that means I don't have to fight my way past you all to get in." 

With a smile, the desk guard confirmed, "Of course not." He opened the locked metal door, letting them in. "I assume you want Hangar One." 

"Correct." 

"I'll unlock it as you go, ma'am." 

"Thank you very much," Chrisjen said. 

The next door was unlocked and she led the two of them down a long hallway. Taking a turn, another door ahead unlocked as the guard followed their movement on the security cameras. Signage on the walls guided them past Hangars two, three, and four to a smaller one. 

She turned to see Bobbie anxiously looking through the windows that allowed a view into each hangar. 

"This is amazing," Bobbie commented. "I've never seen so many different ships all in one place. Not even at the shipyard in Mariner Valley." She looked to Chrisjen. "What is this place?" 

Giving up part of her secret, she answered, "It's a military impound lot, so to speak." The second to last door unlocked with a metallic clang and they went through to a more narrow hallway. "Small ships, small freighters and frigates even, come here in the instance that the UN must seize them." 

They finally came to the last door, marked Hangar One - Security Clearance Level 5. Chrisjen was one of only a handful of people that had the stated clearance. The heavy metal door unlocked and she had to lean her shoulder into it to open it.

"A little help maybe," she said sarcastically. 

"Oh, no," Bobbie returned, "you definitely have it." 

Chrisjen rolled her eyes as she struggled a second longer with the large door. When they were both inside, she walked along the wall, seeking out the wall plate full of industrial light switches. She turned them on one at a time, revealing her prize. 

Hangar One was still huge, though it only contained one ship, one small ship, docked on its belly. Chrisjen turned toward Bobbie, a closed-lipped smile on her face as she waited. 

Bobbie looked the small boat up and down, her brow knit. Chrisjen knew exactly what she was thinking. It looked the same, but different. Bobbie took a few steps closer. Slowly, her lips parted and her eyes widened with recognition. 

"No way," she whispered. With long strides, she went up to the ship, standing on her tiptoes, she peered through the front window near the pilot's seat. Her head shot around to Chrisjen. "It's the _Razorback_!" 

Chrisjen laughed lightly. "Plus a few modifications," she said. 

Suddenly, Bobbie was like a kid in a candy store, unable to keep her hands or eyes off the ship. She ran her palms over the exterior. The trademark red and white paint job had been replaced with a black matte finish, but not just any black matte finish. 

"I can't believe it," Bobbie said. "This is Martian stealth tech." 

With a nod, Chrisjen confirmed. "Imagine being not just the fastest ship in the Sol, but undetectable as well." 

Bobbie stepped back, realizing just how extensive the mods were. "What else?" She asked, gaze glued to the _Razor_. 

"We weaponized it, as you can see." Chrisjen indicated the three small torpedo launchers housed underneath each one of the three long panels that ran the length of the ship, giving it its sleek style and inability to be affected by any type of drag. "These are Series Ten Lithium hybrid launchers. They are light enough not to affect her speed. They hold only one shot apiece though. Here," Chrisjen showed Bobbie a small retractable panel on the side. "Retractable railgun. Small, but it will get the job done. But, the idea is the stealth will keep you from having to use all this." She waved her hand dismissively at the weaponry. 

Inspecting the launchers, Bobbie observed, "This must've cost a fortune." 

"It did," she confirmed, though the money was an afterthought. She had plenty. "But considering how much trouble you keep getting yourself into, you'll need all the help you can get to stay out of it. The _Razorback_ would be a great help indeed."

Bobbie looked at her, Chrisjen's meaning dawning on her. She hesitated, suddenly drawing back from the ship. "Oh, no," Bobbie said, glancing back at the boat. "I can't." 

"Yes, you can." Chrisjen pulled out her data pad. A couple of taps and she swiped toward the pocket she knew Bobbie's own pad was in. 

The young woman pulled it out and looked at the document displayed on the screen, the title to the _Razorback._

"Chrisjen, it's too much." Bobbie was shaking her head, looking overwhelmed. 

"Consider it payment for services rendered." Chrisjen was simply happy to know that she'd thrilled Bobbie with the gift. Voice softening, she added, "You saved my life in this ship." 

With a hand leaning against the _Razor's_ hull, Bobbie looked the ship over again, more slowly, taking in every inch. "I almost killed you in this ship," she said, barely above a whisper. Glancing back to Chrisjen, her enthusiasm returned. "How did you integrate the controls for all this into the system?" 

Walking around the boat to the airtight bulkhead door, Chrisjen opened it with ease. She'd had enough practice. She ushered Bobbie inside. 

The interior was as small as ever, with only enough room for two, and just barely. They moved toward the two interlocked pilot seats, connected by free moving gimbals. The gimbals allowed the two seats to stay stable and in line through high speed maneuvers. Pulling up the holographic control panels, Chrisjen motioned with her hand and spread the lighted panels out in front of them. She had been in here every chance she could, learning from the engineering team. Bobbie slipped up beside her and Chrisjen showed her how to navigate around the new system. 

Almost speaking to herself, Bobbie said, as she flipped through the controls, "There's no way I can pilot this by myself with all these mods." 

Chrisjen had been waiting for her to say it. It was true, with the new modifications, there was no way anyone could fly the ship alone. That's why she had been undergoing an intense training regimen for months to prepare. 

Trying to keep her voice even, she responded, "It's a good thing you have a copilot." 

Bobbie looked at her, studied her. "You?" 

"You seem surprised," Chrisjen drawled, sarcastic. She knew Bobbie wouldn't believe her. 

"You're going to copilot the _Razor_ , are you?" Now Bobbie was being sarcastic. Her expression turning serious, she said, "I recall you stroking out at five Gs and scaring the hell out of me." 

Grinning triumphantly, Chrisjen told her, "Then it's a good thing I can pull eight Gs." 

Lips parting, Bobbie was incredulous. "Eight?" Chrisjen nodded. "Since when?" 

"I've been doing space readiness training with a group of marines," she answered as she casually brushed some imaginary dust from the shoulder of her jacket, looking quite pleased with herself. 

"Chrisjen Avasarala," Bobbie replied quietly, "in space readiness training with a bunch of marines." 

Chrisjen lifted her hands as if to say _'look at me.'_ In fact, she was quite proud of her efforts. It had taken all her fortitude to overcome her fear of space travel, or at least launch. The high G training had threatened to kill her, literally, but she didn't give up. She kept being told her body would adjust, and it did. Soon she was taking the _Razorback_ out into orbit completely on her own, pre-modifications. 

Bobbie walked the few short steps to stand in front of Chrisjen in the small bunk area, resting her hands at Chrisjen's curves. "I'm impressed," Bobbie said. 

It was the best compliment she could receive. "Thank you." She slipped her arms up and around Bobbie's neck. 

"You know," Bobbie told her, drawing them closer, "if this is my boat, that means I'm the captain." Their lips were a breath apart when she finished, "That means you take orders from me." She pressed a soft kiss at Chrisjen's lips. 

"You might not believe this," she replied, placing another kiss at Bobbie bottom lip, "but I'm okay with that." 

One last kiss and Bobbie released her, moving back to the digital consoles. She tapped around, getting to know the systems. Chrisjen watched her, Bobbie in her element. Just then, the young woman turned to her, eyes wide like something dawned on her. 

"Hear me out," she said. "Marco Inaros is still out there." Chrisjen allowed a small smile to come to her lips. She loved how quickly Bobbie jumped to the same page as she did. Bobbie must've noticed the knowing look. "You already have a plan," Bobbie grinned. 

"Of course I do." 

********************

The next afternoon, the _Razorback_ had been moved to the launch pad outside Hangar One. Bobbie was making the final preparations for departure. She looked over the ship's exterior one last time. Her palm ran over the stern bulkhead almost reverently, still unable to believe the _Razor_ was really hers. It was the greatest gift she'd ever been given. Or maybe the woman of her dreams co-piloting with her was the greatest gift. 

Moving into the small ship, she made sure everything was secured. Bobbie didn't have many belongings and they fit easily in the tiny storage spaces. She was waiting on Chrisjen to bring her things. She had given the more materialistic woman a lengthy explanation as to why it was so important to keep their gear as light as possible, insisting that Chrisjen needed to keep what she brought to a minimum. 

A knock at the airlock door caught Bobbie's attention. It was Chrisjen. "Come get this stuff," she told Bobbie matter of factly. 

Lifting one eyebrow at her, Bobbie sighed, knowing her advice on the complications of weight distribution and space travel had gone ignored. She came out of the ship and was met with several large suitcases. 

Brow raising she looked at Chrisjen. "Are you kidding me?" Waving her hands toward the luggage, she said, exasperated, "We talked about this!" 

Chrisjen feigned ignorance. "What are you talking about?" 

Bobbie looked at her, frustrated. "We can't stow all this. Leave what you don't need." She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to sound authoritative. 

However, Chrisjen only looked thoroughly amused, and mirrored her position mockingly. "We can stow it all," she insisted. "You just have to be strategic." 

Not backing down, irritated that her warning had gone unheeded, Bobbie said, "I told you that you could have anything you needed delivered to Luna Station when we get there." 

Then Chrisjen smiled at her affectionately and Bobbie told herself not to give in. But when Chrisjen said, "You're adorable when you're angry," something about her saying the word 'adorable' with that perfect accent transfixed her. 

Bobbie huffed and proceeded to take the bags onto the ship. She briefly opened each one to see what was in them so she could place them in the best way that wouldn't disturb the Razorback's delicate balance when maneuvering. Three of them were clothing, though with all the fabric of each of Chrisjen's pieces, not many fit into each suitcase. Another was filled with tightly wrapped and packed objects that Bobbie knew held great significance for her. She even found some photographs tucked neatly into a side pocket with several images of her late son. 

Chrisjen had spent a lengthy life on Earth and now she was trying to stuff all of it into a few bags. Bobbie suddenly felt a pang of guilt for badgering her. Her frustration subsided and she set about securing the bags without another grumble. 

When she finished, she looked around to notice Chrisjen already in the rear pilot seat, glancing over the nav system. She made her way over and placed an easy kiss at the woman's temple. 

"Ready?" She asked. 

With a deep breath, Chrisjen closed her eyes briefly. When she looked back to Bobbie, she simply nodded. Bobbie gently squeezed her shoulder before moving to the air tight door and pulling it closed. 

Next, she moved to take her seat at the front of the ship. She radioed in, "UN Tower One, this is the _Razorback._ Request permission to launch." 

The reply was swift. "Request granted _Razorback._ You are the only ship lifting off. Take your time." 

Just then, Chrisjen said from the seat behind her. "I wouldn't do this with anyone else, you know." 

Smiling softly to herself, Bobbie replied, "I'm honored, ma'am." She didn't mean to slip back to the formal term. It just came out, a reflex brought from the memories of the last time they were aboard this boat together. "You sure you're ready for what comes next?" 

Bobbie noticed on her digital readout that the navigation system had been initiated, indicating that Chrisjen was now guiding them. "Of course I'm fucking ready," came the answer. 

"Alright then." Bobbie tapped several buttons in quick succession and the engines roared to life. A gentle vibration came over the ship. One of the best things about this pinnace was how smooth everything felt from the hum of the engines to the ease of its steering. Bobbie was excited to get it off the ground. 

She radioed again, "UN Tower One, commencing launch." 

"Roger that, _Razorback._ Clear skies are above you." 

Bobbie grinned. It was a nice day for flying. "Sounds perfect, Tower One. We'll see you again soon." 

The tower signed off with a most sacred instruction for Bobbie. "Take care of Archangel." 

With a nod, Bobbie replied sincerely, "You all have my word. _Razorback_ , out." 

Hands on the control levers, Bobbie slightly pulled backward. She felt the ship lift off the ground and she easily maneuvered them up, up, and up. With their flight path clear to Luna Station, Bobbie told Chrisjen, "I'm gonna open her up." 

"Understood." 

Tapping a couple buttons, Bobbie took the control stick again and pushed it forward, hard. The Gs instantly pushed them back into their seats. Bobbie couldn't help the chuckle that escaped her throat at the sensation. 

"Having fun?" Chrisjen asked behind her. 

Bobbie tapped the button to turn on the seat cameras that Chrisjen had installed so the pilots could see each other. She saw that, despite the force of the acceleration, Chrisjen seemed fine. 

"You doing alright?" 

"Completely," she confirmed confidently. 

As they passed through the atmosphere, the friction of Earth's sky gave way to weightlessness. Bobbie pulled back the thrusters. They would be in orbit soon and headed for Luna to meet up with Nancy Gao's transition team. After that was still a mystery to her, though she trusted Chrisjen implicitly and looked forward to kicking ass at her side.

Soon the ship settled into a smooth orbit. The women looked at each other through the camera, each one wearing a small smile. One thing was sure - whatever came next, they would be together. 

"Alright," Chrisjen said. She pulled up the entire array of her digital control panels, studying them. "Teach me how to fly this thing." 

Bobbie schooled her excitement at the notion. With a close-lipped smile, she let out a confident, "Fuck, yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly hope you enjoyed this interpretation of Chrisjen and Bobbie in season 4. As I tap the Post button, I am literally already working on the sequel, which will pick up shortly after the point where this story ends. I should be able to keep up my weekly posting frequency. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for hanging with me on this story!


End file.
